Ah. I’m merely stupid. Thank you.
::bangs head against desk::
::repeatedly::
Very…ya gotta love the erm…consistency…of the Rules O’ Da English Language. 
Oh…and for the sake of the “I believe” thing…
I believe in being the first man to do a keg-stand in space.
–IDB
Steve Martin once said:
“I believe that aliens are stealing my luggage”
I believe he was right.
I believe that coffee is always better when it’s been freshly ground.
I believe having two or three really good friends is much better than having a lot of acquaintances.
I believe it’s better to be alone & happy than miserable with someone.
I believe that Life is what you make of it.
I believe that your true friends are the ones that stand by you through it all.
I believe that Zappo just rocks
I believe that the SDMB is more than “just a message board”, because I’ve met the man I love and some of my best friends here.
I believe that I want some ice cream.
I believe I should move the books off my bed.
I believe that pot roast is wonderful.
I believe that “tomorrow” is one of the best times to do work.
I believe in the essential goodness of puppies and kittens.
I believe a good book, an electric blanket, and Earl Grey tea is the best way to spend time by myself
I believe in homemade brownies as a great antidepressant
I believe that chicken and dumplings cements friends together for life
I believe my prayers often fall on deaf ears
I believe that sometimes people just can’t see me.
But I also believe that tommorow just might be a better day, and wouldn’t it be a shame to not give it a chance to be?
I believe in keyboards. The musical ones should have 88 keys and the alphanumerics should be QWERTY.
I believe in Macintosh. Only people whose fingers have brushed the mousebuttons of an actual Xerox Alto may hiss with derision. Twenty year mark in 9 months, baby. Kiss my 5-year-old and still kick-ass WallStreet PowerBook.
I believe in jeans. Denim jeans. For clothing myself and feeling comfy and for clothing female people for ideal visual appreciation. Jeans everywhere. Jeans in the workplace, jeans in the office, jeans in the shop, jeans in the courtroom. It’s the universal uniform.
I believe in bacon grease, cast iron frying pans, enameled iron saucepans, pyrex glassware, Ontario Knife Works knife blades, gas flames on the range, and golden fleece scouring pads. I believe in dried habañero peppers, basil in olive oil, whole peppercorns and coriander freshly ground, and Tabasco sauce. I believe in the pressure cooker almighty, the security of the tongs, the restoration of the salt shaker, the perseverance of real butter, and the steamer tray convenient.
I believe “no” means ask for a supervisor, a president, a god, or the god’s grandpa, and try again. I believe the Earth is a convenient-enough place to assemble 6-billion-and-change people for the purpose of explaining to them better ways of conducting “society”, and that I’m on stage now and everyday. I believe 90 isn’t very old and I’m not even halfway to 90 quite yet.
I believe in thinking.
I believe that tommorow morning I will wake up next to my wife. She will still love me.
I believe that good beer, good cheese and a great group of friends can make a fine evening. Even if you don’t like beer or cheese.
I believe that cooking a good meal can far outstrip anything you could get in a resturant, depending on if you can cook.
I believe that showing your asscrack at work is a bad thing.
I believe you shouldn’t ask what the last one is all about, but if you really want to know I will tell.
I believe kindness is the best gift you can give.
I believe my mother’s hugs can make it all better.
I believe mashed potatoes are a divine blessing.
I believe that good manners are cool.
I believe Bugs Bunny cartoons are funny.
I believe that anytime’s a good time for sleep.
I believe that you can spend an hour talking to your best friend, not say anything important, and be closer for it.
I believe in the Crystal Light, 'cause it believes in me.
I believe…
…that malted barley, hops, yeast and water is the best thing mankind ever created.
…that my kegerator is the best purchase I ever made.
…that I’ll go pour myself a beer when I finish this post.
…in always keeping my promises.
…that your real friends are the ones you’d die for.
…that there is no greater sense of freedom than when you’re on the road.
…in nap time.
…that everyone should spend time outside the country of their birth.
…in leaving home.
…in turning off the TV
…everything the neighbor’s dog tells me.
…in never taking myself, or anyone, too seriously
…that it’s time for that beer now.
…and that Maugham has a really good point below.
I believe that you can beleive what you want, but not neccesarily act on those beliefs.
I believe that C.S. Lewis was one of the finest Authors, who cares if he wrote it for children, anybody can enjoy it.
I believe that burritos, when done properly, are truly food of the gods.