Dead Paul Connoisseurs should try to locate a copy of THE WALRUS WAS PAUL, an incredibly stupid book by R. Gary Patterson, published for some reason by Fireside Books.
Because of the loopiness of the subject mater, however, “incredibly stupid” is the most fun way to go. Patterson indulges in some truly memorable leaping-to-conclusions and manic swings of imagination (“Paul’s not wearing a HAT on the cover of HELP! He’s DEAD!!!” “Paul’s sitting in a trunk on the cover of YESTERDAY AND TODAY! If you turned it on its side…it would look like a COFFIN!!!”).
– Officer Uke of the Ontario Police Department, waiting for someone to catch the reference
Excellent! Only thirteen minutes. My hat’s off to you again, asey.
(Moe: the original SGT. PEPPER LP had fold-out art of the four Beatles wearing their shiny colorful band uniforms, and you could see a patch on Paul’s sleeve that read OPD. The Conspiracy Theorists pounced on this as an acronym of “Officially Pronounced Dead.” The cynics pointed out that the patch also carried the symbol of the Ontario Police Department, duh.)
I once had a tape of a radio program where they went over all of the various “Paul is dead” clues. By the end of the program, I fully expected them to start counting the coincidences between Paul’s death and Lincoln’s assassination.
“Paul died on a Wednesday in 1965; Lincoln was assassinated on a Wednesday in 1865.”
Yeah, but, but- the patch was black! The color of death in every country but India! And Paul was sitting in a semi-fetal position, which is how they bury the dead in India! Okay, that means they’re putting in clues from completely contradictory cultures, but they were so devious that way!
And how do you explain Paul’s back being turned on the back of the LP? Think about this- the Beatles were all about LOVE, but if you apply the letters L O V and E to each of them, Paul becomes O, but since his back was turned, he rejects O, which is appropriate because he was the only Beatle without an O in his name! I have no idea what this means, but a friend told me this in absolute conviction that it meant the Beatles hid messages in their album cover art.
Well, because that wasn’t Paul. That was their Roadie, Mal (Can’t remember his last name) Paul was with his GF Jane, doing God knows what, during that photoshoot, so they put Mal in the suit and turned him around. I guess they needed an extra pic.
I know, sounds like another Beatles myth, but I think I read it in Many Years from Now: When I’m 64, by somebody I can’t remember with help from Paul McCartney.
Did you know that “walrus” is the word for “corpse” in Latin, so since Paul is wearing the Walrus outfit in MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR, it means Paul is dead?
(My older sister was in college in 1969, so this is straight from god’s mouth to my ears…nobody on ANY U.S. campus did ANYTHING in September-October 1969 except roll joints and play Beatles records backwards. Wonder how the profs dealt with that?)
Except that “walrus” is NOT the Latin word for corpse, and it was John in the Walrus suit! Those tricky Liverpool fuckers!
I think the term you want is “filthy scousers.” And I’m a little disappointed you breezed right past my reference to the cover of Abbey Road. (Paul is barefoot, yet another clue that he was dead and had secretly been replaced with Folger’s Crystals.)
Let’s also not forget the infamous “Black Album,” which came with photographs of the other Beatles wearing butchers’ aprons, stabbing Paul and shoving him out a window. Oh, wait…that might have been the Rutles.
For me, the most compelling evidence was the song “Glass Onion” I hear a glass onion is some sort of glass coffin,“Looking through the bent back tulips to see how the other half live” (The other half is obviously dead),and the song is FULL of Macca references:
“here’s another clue for you all, the walrus was Paul”
“Lady Madonna trying to make ends meet”
“I told you about the Fool on the Hill. I tell you man, he’s living there still”
“Fixing a hole in the ocean”
All these songs are Paul’s. John didn’t even help write them.
So there ya go. According to Glass Onion Paul is dead.
One of the favorite “clues” I’ve heard is from Yellow Submarine. Towards the end of the sound effects bridge (just before a voice yells “Captain! Captain!”) you can hear a muffled voice in the background. I read a theory that the voice is actually saying, “Paul’s a queer! Paul’s a queer!” The idea being that The Beatles wanted to start a rumor that Paul was a homosexual, which would hurt his public image, and then the news that he was actually dead wouldn’t be taken so hard.
Mal (the roadie’s) last name was/is Evans (no rumor that he mysteriously died).
I used to have a subscription to a Beatles Fanzine, Strawberry Fields Forever. They did an entire issue on Paul’s death, which creeped me and my friends out when I was in junior high. I still have it at home. I’ll have to dig it out and check out some more clues.
Paul will likely outlive them all–unless, of course, he’s dead. "She said, I know what it’s like to be dead…)
Mal Evans died back in the early 70’s in LA. The Beatles had broken up, he lost his job, he seperated from his wife, and was pretty depressed. He was threatening to kill himself, and he had a toy gun. His GF called the cops, and when they came in, he pointed the toy gun at them. They shot him. Pretty sad and tragic.
No no no, you got it all wrong. John was the queer one. Remember that lil trip he took with Brain Epstein to Spain in '62? Everybody knows that Epstein was gay, he probably whisked John away to have a secret affair with him. Duh!
You realize, of course, that Paul portrays the Barefoot Corpse in that line-up, and George is the Gravedigger, and John is the Priest, and Ringo is the Undertaker? And the Volkswagen in the background has the license plate that reads 28IF…and Paul would have been 28 IF he had lived? And if you hold the sleeve at a funny angle, a skull appears in the dappled shade just behind the girl in the blue minidress? And if you connect up those white dots on the wall, it makes a “3,” the number of remaining Beatles?
– Uke, who was one morbid lil’ eight-year old in 1969, and who’s STILL waiting for someone to catch the “Be at Leso” reference in his earlier post
[QUOTE
– Uke, who was one morbid lil’ eight-year old in 1969, and who’s STILL waiting for someone to catch the “Be at Leso” reference in his earlier post **[/QUOTE]
Well, I’m not sure what exactly it is, from “yellow submarine” perhaps? But I certainly see “Beatles o” which has got to be part of it.
BTW, I just want you all to know that there was actually a point in my life when I considered myself knowledgeable about the Beatles. Boy do I feel dumb.
Geez, Uke, I thought you were talking about next year’s DopeFest in Leso, where we’re gathering together to dance on Paul’s grave. I plan to go with Victor Spinetti and Mia Farrow’s sister, Prudence.
Moe, get yourself a copy of Sgt Pepper’s and you can make up your own clues! And don’t pay too much attention to Ike - he’s been dead since 1971.
It’s TRUE! If you play “Hush My Mouth If I Ain’t Going South” backwards at 45 rpm, you can distinctly hear me playing an F#m7 chord, which was the key of the “Funeral March” movement in Mahler’s first symphony!
“Be at Leso” comes from the SGT PEPPER cover…notice the circular red wreath after the “s” in BEATLES spelled out in flowers? That’s an “O”! “Leso” is a tiny Greek island where John planned to bury Paul’s body! And if you hold a pocket mirror up to the bass drum, it gives the date of the interrment, after which the remaining Beatles planned to hold a HUGE wake with lots of drugs and sex for those college sophomores clever enough to tumble to the entire plot and book their plane tickets!
Aseymayo, may I have the first tango? I’ll be the guy in the white tails, wearing the black boutonierre.