I am the Fly Whisperer.

Just now I spied a fly. I’m nice and relaxed and have got headphones in so I don’t feel like getting up and swatting it.

It’s in reach and, somehow I know it’s not going to fly away if I move my hand towards it. I move my hand towards it, it doesn’t fly away. I put my finger on it’s back leg. It struggles. I squish it.

(well it was bugging me)

Cooties!

I’ve often thought that flies have some form of ESP, in that they can sense when you are thinking about squishing them.

A fly can be sitting on the desk quite happily… I’m watching it but not moving. Then I decide “Right, I’m going to smack it flat,” and even though I haven’t moved a muscle the fly will still take off immediately. What’s that all about?

Of course it’ll haunt you now. That is, unless you get a fly medium to go along with your own talents.
*
Bzzz… Kill the humans Bzzz…*

I am the dove whisperer. But I don’t squish them. (Ew.)

Fly whisperer? Meh. Bedbug whisperer? Now there’s a highly useful skill. Just ask Wallet.

The reason the fly didn’t try to escape is because it was already dying from a mutant superbug that has just surfaced, and which, if it is contracted by humankind, will spread inexorably throughout the world, killing 97% of its victims.

You will be the index case.

Nice going, Lobsang.

[teeny tiny whisper] Help me! Help meeeeeeeeee![/ttw]

If only he hadn’t had the headphones on… :smiley: