Forgive me, I never really rant well. Nobody is ever fascinated by my ideas and asks to subscribe to my newsletter. Nonetheless, I am very upset and there is nobody around here to yell at except a parrot.
I am upset that I had no students today. I sat around the office today memorizing Kubla Khan. I am upset at my scheduling department.
I am upset at my company. I have not been on vacation in Ten freakin’ months. At night The Voices come and talk about setting fires.
I am upset with Saudi Drivers. Having wasted my day at work, I decided to treat myself to a late lunch at Fuddruckers. It was rush hour. Some fool in a black Cressida pulled the hell out in front of me, blocking my way and then freakin’ stopped. Brakes squealed. Anti-locks pulsed. The car behind me stopped short. And this fool looked at me like I was freakin’ nuts! “Sir?” he seemed to ask “Why are you upset? Can I help you?” (The rules will not let me use the three-letter verb here) , that is how you can help! Then I was trying to calm down and just drive the hell down the overly-crowded street. Some Fool (#2) clipped my wing mirror. Then had the audacity to roll down the window and yell at me! He honestly thought he was in the right to merge into my lane! He was in the freakin’ breakdown lane. He can (can use that verb here, rules) too. Slowly.
I am upset with me. What the hell was I doing, taking out my frustrations on Fool 1 by driving aggressively? I know better. Saudis are fools (and the Fools were both Saudis.) but it takes two to make an accident.
Then I ate too much. Now i am stuffed and unable to go to the gym to work off my anger. I have a tummy ache. I am upset with me, Fuddruckers or perhaps all the carbon-based life forms on Sol-3.
Now I am sitting in an apartment fuming and have no way to work off my frustrations. So I am here. Soon some smart-ass will declare my pitting unworthy. That poster may also (three-letter verb, imperative sense).
Because the very last thing you need is a parrot that sits at the back of the classroom and yells “Stupid %&*$&&@ students! Show up for class some time and maybe you wouldn’t fail! Boy, that really (several word combo)!”
Paul, will you feel better if I say that the US has the bestest eddycational system in, on, around, about, above or below Sol 3, or will you do like my Mom and yell “now don’t you go saying I’m right! I’m not crazy, I don’t need you to say that I’m right!”?
(loose translation of “¡deja de darme la razón como a los locos!”)
Combine two activities and teach the parrot Kubla Khan?
Sorry you’re having a crappy time, Paul. To be in a terrible mood and then get into a near-accident where you can’t even yell at the guy who screwed up? I’m not sure of the medical possibility of it, but I suspect my head would explode.
Aha! I can’t tell you how long I stared at that, thinking of all the cuss words I know, and coming up with 4 and 5 and 6 letter words, but no 3…
Cross that off my list.
what is a Fuddruckers doing is Saudi Arabia? Please don’t destroy my illusions anymore. Next you’ll tell me there’s a Chucky Cheese and I’ll have no reason to travel and will live out my life a bitter woman…
“I am fascinated by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter” is a high form of praise in the Pit. The sort of praise my rants never receive. It is time for bed now.
