I, sac of carrion pus,
insofar as pi occur,
can sour (if prosaic).
Up for CIA Narcosis,
I - curio ass of PR - can
spoof an air circus.
“A fair spoon circus,”
I(so crap as fur) coin;
“Or a spin of a circus.”
I can focus Paris, or
I can fur Picasso, or
I can cop for Russia.
I had a wart on my foot. Then I registered and it’s gone.
quote:
Originally posted by Scorpio “Africanus”
Think about it, why do you idolize this man? You believe in this all mighty omnipotent god who seems to know everything about nothing. That’s just it, it’s nothing. His work is not of importance. This is a big farce in my eyes.
**
Genesis 1
1 In the beginning Cecil created the Straight and the Dope.
2 And the Internet was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the web. And the Spirit of Cecil moved upon
the face of the Internet.
3 And Cecil said, Let there be Dope: and there was Dope.
4 And Cecil saw the Dope, that it was Straight: and Cecil divided the Straight Dope from the spin.
5 And Cecil called the Straight Dope fact, and the spin he called opinion. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
6 And Cecil said, Let there be a website in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the forums from the forums.
7 And Cecil made the website, and divided the columns which were current from the columns which were archived: and it was so.
8 And Cecil called the website www.straightdope.com. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
9 And Cecil said, Let the messages under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the forums appear: and it was so.
10 And Cecil called the forums Boards; and the gathering together of the messages called he posts: and Cecil saw that it was good.
11 And Cecil said, Let the boards bring forth postings, the Great Debates yielding arguments, and the BBQ Pit yielding flames after his kind, whose f-word is in itself, upon the forums: and it was so.
12 And the Great Debates brought forth arguments about creationism, and flames yielding cussing after his kind, and the MPSIMS yielding entertaining nonsense, whose raves was in itself, after his kind: and Cecil saw that it was good.
13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14 And Cecil said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the website to divide the morons from the good posters; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for debates, and for opinions:
15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the website to give light upon the Dope: and it was so.
16 And Cecil made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the cites also.
17 And Cecil set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the good postings from the jerks: and Cecil saw that it was good.
19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20 And Cecil said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the posting creature that hath life, and trolls that may live under the bridges in the open firmament of the Dope.
21 And Cecil created great hamsters, and every living Doper that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged newbie after his kind: and Cecil saw that it was good.
22 And Cecil blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the servers in Chicago, and let messages multiply in the Dope.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24 And Cecil said, Let the Dope bring forth the living creature after his kind, Polycarp, and Esprix, and creeping thing, and sock puppet of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25 And Cecil made the sock puppet of the earth after his kind, and OpalCat after her kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the web after his kind: and Cecil saw that it was good.
26 And Cecil said, Let us make moderator in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the Stuff of the Mundane and Pointless, and over the Opinons of the Humble, and over the BBQ Pit, and over all the Dope, and over every posting thing that posteth upon the Dope.
27 So Cecil created moderator in his own image, in the image of Cecil created he him; manhattan and Lynne Bodoni created he them.
28 And Cecil blessed them, and Cecil said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the server, and subdue it: and have dominion over the Questions of the General, and over the rants of the Pit, and over every living poster that posteth upon the Dope.
29 And Cecil said, Behold, I have given you every Google bearing cite, which is upon the face of all the Internet, and every URL, in the which is the fruit of a search yielding hits; to you it shall be for meat.
30 And to every poster of the Dope, and to every troll of the bridge, and to every thing that posteth upon the Dope, wherein there is life, I have given every software for spellchecking: and it was so.
31 And Cecil saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
1 Thus the Internet and the Dope were finished, and all the host of them.
2 And on the seventh day Cecil ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.
3 And Cecil blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which Cecil created and made.
4 These are the generations of the Internet and of the Dope when they were created, in the day that the Uncle Cecil made the Dope and the Internet.**
Regards,
Shodan
You all know whats really bad? I’ve NEVER read any of his work. Until my mother gave me the link to this site I didn’t even know he EXISTED. I love posting on here because it’s one of the ONLY places I can find intelligent conversation and entertainment at the same time. (wondering if now would be the right time to go to the book store…)
So mote it be, Shodan. 
Esprix
Yea verily, Esprix.
I thought of starting an “Ask the Guy Who is Having a Slow Day at Work” thread, but that would be derivative.
Regards,
Shodan
Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to distribute your literature in the airport.
I already do. Don’t you?
OK, as long as I get 10%, but before you shave your head -
To start this off right, we need the usual prerequisites. No problem on the three wise men, but where the heck can we find a virgin on the SDMB?
If you go off and start the search, and SimonX can be Jack Chick and begin drawing some vaguely creepy cartoons calling all the other messageboards the Whore of Babylon, Esprix can design the liturgical garb, Polycarp can be our patron saint, and I will be designing some plausible explanations for why the Internet is really less than six thousand years old and all those fossils really died during the server crash. (“There ARE no transitional websites!”)
If we play our cards right, we can make a nice living off this until it all falls apart in doctrinal differences over Once Banned, Always Banned, whether Ed Zotti is of the nature of Cecil or simply one of his emanations, and how many moderators can dance on the head of a pin.
Regards,
Shodan
First thing I need to do is pick out some false doctrines to rail against. Where would Chick be w/o false doctrines?
Let’s see what we have available…
I recommend the Java Death Cookie, or the films of Ed Wood.
Regards,
Shodan
Java Death Cookie or Jawa Death Cookie?
What would the Wookies eat?:dubious:
All I have to say is
“'Tis better to administrate in Hell
than post it Heaven.”
Sorry.
I confess.
I am Cecil.
:smack: “in Heaven!” :smack:
- Ever thought that Cecil is posting here with a pseudo?
- Perhaps Zotti is Cecil?
I guess I never read a single Cecil column, I stumbled into this forum a couple of months ago via google (!!). But this thread made me curious…
Welcom to th eSDMB flonks.
The Virgin, Shodan?
Wouldn’t that be Ryan Liam?
::d&r::