When I was a kid, Christmas toys came loosely packaged in a cardboard or metal box (anybody remember the metal boxes for crayons?). You opened up the top and dumped out the booty. No muss, no fuss.
Now I’ve spent most of the morning gouging my hand trying to open inpenetrable clamshell packages, every goddamn tiny piece of every toy is minutely wired to the packages by these physics defying plastic wires that always twist tighter, no matter what direction you twist them in, Some parts are held in place by those plastic handcuff things with the ratcheted teeth which appear to have been designed to be able to opened with nothing but a steak knife.
The worst is the electronic drum kit that is not just wired but screwed to the packaging with metal screws. Not just metal screws, but the really tiny ones that you can’t use a regular screwdriver on, but you have to go find an eyeglasses repair kit, or (as I did) end up using the tip of the same fucking steak knife and stripping the shit out of the crossheads. Then the battery compartments all have the same tiny screws.
Why do toy manufacturers package this crap like this? I wish they’d go back to the simple cardboard boxes, or better yet, those awesome old metal boxes with the simple pop-off lid. How the fuck are you supposed to open this shit? Is there a really simple method of getting into a clamshell package that I’ve just never been clued into?
Children aren’t supposed to grow up with memories of daddy on Chritmas morning trying to gnaw his way into a package of Barbie accessories, saying “open up, you fucking cocksucker, I’ll fucking melt you.”