I’m excited, but also a little nervous. Discipline will be the main priority, but any tips how to go about subbing would be appreciated! Anecdotes anyone? I expect there to be some trying times (my friend taught Sex ed and apparently that was a gong show 
), but I’m gonna give it my best.
Every day for you will be the first day. God help you.
On your first day, beat one of the youngsters to within an inch of their lives. Ideally, choose an orphan. The other kids will respect you after that.
Damn it. I came in here to say the same thing.
I’d say if it was a short term gig (a day or so) then just screw the lesson plan and teach them about something you know and like, ala Jack Black in School of Rock.
If it’s a longer deal ( a week or so) scare the little bastards to death by continuing to bring up Viet Nam, no matter what the subject is, and get angrier and angrier the longer you talk. I had a sub do this once and NOBODY screwed around even a little bit.
Do that while subbing for one of my classes and I flat guarantee that it will be the last time you are called to my campus.
If there isn’t a lesson plan, and there frequently isn’t, this will work. If there is a lesson plan, follow it. Students will try to walk all over you. You will rarely be wrong if you refuse all requests. Firm but funny always works. The students have no say in whether or not you get called back for other classes. The teachers do.
Otherwise, vetbridge has it pretty much right. 
I have a friend who subbed for years, and she swears by timers. Get an inexpensive kitchen timer, and tell the kids that if they work silently (or read, do homework, whatever) for fifteen-twenty minutes, when the timer goes off they get to talk quietly for the rest of the period. If you want, crank the timer up a minute or two if anyone talks while it’s “quiet time.”
What grade level?
Regardless of age: Bring candy. I think this might even be more effective with older (high school) students than kids. The quickest way to their hearts, and all that.
Also, I don’t recommend it, but speaking from experience: If you come across as really, really angry and really, really harsh, discipline-wise, at first, the rest will be easier.
More specifics. Do you lace the candy with narcotics? Hallucinogens? Dissociatives like Ketamine perhaps?
I’ve accepted grades 3 - 12. I’ll do anything!
I’m in the process of making a subbing “kit” today. Complete with fun prizes, extra activities, and games. Also a portable “rules and expectations” poster will be included.
Some advice: if you are qualified to treach the subject matter, follow the lesson plan left by the teacher.
If you are NOT, just have the kids read the textbook. When they start talking, stand up and tell them to stop. Other than that God help you.
Take a VCR tape of of movie. For when there is no lesson plan.
If you like the teacher and the class, leave a way for the teacher to contact you to sub in the future. Building relationships is important here.
If there is nothing in the classroom, check the teacher’s mailbox and ask the department chair. Don’t worry about getting them in trouble, they should have left plans.
If there is a fight, send SEVERAL kids to get LOTS of adults. Don’t get between fighting girls.
As much as possible, sub in one small school. You will get to know the kids and it won’t be like you are new all the time.
Leave the teacher notes about everything that happens.
If anyone asks you you HAVE to do something that seems suspect (transport kids in your car, change a special ed kid’s diaper,) or that it’s ok to do that seems suspect (send kids out to get you lunch, look at porn on the classroom computer), trust your instincts.
Don’t take it personally if the “real” teachers ignore you, especially at first. A lot of subs go through, and they are often Very Strange People. Once you are around a bit and seem to be sticking, people will be friendly.
Do you want to teach at some point? I have a whole different set of advice if that is the case.
Yes eventually, I need to get more experience before I get a job. Actually I want to sub this next year and then try and get onboard the JET programme to teach in Japan. After that we’ll see about a full time position.
By the way I think two people have told me in this thread I will need God’s help to get through this.
Encouraging thoughts people! I know it’s tough, but it can’t be too insane if i’m prepared. Some people do nothing but sub.
Ok, if you want to teach someday:
Remember that you can HATE subbing and still love teaching, so don’t get scared out of the profession if you hate it. THe difference with subbing is that you don’t real form relationships wit hte kids, nor do you really feel like you are part of the school community–two of the best things about teaching.
