My family still gives me shit about falling in the cat litter box, but are a little more understanding about me falling through the ceiling. Their rationale is in the ceiling I slipped, and that could’ve happened to anyone. However, when I fell in the cat box I had purposely grabbed hold of a live wire just to show that I could.
Expect more like that to come, since I have told my mother I will replace all the magnetic ballasts in her fluorescent fixtures in the basement with more energy efficient electronic ballasts. That means I have 10 chances to shock myself into oblivion. I’ve already bought the ballasts, now I just need to buy the right fluorescent tubes (called T-8s - much thinner than a normal tube, which is a T-12, but why am I telling you this?)
Now that I’m done hijacking my own thread, I thought of one more nasty thing to do with the crap you’ll find in a slob’s house. You know all those crumbs in the bottom of the toaster? Collect those and use it for breading next time you make fried chicken!
Damn! I just threw out my toaster crumbs this morning. (most of them were pop-tart crumbs, would have made some interesting breading.)
“Tabby” is fine. In fact, I borrowed my cat’s name when I joined the board. I’m a “Kris”, and my real name is pretty ubiquitous.
If you have any cobwebs on the cieling, do not remove them!! Hallowe’en is coming in a few weeks, and you will have a festive “haunted house” motif for your next big party.(READ: no chairs, much safer!) This is passive interior design at its best.
Ubiquitous? Admit it, you’ve just been biding your time waiting to use that word in a conversation, haven’t you? Personally, I’ve been waiting to use “defenestrate” and “verisimilitude” - preferably in the same sentence if I can manage it.
So I meant to ask earlier, you have a size 11 foot? How tall are you then? Or are you like me where your feet aren’t in proportion to your body? I’m 5’10" and wear a size 12. Sometimes I need a 13, depending how the shoe’s cut. In the Air Force, my callsign was Bigfoot.
How tall am I? 5’ 5 1/2". Too short to justify such big feet!
I can say with verisimilitude, that defenestration can be a good form of housecleaning for a lazy, digusting slob! (Yay! I didn’t go off topic!)
Sorry I took your words and ran with them. I have always loved “defenestrate”.
Ah, Crunchy (hard for me to call you that!)…you’re always good for a laugh. And all your slovenly habits and clumsy moments make me feel like the Goddes of Grace and Tidiness!
Since you’ve been hijacking your own thread, can i add something?
You mentioned a desire to use the word “defenestrate.”
I used to have a Window to the Past out which i would throw things that reminded me of people and times and I wanted to put behind me. This was when i was in high school.
All the things i tossed out landed in the yew bush far below, out of sight and out of mind forever.
Now my mom was an avid gardner/yardworker. So one day, to my horror she said
“Are these things yours?”, Pointing to an assortment of various objects that had disappeared out the Window to the Past.
I protested that i was never to see those things again because i had tossed them out the Window to the Past.
She said in a June Cleaver tone
“Now, Turps, if you didn’t want these things anymore, why didn’t you just throw them away instead of making a mess in the yew bush?”
“MooooooooOOOOooooOOOmm! It’s more SYMBOLIC to defenestrate them!”
Today’s secret word is “defenestrate”. Now we all know what happens when someone says the secret word…
DING DING DING DING DING
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Alas, Turp, I cannot use “defenestrate” any longer. The magic is gone for me now thanks to Tabby’s use of both my words and did it in the same sentence. I must now search the thesaurus and crossword puzzle dictionary for other forms of multisyllabic verbiage.
You sound like me. I have solved the problem by hiring a cleaning lady. I can’t imagine what she must think of me. She cleans the bathroom, does the entire weeks worth of dishes and vacuums. We tell her not to mess with the bedrooms. I don’t know what I’d do if somebody folded and put away all of my clothes. I know exactly where everything is. My favorite black tank top is still clean enough to get one more wearing and it’s wedged between the boxes I still haven’t unpacked since I moved in last January and the bookcase containing all of my hair products that belong in the bathroom and I never use anyway. I have 3 days worth of undies in a suitcase from my last trip to visit my parents that I never unpacked, and the dirty stuff is all laid neatly across the back of my chair, sheltering the clean stuff underneath it from a light dusting of cat hair.
Just remember; it’s not messy, just complicated.
And Tabby,
I’m a big footed clutz too…5’7 size 11 1/2 to 12. I have to wear mens shoes because most women’s stores don’t carry my size. You’d think these canoes would provide stability. I guess it’s just wishful thinking.
Crunchy Frog,
{highjack}
Here are a few of the words I’d like to try out, courtesy of Mrs. Byrne’s Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and Preposterous Words, By Josefa Heifetz Byrne. (Here’s the ISBN # on the book in case you want to check it out from your local library, and the librarian has to track it down: ISBN 0-671-49782-0)
I cross-referenced all of these words at Ask Jeeves.com. There are many more LOVELY words in the Byrnes book I haven’t been able to find elsewhere.
Refulgent
Felicific
Footle
Gorgonize
Has there been a thread about words that we want to work into a conversation?
{/highjack}
I have about three cases worth of empty pop cans sitting around my (full) wastebasket. There is a very large pile of clothes mixed with books behind me . . . mostly Stephen King stuff so I’m kinda worried that it’ll grab me while I’m typing thi
