Haha! Too much is lost in translation…
If it’s any help, Paul, i’m sure your lecture on Kubla Khan would be a lot more interesting that the ones I had today.
I’m feeling so thick right now. What are these rules that don’t allow you to say “die”? Who is enforcing them?
All you need do is imagine the Universal Mom saying it, in whatever language you are most comfortable with.
I think he’s confused about the board rule against wishing death on other posters.
Paul, if it’s any consolation, I reckon you write a kickarse rant. Not a felched goat to be seen, but a beautifully subtle rant that it is impossible to be unsympathetic towards. Well done, sir.
Here’s hoping you have a better day tomorrow.
I don’t think that would help at all. He’d still be stopped in the middle of the road.
Hope tomorrow goes better. (And if it doesn’t, chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.)
First you find the person who clipped your mirror, then drink down a slug of Ipicac while quickly moving beside him. Bonus befuddlement points if you manage to apologize and tell him that you are on your period before you barf on him.
Guaranteed to make you feel better.
I realize that you are just joshing here, but dudes: do not (unless on a Medical Professional’s advice) ever take Ipicac. Not only will you be sick as a dog, but it’s dangerous on several levels.
Paul, dude- you have my sympathy. Sounds like a bummer day. 
Your ideas of teaching your parrot obscenties, puking and reading Kubla Khan intrigue me, sir. I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Are you sure about that? Remember he has a parrot, whose cage needed to be lined and cleaned periodically.
Thank you very much.
Everybody has bad days.
Last I checked, we’re not allowed to wish death on other posters, but anyone outside the board is fair game.
Go ahead, you’ll feel better.
Hey, Paul. You’re just the person to ask. I’ve wondered this for years. What the hell is a “pleasure dome” anyway and where can I order one?
Nice rant, but here’s the part I don’t get.
Basically, you’re getting paid for a job you can’t do because the scheduling dept. messed up and you therefore have no students to teach. And then you go off and have a nice lunch and therefore can’t exercise as a consequence. Sounds pretty good to me so far. What am I missing?
I consulted with my parrots, and they agreed that parrots are major fans of yelling and puking, and they feel your bird would be entertained by both activities, sequentially or simultaneously. For Kubla Kahn I got one “hello”, 2 “erks” and a hail of passionate Steve bird kisses.
I sympathize with the driving thing. I used to live in Dearborn, where the car in motion has right of way.
I know. But the translation was done for “most reader’s benefit”. Paul’s Spanish is good enough to understand it in the original 
I like to teach. I do not really work ‘for the money’ so much anymore. I do not like sitting around (for three days) with no students. I get bored.
On the other hand, things are looking up. The supermarket had Ben&Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. Thank you all very much for your support during my difficult yesterday.
You don’t order one. You decree it. If you’re not important enough for your decree to be heeded, you’re too far down the food chain to qualify for a pleasure dome.
Personally I really rate the idea of a parrot that sits at the back of the class “RAWK! Stupid-ass students! Why don’t you show up for lessons? RAWK! Do you want to fail the course?”. Enough repetition might hammer the message home.