It’s certainly not an impossible job, and some people like it. There will be good days and bad days. Don’t be scared.
One more thing: learn names QUICKLY, even if it’s only a few. You can’t really be effective if oyu are saying “You there. Redhead. Be quiet!” Make a serious attempt to remember names and your day will be easier.
I do it. Now, I’m a teacher looking for work and have 2 years full-time experience, so maybe I’m different.
It’s not that bad if you are in a good district. My teachers usually leave adequate plans. I bring no back-up. I usually make this the rule(and I do 7-12 grades).
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We will work quietly for the first 5 minutes.
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If we work quietly, I’ll allow talking while working on 2 conditions. First, it’s at a quiet volume(louder than whisper but much quiet than the hallway). Second, EVERYONE is working.
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If its too loud or I see lazy people, we go back to silence for 5 more minutes before we try again. If I have too many troubles, it is silent for the whole period.
It works. I honestly find the students like it. It’s fair, reasonable, and it appeals to the good and bad students.
Last time I was a substitute teacher there was no lesson plan and the book I was told they were reading - they had finished the day before.
I was also there on a Friday.
Let’s just say it wasn’t a pretty picture and, short of being heavily armed and holding the leash on a pit bull, there was nothing I could have done to keep those high school sophomores from basically having the run of the room. I was able to keep them IN the room, but that was about it. “Teaching” was not going to happen that day, despite best of intentions.
Good luck.
Have some beer in the fridge for when you get home.
I know someone else mentioned this, but I highly recommend getting into just a couple of schools that you like. It will take time to do that, and at first you’ll have to just take whatever jobs you can get. But as you get into the schools and meet people and see what it’s like, you’ll find where you seem to fit best. The last year that I subbed, I had it down to where I only went to a few places and only taught subjects I wanted to – the whole school year! (Well, maybe only 90% of it.)
You’ll get to know those kids and those teachers, and you’ll get to know those school rules (and boy can they sometimes be widely different!). You’ll get the benefits of being a teacher, but won’t have to do lesson plans or grade many papers. I LOVED subbing.
With grade school kids you can always bribe them with game time (no kid turns down Heads Up 7 Up!). And I always used the idea of “If you work for x minutes, then I’ll let you talk for the last y mintues of class”. This was especially effective in middle school. And I would take away one minute every time I had to quiet them down. I rarely had to take away more than two minutes of free time.
Meet other teachers. Eat in the lounge or wherever it is the other teachers are. This can get you more sub jobs as well as help through the day and maybe even some friends. Get business cards and put them in teacher’s mailboxes so they will know you are available to work. I did this my first day at every school when I was first starting out, and I got a lot of calls out of it.
And I always took a book or cross-stitch or puzzle magazines or whatever, for planning period. You’ll need something to do, especially if you have 90 minutes. Of course, this will all depend on how your school system rules set up, but at some of the schools I was able to get a guest password, or even a real username to be allowed to use the computer for my free times. At other schools they said no, since I wasn’t a faculty member at the school.
Take your vitamin C and get all your vaccinations. The one semester I substitute taught (grades K-12), I got strep three times and the chicken pox. It was those 4th graders who did it to me, the little bastards.
I really enjoyed substitute teaching. My advice would be to take any assignment they throw at you. My favorite assignment was a class at the elementary school for severely physically and intellectually disabled kids. There were supposed to be three teachers in the classroom (of about 8 kids, if I’m remembering correctly). One of them was out for about a week, so I had two permanent teachers there who took care of the worst part (changing diapers, feeding tubes, etc.). I got to be the fun one who read stories and did crafts. It was so much fun. I also liked the day I substitute taught for the high school band teacher. I had no idea, of course, so I got to sit there and read while the orchestra played for me.
Webcamming the fights between girls can help you pay off your loans at a faster rate.
Other than that, since it is the end of the year ( I am assuming) : movies, movies, movies.
No.
Set fire to the little nosedribblers, instead.
Then, sit at the front of the classroom, & chant “Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!” over & over again.
It will endear you to the little poo-flingers.