I bought an Entenmann’s All Butter Cake. When I went to eat it I noticed the end flap had been opened and a slice neatly cut off with a knife! Do you eat it?
Nope!
How poor and hungry are you? Mostly, unless you need it to sustain your life until you can get something else to eat, I’d say no.
Of course not. You can’t buy your cake and eat it too.
Ewwwww!
Don’t eat it. Go gripe at the store. Get a refund.
That’s bad, but better than where my mind went when I read the title.
Ewwww!
I wouldn’t eat it and I would return it to the store where I bought it for a refund or replacement.
Although I’d be prepared for the possibility that they would treat you poorly, regardless of whether they do anything to make you whole. Decades ago, I bought some pork chops from a major grocery store that turned out to be just … weird. They had these strange black spots on them. I took them back to the grocery and got a pretty icy reception; they did replace them, but they acted like it was all my fault, somehow, and they were doing me a favor. It was humiliating; I felt like they believed I was trying to cheat them somehow, which I most certainly was not.
Well, darn. Turns out the wife ate a piece. She never eats cake.
Wait six hours and if she survives, eat the rest in peace.
Obviously it said Eat Me. 
Did she become 10 feet tall after eating it?
I guess you can’t return the cake then. You could try returning the wife.
We got a used cake for my brother’s second birthday. Someone had ordered it for the previous day and never picked it up, so it was marked way down, and my mom decided, quite reasonably, that since my brother couldn’t read, he wasn’t going to care that it said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA NIMMY.”
She did scrape off the “Grandma Nimmy” part before serving it to guests, although that didn’t do much good, since six-year-old me thought it was hilarious and insisted on telling everyone
Re-heat and Re-Eat.
The Mantra of Leftovers.
Cute story.
This. If I’m poor and hungry, i cut off an intermediate slice, sniff and examine it, and then i eat it. But I’m not poor and hungry, so i don’t eat it. I might or might not bother to return it.
Good thing you didn’t just throw away the rest, then.
Or if it kills her, eat some and you can both rest in peace.
Or if it kills her, then don’t eat some and rest in the peace and quiet of newfound singlehood.
I was going for maximum ambiguity and pun potential there. Thanks for playing along.
mixdenny: “Did you eat a piece of this cake?”
mixdenny’s wife: “mmfmfmg…NO!”