I would choose to poop on:
thinksnow
Busta Rib
jr8
ckryder
Scupper
Le Sang
Inky
and
Eutychus55
All of them would make me very, very, very sorry, but I’d laugh my ass off the whole time.
Well, Oldscratch just pointed out that I got mentioned in here, and I have to say, I’m flattered.
And vanilla, point taken 
I forgive you! Honest!
How could anyone deny our relation to primates after reading this thread?
Easily blocked with a cork in your ass or the buttplug-o-matic.
What? Oh, sorry, wrong thread. Hey, while I’m down here…nice ass, maggy!
thinksnow: The why I heard it was Sid Vicious threw up on a groupie (and serves her right! Maybe she should’ve had better taste).
I also heard something (help me out dopers) about Sam Kinison pooping whilst in bed with Jessica Hahn.
Finally! A fitting use for a comprehensive package of gun control legislation.
Flymaster, awwww I forgive you(what for, I don’t know).
But how about a life size chocolate sculpture of Mr. Nader?
Then I could have my candidate and eat him too…
Heh…I was forgiving you for pooping on me sneakily. I guess you’d be forgiving me for my anti-Nader stance around election time, if you’d be that kind
Of course! {{{{{{{{{Flymaster}}}}}}}}}}
but its not like Ralph had any effect on the election or anything…
BTW< I would never poop on anyone, even for money.
Before anyone mentions my name as a poop worthy recipient, entertain this little scenario.
Once upon a time, long long ago, a young Dinsdale was attending law school. He had a big yellow mutt named Bowser, but little furniture, and slept on a mattress on the floor. In the middle of one night, young Dinsdale had a strange dream – something about beautiful Tahitian girls dancing on his chest. He slowly roused himself from his pleasant slumber, and realized that instead of comely Tahitian lasses, the feet on his chest belonged to Bowser, and Dinsdale found himself looking straight into said beast’s flexing asshole as he deposited a massive dump on his owner’s chest.
To this day I cannot understand it. The multiple and cosmic leaps that went from waking me up to go out, to crapping in my room, to crapping on my bed, to actually crapping on ME!!!
Realize, however, that before the sun had set that day, Bowser had no balls. Moreover, I searched high and low for the cheapest Vet to act as the instrument of my vengeance (tho certain shops hung up when I asked if they would use dull, rusty implements and forego anesthaesia.)
So before you express a desire to poop on me, realize that you are not alone, but bear in mind the fate of the last creature that actually acted on that impulse.
I poop on your hypocrisy toward work ethic. While I don’t think people should copy homework from one another, I think it is no worse than you spending 90% of a two hour class reading from the book. And copying from said book. With illegible handwriting and a thick accent. (I have nothing against the last two points actually, since its in the book he doesn’t have to be understandable)
I relieve myself on your insistance that we are “lucky our prof follows the book” rather than leading us through problem solving. If you were an idiot who couldnt teach problem solving I might forgive you. I’ve been in your office when you got 15 mystified kids to work through three problems quickly and with great understanding of the concepts involved. Spewing greek symbols and calling them “important concepts” is not only beneath you it is denying your talent to us, your students. Teach us. You can, you are simply refusing to.
I open my asshole and dump on your educational outlook. Design paramaters are not “problems without enough standard equations”. Safety margins are not “percentages to add to force”. Design is the heart and soul of engineering, the creative spark that turns the equations into what combats the darkness. Parameters are not an opportunity to bemoan the lack of precise formulas in the world. They are the opportunity to understand the process, the problems, and reality. The world doesn’t always have your equations and how dare you turn out engineers who can’t face reality? Safety margins are our humility, our concern for the well being of man, they are our bow to our own limitations in examining the problem. Our fuck up factor. We need to see that we are human and humans don’t always see everything. How dare you decide that it is merely another number to stuff into your beloved equations? That is life and death, pride and humility, you shallow prick.
Don’t whimper at us that we can’t solve problems when all you have handed us are symbols. Especially when you have the skill and talent to show us so much more.
Engineering is the field that combats the roughness of existance, not to limit it into your damn boxes, but to free humanity to create, understand, and grow.
I will never be able to create enough excrement to return the depressing pile of shit you have given me so far this term. I weep for every one of your students that believes you.
Scylla: *What I would do is eat a Mcdonald’s happy meal. the next day I would ask Jshore what the externalized costs of a McDonald’s happy meal were. While he was busy calculating, and distracted, I would “Externalize” it on his keyboard while he types. *
Well Scylla, by this time jshore has doubtless gotten quite used to having to slog through your shit in the process of creating his intelligent and reasoned posts. Having it on the keyboard instead of in the thread would at least make for some variety. 
kimstu:
Glad you approve of my actions
Many years ago, a friend explained the classic method to me :
- Place poop in paper bag.
- Place bag on doorstep of victim.
- Set fire to bag.
- Knock on door.
- Run.
Can I poop on JDT. And then, I’m gonna take a massive shit on the little troll/hacker that’s plagueing us at Customer’s Suck. (Unfortunately, his ISP won’t do jackshit!)
That would make a great sig. It’d also make a surreal :wally Dopefest button slogan!
From Monty Python’s Norwegian/English phrasebook.
Indicative mood:
I poop on you sneakily.
Jeg skriket for du snike.
Expective mood:
I desire to poop on you sneakily.
Jeg ønske å skriket for du snike.
Interrogative mood:
Do you desire to poop on him sneakily?
Vil du ønske å skriket for seg snike?
Subjunctive mood:
If I poop on him sneakily, he will moan.
Hvis Jeg skriket for seg snike, han ville stønn.
I would certainly never poop on anyone who says
Hi- new here, so not witty yet-
to kind of come around in a full circle- i have this cat…before she was my cat, whe was the neighbors cat. but she would come in our house, hiss at me and the dogs and my cat, and go upstairs and eat all his catfood. Then come back down, hiss at us all again in reverse order, and leave.
In the summer I left a window open so my cat could come and go as he pleased.
she came in one night (i know it was her) and i was sleeping downstairs on the couch- getting out of the heat. i was sleeping on my side. she hadda climb up on me and balance for gods sake.
i woke up with a pile of turds on me, and a couple that had rolled off, snugly nestled next to my (now) cringing belly.
feline fecalphilia indeed…
now i’m wondering why i let her sleep on me these days…
Just thought I’d point out the dangers of throwing out such addictive ideas into the meme pool…
From today’s Ananova…
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_215916.html
People just try to take these things too far.