Wait, I’m part German and part Cherokee.
Do they cancel each other out? Can I claim emotional battery from one part of my heritage to another?
I’m also Swiss. I know there’s a neutrality joke in there somewhere, but damned if I can think of it.
Ava
Just not charged up about injustices done to your ancestors? (no charge…neutral…sigh, back to work)
Well, all of my ancestors from the Northern UK were terrorized for centuries by Viking raiders, so all those people from … umm … wherever the hell Vikings came from better just watch out. Them and all those football fans I see in Minneapolis…
Well, I suppose you could always scalp Jews with a Swiss Army knife.
All of these people have it EASY! What about the poor Osmonds? They’re a little bit Country…AND a little bit Rock and Roll!
OK, level with me… am I going to hell for laughing at that? 
That means you hate both Jews and walking.
Im Italian, my ancestors have been “whacking” each other for decades, my boss better watch himself!!!
See you there! I’ll bring the beer! 
I’m so going to get nailed at work one of these days.
Ava
OK…this is getting complicated. I’m Irish, English, Scottish, German, French and Ukrainian. That means my people have either caused, or suffered, most of the trauma the Western world has seen in the last 500 years.
Hmmmm…who to hurt for this? Decisions, decisions.
Coldfire, I’ll save you a seat by the coals. Avabeth’s bringing the beer. EddyTeddyFreddy is a minion for making me laugh that hard!
The last place I worked at had a strict policy against that, which I ran seriously afoul of until my lawyer explained that the roots of my family tree go all the way back to Sparta, and I suffer post-generational work-related buggery stress disorder, which compels me to duck into the supply closet frequently with anyone who’s willing.
All right, Larry wins.
wipes tears from eyes
I’m half-imbecile, and all this time I’ve been beating the crap out of people who looked smarter than me, thinking I’d get in some kind of trouble.
So what ethnic group is it whose history compels its members to turn into weasel-ass lawyers? 
Wait, so does this apply to all African-Americans, or only those whose ancestors were slaves? Or has “African-American” been reclaimed to mean that, and everyone who just looks black is now a More-Specific-American?
I mean, ok, it might potentially happen, but surely only if, say each generation was abusive in turn, and aren’t there already theories describing having abusive parents => abuse? Or is a culture thing? “Damn, apparently people with the same skin colour as me used to be opressed. Therefore I should beat the crap out of my son.”
Except it sounds silly when you say it like that.
Shouldn’t he be beating his kids with an absense of potatoes?
<Red Versus Blue>This doesn’t seem physically possible! Agh! This doesn’t seem physically possible! Agh! </RvB>
No way dude, they got both of them: ketchup and mustard.
I think the Irish Famine defense only applies to PotatoHead abuse.
Hmm, let’s see… I’m half Filipino, so my ancestors killed Magellan, so that means I harbor a lingering resentment for Spaniards, especially because they took over the country. But I probably also have some Spanish blood as a result, so I have some self-loathing as well. Oh, but wait, Magellan sailed under the Spanish flag, but he was actually Portuguese, so I hate the Portuguese too. And yet I also have some Portuguese ancestors, what to do? There are also Irish, German, Czech, French, Algonquin, and who knows how many other genes battlling it out in me, and my wife’s half WASP and half Jewish by way of Russia and Austria. It’s a wonder I haven’t exploded by now.
No, he should put his children inside an empty sack of potatoes and procede to beat the living lights out of them with a rusty plow.
My ancestors were French nobility.
Guess I’ll line up for my asskicking now.