This past week, I was sitting on the ol’ davenport with my back up against an arm, and my legs on the cushions in front of me. A very relaxing and peaceful moment in an otherwise hectic day. But then I had to plug in a charger that was lying on the floor just behind me, so without really moving my buttocks far off the cushion, I twisted my torso to reach the charger, and in doing so, I also put a bit of weight on my ribs as I leaned back over the arm of the couch, mainly because my torso wouldn’t fully turn like I expected it to.
And now I’ve got bruised ribs. Can’t take a deep breath without grimacing in pain. Can’t cough or sneeze without grabbing my side. I gotta say, this kinda stuff didn’t happen when I was 25.
What embarrassing tales do you have of your body not doing the things you think it should do, resulting in some sort of discomfort or injury?
Some years ago I was coming down a steep trail in the mountains. I suddenly felt my knee give way and I fell down. Turns out I tore the ACL in my knee. It took a long time to heal (fortunately without surgery), and still isn’t right.
I say to people, when I was young it used to be I would fall down and break something. Now it’s that something breaks, and I fall down.
I did exactly this a couple of years ago, at a vacation condo rental that our D&D group usually rents for a long gaming weekend every fall. That hurt for a couple of weeks, to the point that I’d wondered if I’d given myself a hairline fracture. Then, a year or two later, at that same condo, I did the same stupid thing! facepalm
I don’t know how common it is, but I’ve heard of that happening sometimes with elderly people and broken hips–especially with ladies who have severe Osteoporosis. They’re walking along, their hip suddenly breaks, and then they fall down.
One of my dogs left a plush ball in the middle of the living room carpet. Thought I would kick it out of the way so no one would trip over it. With both feet on the ground, I pivoted my left foot 15 degrees and side kicked it across the rug. My left knee shrieked, Oh, no, you di’int! Ijit! and just about dumped me on my face. Ibuprofen to the rescue! Sorta.
Just about a year ago my knee went out at a friend’s home, as I was carrying a bowl of mac and cheese to their young son. Tore every ligament in my left knee and dislocated the kneecap (turned out to be a career ending injury. I never again played in the NFL). Didn’t spill a single bite of the Mac and cheese though. Priorities.
2 recent events bring back painful memories. Spun around in my chair at work to get something from a printer. Stood up as the chair was still in motion and felt a sharp pain in my left knee. Suffered a pretty bad knee strain, had to use crutches for a couple weeks to get around. What really pisses me off is my employer denied my on the job injury claim despite multiple witnesses.
The second was this past spring. Setting up some new patio furniture and was unbagging the cushions. Bent over to pick up a bag and my back immediately started to spasm. I made it to my living room floor and couldn’t move anymore. I laid in pain for over an hour waiting for my wife, she was outside and couldn’t hear me hollering. She finally came in and helped me to our bed. Ruined a week off with pay at the start of the Covid shutdown.
Similar to racer72’s second tale of woe, I bent over to pick up a piece of paper off the floor and put out my back. Walking (er, hobbling is more like it I guess) bent over caused me to pull a muscle in my shoulder, which took about a month to resolve. Yeah, that sucked.
About a year ago, I was walking along just having a great time looking at the flowers and stuff when a wall jumped out in front of my hand. Usually when walls move, I just say “Owie” and move on. This time, I broke a bone in my hand and ended up in a cast for a month. My Carnegie Hall days were over forever.
For me it’s not that I get hurt more, or any less for that matter, it’s that it takes longer to heal.
Aches and pains are just part of my job from time to time. They usually last a day or two. These days it might be a week or two for me.
I broke a tooth a few years ago, chewing something insubstantial…it was ready to go, of course. Mrs. L told me that an acquaintance broke one eating scrambled eggs.
A few years ago, Mrs. L and I went bowling quite regularly. My style involves attempting to turn the pins into powder. Proud moment: there was a place we visited that had cameras that replayed the moment when the ball arrived. Mine flew past too fast—the camera picked up the very end of the action.
We’d bowl six games, call it a night, and come home. That was about twice a week.
Short story long, we got away from bowling and found other things to do but later, I had right shoulder pain. My description makes the diagnosis more transparent than it was to either of us at the time, but I’m sure flinging a 14 pound ball as hard as you can, repeatedly, can stress the right shoulder. I’d go through a normal day without complaint but at bed time the pain came. It wasn’t horrible, but bad enough I couldn’t fall asleep for a couple hours. And I wondered what to do if it got worse.
After refraining* from bowling for a few years…it’s fine. So even though we may have earned a lot of this, that’s not to say it’s always irreversible.
*If we win the lottery we may build our personal bowling alley. But we got tired of dealing with teenyboppers on the lanes.
I was sitting in a rather cramped position in the back of a friend’s car. I sneezed - oh the pain in my back!!! Worst of all, I was in my 20s at the time! In my much older age, I’m very back-aware. but I have a tendency to whack my arms on things (doorknobs, table edges, branches, frankly, anything stationary) and I wind up with bruises and cuts. It looks like someone beats me, but, no, just me interacting with my environment.
Sitting on the toilet early Saturday morning. Leaned forward to wipe my ass and threw out my back. I was in pain all weekend. Just had hand surgery, so I took some of those pain meds to calm things down. Didn’t work. Literally the whole weekend was ruined because I leaned forward on the toilet–I didn’t even get far enough forward to twist my back to reach around.
“Just had hand surgery” might also imply that you had to use slightly different moves to wipe than you’re use to… so maybe you can weasel out of blaming this on aging!!
I have a bulging disk in my back. Bothers me if I sleep too long - dammit!! I always know when I’m on the cusp of being well-rested and I wake up because my back is screaming at me. I’ve also learned that if I hop onto the couch and put my feet up so I can lean against the well-padded arm, I can’t do that too vigorously or I’ll hurt that part of my back. Which I can also injure in a bad coughing jag.
I was sitting at the computer several years ago and I, too, sneezed. I thought I had broken a rib, the pain was so sudden and intense. It was eventually diagnosed as a muscle strain, but I wore a support brace for over a month before it healed. I’ve sneezed at the computer many times before and after with no injury, so I don’t know what was so different that one time.