No really. The rest of you morons and idiots please get off the road.
Sorry to inform you, but you’re actually the world’s second best driver. Get it right – I’m the best, you’re in second.
Tied for second, actually.
With everyone else.
Now get the hell out my way! Can’t you see I’m driving, eating a sandwich and talking on my cell over here??
Can I be the worst?
Fry
Nope, that would be me…Wait a minute, are you from Mississippi?
Okay.
You know the best thing about driving on sidewalks…there are no speed limits.
I can hit my drives 600 yards…on a sidewalk.
Hmmm, everyone that drives slower than me is wasting their time, and everyone that drives faster than me is a maniac, so I think I must be in the top 5 drivers at the very minimum.
waits patiently on the bus, reading a book
The problem with being crowned the world’s worst driver is that it’s awarded posthumously!
Stop typing on the intarwub and pay attention to the road!
I have about 950,000 miles in 18-wheelers, 250,000 miles in cars and 50,000 miles on motorcycles.
Without a chargeable accident. Which means I am better than all you rookies.
Young whippersnappers think they can drive. You don’t know squat.
You’ll probably stack up a car or two before you are 30.
Hopefully, your arrogance won’t result in the injury or death of other drivers.
Sorry I backed onto your lawn. 
OK, but how many miles in zambinis?
What’s a Zambini?
Something for smoothing bean fields?
Maybe Lamborghini’s version of the ice resurfacer?
:smack: I mean Zamboni, of course.
I have driven down Wolf Creek Pass in a blizzard in December. Next to that, any other driving is hopscotch.
I will defer my excellent driving skills that are only surpassed by these guys.
In 1979, I drove from Johnstown, PA to Pittsburgh airport in an ice storm, in a rear-wheel drive car with no studded tires or chains, found out the flight of the person I was to pick up was (supposedly) cancelled, drove all the way back to Johnstown, 70 miles, every inch of which was coated in glare ice, at which point the person called to say they were at the airport and where the hell was I? So I did it all again.
So there. I am the best driver who ever drove anything ever. Also the dumbest.
Actually, I do own the road.
I drive in Tampa AND on US19 both, five days a week. I will survive. I am the best driver.
I also survived traffic in Beijing. I am the worlds best passenger.