As I type this, an F16 buzzes overhead. I grew up in the flight path of Plattsburg Air Force Base, and now live in the flight path of Burlington International Airport. This is the first time in my life I’ve noticed the whine of fighter plane engines. A sound that was annoying in my youth has become something more. It’s a symbol to me now, both of my vulnerability and my security.
Tonight I decided to get myself some funny movies. Court Jester (Danny Kaye) and The Unbelievable Truth (Hal Hartley). I can’t take the TV anymore. Driving to and from the video store, there were groups of people with lighted candles waving flags. Families. At 8:30 at night. And they waved to me. I was so moved, that I was afraid to pull my hand from the wheel to wave back. I did once, but it was dark, and I doubt they saw.
I burst into tears at the sight of people in front of Buckingham Palace singing “The Star Spangled Banner” this morning. PJ O’Rourke once wrote that the only thing that would bring the world to peace would be an alien invasion. Nothing else would unite us against a common enemy. Well, dammit, I think we’ve found our aliens. At the very least, I think we can agree it was an inhuman act.
In some ways, I am clinging to this moment. Because at this point, every country in the world, including Afghanistan, has denounced the act. We’re all on the same side. United.
But that will end soon.
Soon our intelligence officers will hunt down leads and establish the culprits. The organization will be tracked, the leader found. And because Bush has vowed to punish the harbourers of those responcible, they will be bombed, too. Soon there will be sides. Even if all goes well, and we properly annihilate those who annihilate so many; even if we bomb the water, electric and fuel lines of the harboring country, thereby crippling their ability to function; there will inevitably be further loss of civilian life on their side. Because once we establish sides, we create death.
Even if it is bin Laden, and even if we suceed in killing him, do we really expect that to be the end of the Taliban and of Mulim extremists? His organization is spread over dozens of coutries, with billions backing it. This money is partly bin Laden’s own, but we all know that he is being covertly supported by wealthy governments who agree with his Holocaust. If he dies, it will do nothing more than make a martyr of him. It will make his jihad stronger. Sure, we’ll feel better. Until they strike again. And now, according to CNN.com, we have the leader of the Taliban telling his people to prepare for a holy war: "Afghanistan had been invaded by great powers before, including Britain and Russia, and had withstood the assault, he said. ‘Now, the third empire of the world wants to impose an attack on us,’ he said. ‘As you know better, it is not because of Osama. This is the demonization of Islam.’ … In a 17-minute radio address, Supreme Leader Mullah Mohammed Omar said the Afghan people should not be afraid and that he was not afraid of dying. " (CNN.com) And so it begins.
I just spend an hour and a half reading up on the CIA’s involvement in the Afghanistan War. It makes me just a little less confused and a lot angrier. I’m angry at our government for supplying religious extremists with guerrilla warfare tactics and a reported $3 billion in aid. I’m angry that the Afghan Jihad would evolve from our ally to our enemy, and now use the same tactics our government trained them with against us. I’m angry we didn’t solve this problem diplomatically 15 years ago, as we should have. I’m angry with the way the Reagan administration handled the entire Middle East situation, from the Afghanis to Iran Contra, to aiding Hussein against the Iranians.
But I’m tired. Emotionally tapped. I have nothing left. This year has been too much. I am sitting here, with Aimee Mann’s Save Me on a loop, trying to make sense of the way that this country, which I simultaneously love and hate, has treated other human beings. As pawns to our own agenda. We used them to fight the Soviets. And when there were no more Soviets, we ignored them until they kill a couple thousands of our civilians. No wonder terrorism exists and grows: it is a direct result of our government’s inability to clean up it’s own messes. As a preschool teacher, I know that it is often more effective to ignore non-dangerous inappropriate behavior, as sometimes these behaviors are just a cry for attention. OK, this is a VERY dangerous inappropriate behavior. But I consider myself an educated, politically minded young woman, and it took this to make me read up on the Afghan Wars. That says something, perhaps only of my own laziness. But I do believe there is a correlation.
And I am embarrassed that it takes this type of devastation to cause me to have a profound pride in my countrymen. Why does it take thousands of dead bodies to create a widespread compassion in the world? Is it that we now all have the same nightmares? That we now all have the same enemy?
It is in dispute whether we have entered the Age of Aquarius. Some say that we have arrived in it, some say we will not arrive in it until 2100 AD. Everything the song from Hair said is true; it’s the age of peace and love. I can only hope that we aren’t. Because if this is peace, if this is love, then I’d hate to see what comes next.