In an earlier thread I discussed my infant daughter’s bizarre desire to poop on the cat while it slept unknowingly.
My wife and I laughed so hard when it happened that she has yearned for a repeat performance (the cat doesn’t think it’s funny.)
Fortunately we succeeded in dissuading my daughter from this before Fecalphelia could become an obsession.
I do have to confess though that sneaking up on somebody, and pooping on them unawares is oddly attractive. High humor? Perhaps.
I came up with the idea for this thread, but wasn’t sure how (or if) to proceed.
Pooping on somebody as a practical joke is pretty extreme, and should only be done judiciously.
One must not poop out of hatred, or dislike. Indeed, pooping on somebody is a compliment, as you are assuming that they have the good humor and presence of mind to accept the joke. It is also a matter of trust. If you poop on somebody as a practical joke. You know they are going to retaliate. You are trusting them not to punch you in the face and not to permanently damage you when they return the favor, and you suffer their practical joke.
So, with such stipulations in place, What SDMB poster would you most like to poop on? Why? How would you do it?
What Moderator would you most like to poop on? Why? How would you do it?
If by chance you should be pooped on in this thread, how would you retaliate (only answer this if somebody poops on you?)
I’ll go first.
Jshore and I are the veterans of many spirited arguments. Though the arguments have often gotten heated, I always sensed a subtle goodwill and humor in his posts. I’ve enjoyed our discussion immensely. However, he has this thing about externalized costs, and will run off in a tangent on this at the slightest provocation.
What I would do is eat a Mcdonald’s happy meal. the next day I would ask Jshore what the externalized costs of a McDonald’s happy meal were. While he was busy calculating, and distracted, I would “Externalize” it on his keyboard while he types.
Moderators are a different story. One senses that such worthies as DavidB, and Manhatten always have their guard up for this kind of thing, as they have a lot of experience with people trying to shit on them. It would not be easy to do, and I would seriously sweat the payback.
Tveblen though is pretty good natured, and gets along with and is admired by all. He would be easy meat. Plus, I can rationalize that I’m doing him a favor. Now that he’s a mod, he’s gonna have to deal with crap all the time. I will of course employ the classic “fire-poop.” I will poop in a paper bag, and lay the bag at his front door. I will then light the bag on fire, ring his doorbell, and run. When he opens the door, he’ll see the fire and stamp it out. Poop Foot!!!
Heh. heh. heh.
