I do not want my family to be an episode of Gerry Springer.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am truly sorry if I have chosen the wrong forum for this thread. Please, mods, move it if necessary. I have looked at the guidelines, and I am just not sure whether here or the Pit is the place. My husband’s family has been struggling for 2 years now; there are rifts in what was a seriously happy family; my husband has lost a good friend (George) and his depression has been a monster since this all started.

I curse my husband’s 30yo niece “Gertie” for callously manipulating her younger cousin “Belle” into an affair with Gertie’s husband “George”, through playing on the hero-worshipping emotions and lack of sense of a 16yo girl-woman, together with a hearty helping of alcohol, marijuana and parties to make her feel grown up. This allowed Gertie to pursue her own extramarital affair.

I curse George for thinking with his dick, and conspiring with Gertie to allow him to slake his lust at the expense of a vulnerable young woman.

I curse Gertie’s mother (SIL) for knowing about this before it was exposed, and scheming with Gertie to try to make Gertie look like a shining innocent.

I curse Gertie and SIL for using an excuse to get my husband to visit the house when they knew George and Belle were home alone, so he could discover them.

I curse Gertie’s father (BIL) because his belief- in the face of all subsequent evidence – that Gertie is entirely innocent, and her marriage was wrecked by Belle, has lead him to bluster and threaten and alienate Gertie’s mother “Hilda” and father “Bert”, my husband and I, and assorted other family members.

I curse the sorrow and anger and stress that led to my husband’s other sister having a sudden cardiac event and dying despite her husband and her 17yo son giving her CPR for 25 minutes until paramedics arrived.

I curse all of we family members who did not see a problem; who knew Belle had a crush on George, but were reassured by Gertie that George was just “letting her down carefully” because ”we know she can be emotional and vulnerable”.

And I curse myself because, to my sorrow and shame, deep down inside I pit Belle for not saying NO to an affair with a married man…

2

You can’t control other people. Work on your relationship with your husband, detach with love from the rest of your family, and stay in your own lane.

3

Thanks Qadgop; I like the imagery of staying in my own lane. We have mostly drawn back - we still see Hilda and Bert and their girls, and support Belle. We have not been to a family get together for most of the two years - it is just too much. We will get there. My husband said ages ago that nothing gave him joy anymore; but about 6 months ago he said he finally feels like one day he will again, so that is a good sign. I guess I just needed to write it down, as this is the first time I have done so.

4

Wait - this part is confusing.

Because wasn’t Gertie’s mother - who must be your husband’s sister, right - helping Gertie make Belle look bad (although, honestly, Belle does look pretty bad all on her own)? Are Hilda and Bert your parents in law?

Maybe you should have a destination Thanksgiving this year.

5

:smack: Yep, you are correct Merneith - he has threatened **Belle’s ** parents Hilda and Bert.

BIL is my husband’s brother. Hilda is my husband’s surviving sister. Sorry- using fake names, and I got *myself * confused…

Not in USA, so no Thanksgiving for us. My husband and I have been spending Christmas alone.

2am my time, going to try getting some sleep.