Without offending any women. It seems all the slang words are offensive, and I need to think of a cute way of calling my girlfriend’s vagina.
Any suggestions will be much appreciated, I might get her to stop calling me a bastard if you guys/gals could help me out.
Naughty bits? I just find it kind of silly.
Um…how about-womanhood?
How about, “The Fertile Crescent”?
Or is that too Mesopotamian for you?
I like Naughty Bits, but that might piss her off. Try using Flower. That is what I use, and my wife stopped hitting me.
the lower lips?
the frontal buns (for your “hot dog,” and opposed to the rear buns, or ass)?
how about “her juicy jane”?
Chaucer used “Belle Chose” (Pretty Thing) and “Quondam” (Whatever) in The Canterbury Tales. Scrabble Players and SCA people know of “quim”, which sounds downright proper. Readers of the Aabian Nights now of “The Sesame Seed” and “The Kham of Abu Mansour”. And The Perfumed Garden of he Sheikh Nefzaoui lists an entire chapter full of alternates. ossiby your female friends will find these too literary.
snatchy-watchy?
Miss Kitty?
Privates? Private Parts?
Box? (or better yet…)
mmBOXhh?? (pronounced roughly “mmmBOX-ah!”)
Queynt?
“Your Orifice”?
“Your Article”? (In the 1800’s, “article” caught on as a euphemism for “cunt” which was much too rude to say.)
[Hey, the OP said “all the slang words”–I must try.]
Seriously, if all else fails, agree on a pet name to use around her, and if you have to talk to a physician about it, say “vagina”
Just do what I do, use sign language. Put your thumbs together & you index fingers together & make a kinda of heart with them, that is sign for vagina. There ya are. Words need not be used to convey such a gentle thing. Besides, your lady probably laugh.
Q: What’s even better than seeing a woman wrestle?
A: Seeing her box.
Do you think she’d be offended by ‘pussy’? I mean it’s dirty, but not terribly offensive (at least I’ve never offended my friends by using the term to refer to the naughty bits). Of course I have some damn sick friends. 
Snappin’ gyro
Taco of love
Bearded clam
Maybe that’s one too many food references…
Bob.
hair pie 
I’m don’t mind hearing either “pussy” or “cunt” from my SO (if I had one). Vagina is too clinical, and the term I expect my doctor to use, not my lover. If someone referred to me with either one of those terms, there would be trouble.
For that matter how bout “squib”?? …kind of has a fishy tang to it.
I’d walk a mile for a vertical smile
Reminds me of an old joke:
Q. Name three Chicago streets that rhyme with vagina?
A. Paulina, Melvina, and Lunt. :eek:
pooontang
One of my best friends refers to it as her peach.
I usually just call it “my stuff”.
[sub]or fucker. fucker works for me…[/sub]
Oops, wrong thread.
I really, really have always liked pussy. But I don’t say it lightly. I just like it. It’s cute, it’s friendly, as mentioned, when I’m in the mood, it’s very dirty. It’s just orally satisfying. (Everybody’s laughing now, right? Yeah, yeah…)
Cunt is kinda good too, when I’m in a kinda s&m mood- it’s dirty, but it’s kinda curt too, not as friendly as pussy.
I never say the ‘v’ word if I can help it. Too, um, machine-y or something…
Another one I’ve heard used but never have used myself comes from a local band- it’s the right imagery- they’re jazzy, swingy, upbeat…you get the idea- it’s
Little Elmo and the Mambo Kings…
:walkin away, rolling the phrase “frontal buns” around in his mouth to see what he thinks of it…: