devilsknew, Hilarious post! Thank you for the sarcasm this morning. I needed it.
“Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.” - Terry Pratchett
A girlfriend of mine calls hers the “mustn’ttouchit” . It seems her mom used it in reference to her girly bits. Once she told us the story, it sort of caught on. Another friend calls hers the cricket.
I’ve been reading this thread and trying to keep an open mind, because I like my girlparts and am very comfortable with them and pleased about the efficient way they go about their business, but…
All I can think of is hedgehog.
And we all know the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
“Yoni” makes me think both of yoghurt and fungi, so it’s not the word I would choose.
The introduction to the “Vagina Monologues” says that the kids today want to call it their “power bundle” which makes me think of a big bunch of electrical flexes.
The Irish word “gee” (it’s not very polite) makes me think of clarified butter (ghee), so I don’t use it either.
I’m not happy with any of the words, but I’ll use whichever term seems appropriate at the time. Just like I do for male genitalia.
Mostly I’ll use “me” though.
In the context in which I most often need to talk about my genitalia “touch me”, “lick me”, “fuck me harder”, “come inside me” etc, it’s perfectly obvious what I mean.
Listen, I don’t know what you’re doing later, but…
I kid! 
“The Eye that Weeps Most when Best Pleas’d”* is too long, but definitely has pizzazz.
*Thank you, Erica Jong.
Why not call it Mike, as in “Mike Hunt”?
Attack the pseudo all you want, for all I care. I prefer genuine feminism. I don’t know what you mean by vaguely spiritual. My feminism is definitely spiritual.