Manteca! Manteca!
I love the way my hips shake ya.
Some say that you’re an evil grease,
But yer lip-smacking wonders never cease,
Con
Manteca! Manteca!
(Shake it baby, shake ya)
Manteca, she’s all natural,
And fries me most satisfactual.
Manteca, always in my dreams,
A slippery, sizzling Cocina Queen.
Manteca! Manteca!
I looove the way my hips shake ya.
Mi amigo pig sure got well fed,
Now he’s poppin’ and cracklin’ up from the dead.
Gracias para
Manteca! Manteca!
(Shake it baby, shake ya.)
When I lived in England I found that the chips from the fish and chip shop were much better than the ones I made at home. A friend told me it was because they used lard. She was so right. I haven’t made any in years but man they were good. Now you’ve got me thinking about going out and getting some lard and firing up the deep fryer.
When zenith says chips, what is meant is our French fries. (I’m sure that you already knew this, I’m just being pedantic and showing off my Bringlish.)
Do try and make some fries, or better yet, some home made potato chips.
Now go grease your wife and show her what a man you are.
Ingredients
[ul]
[li]1 pound dried pinto beans[/li][li]1 large white onion[/li][li]2 tablespoons lard or vegetable oil[/li][li]2 fresh epazote* sprigs or 1 teaspoon dried epazote, crumbled, if desired[/li][li]1 teaspoon salt[/li][li]6 bacon slices[/li][li]2 cups tomato salsa[/li][li]1/2 cup beer[/li][/ul]
Method
Pick over beans. In a large bowl soak beans in cold water to cover by 2 inches for 1 day.
Drain beans and halve onion. In a 5-quart kettle simmer beans, lard or oil, onion, and epazote, if using, in water to cover by 2 inches, covered, 45 minutes, or until beans are almost tender. Add salt and simmer beans until just tender, about 15 minutes more. Beans may be prepared up to this point 2 days ahead and chilled in cooking liquid, covered. Drain beans in a colander.
Chop bacon and in a large heavy skillet cook over moderate heat, stirring, until browned. Add beans, salsa, beer, and salt to taste and cook, stirring, until most of liquid evaporates, about 10 minutes. Beans may be made 2 hours ahead and kept at cool room temperature. Reheat beans before serving.
Epazote has a flavor similar to coriander. It is also called Mexican tea or wormseed. It is found dried in Mexican specialty stores and since it’s a carminative it works to reduce gas.
And, of course I forgot to say what I initially wanted.
Mama twarn’t much of a cook, but she did use lard oft’n when I was wee’un. A course, that’s prolly 'cuz we had kin in southern Illinois that wuz hog farmers. And there’s a pizza joint here in Toledo that still uses lard for their pie crusts. Delicious.
it ** is ** the best thing to make pie crust with. Mine were world famous for flakiness. drove my mom nuts. (her’s weren’t as flaky, tho better than my grandma’s).
My secrets?
Lard.
ICE cold water. (very, very little - less than 4 tablespoons in the recipe)
Ike—ordinarily, when you overhear your wife saying “I have no use for red meat anymore,” it’s time to call the marriage counselor or invest in some naughty magazines or videos.
But hold! You already have a perfectly good tub of lard sitting around the house! No, no, look away from the mirror, you know what I mean. Just send the kids away for a weekend, invite Ukuele Lady upstairs and show her that she might indeed have some use for red meat, if it also involves Lard.
I am referring, of course, to the idea of using lard for ski wax.
First of all, the wax is not there to preserve the skis or make them look nicer. (Well, maybe those wussy downhill skier types like their skis all nice and shiny. I wouldn’t know since I only hang out with real pinheads.) Nor is it, believe it or not, to make the skis slippery. The point of the wax is to give the skis the correct glide to friction ratio. Exactly what sort of wax is most beneficial depends on snow conditions and air temperature, and any decent ski shop will be able to provide a wax chart. Suffice it to say lard won’t be on it.
More importantly, lard will eventually go rancid. Stripping old wax off skis is a pain in the ass; stripping stinking old wax off skis would be akin to one of the labors of Hercules.
Some Norwegian Christmas cookies are supposed to be deep-fried in lard. Be nice to me and I’ll dig up the recipes.
You said your wife was getting the kids from swimming lessons. If she should happen to look in the crisco can you can tell her you bought it to grease the kids up to help them cut down on water resistance, increase their bouyancy, & keep them warm in the pool.
For a little variety try frying your chicken in butter. When I was in college, my mother would do this for my brother. She also put melted butter in cups, for dipping bits of chicken in. My brother said it was heavenly. I don’t know, she never made it on the weekends when I was home! (I shouldn’t complain. She always made my favorite, manicotti.)
As for the idea that lard is unhealthy, just wait. All this stuff goes in cycles. Remember when eggs were bad for you? Then it was ok to have them occasionally. Then someone “discoved” they’re actually pretty good for you. This is also starting to happen with red meat. And butter.
i believe it was julia childs who complained that macdonalds and burger king quit frying their fries in lard.
just to support all that “unhealthy” cooking out there, i used a smoked ham hock to flavour lentil soup i made last night. mmmmmm… some people like to save their bacon dripping (traditionally in an old coffee can under the sink) to fry things in, and i have to admit that i like to fry my eggs in bacon grease after i’ve fried up the bacon.
hushpuppies fried in lard are very, very good. pancakes cooked in butter are good, too. don’t get me wrong, i LOVE olive oil and use it in many recipes, but some things just taste better with congealed fats.
Unc: Ahhhhhhhh…beans! Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of beans? (I made red beans and rice last week; to avoid the hambone problem, I used chicken fat to saute the vegetables, and chicken broth instead of water to increase the flavor. It was…interesting. In a “Great-aunt Sophie meets Paul Prudhomme” way.) Now, with lard in hand, I can tackle any bean!
Frankd6: Thank you…I don’t know…{fretting}…maybe it should have been “I PURCHASED lard” ?
Tonight there’s fish soup on the menu. I don’t think I can work lard into that. Perhaps…a side dish of skillet cornbread?
