Too true. That’s why my husband and I gave ourselves 15 years. I hope that will be enough.
We didn’t want to know, and I don’t think my doctor would have done an ultrasound to find out anyway. In fact, I never had one done and that was fine by me. Just because a technology exists doesn’t mean I have to take advantage of it.
Of course, this could just be the old grouch in me talking…
I didn’t need to find out. I knew Ivyboy was going to be a boy and that Ivygirl was going to be a girl. I had a sense, and both times I was right.
Ivylad was arguing with me when I was pregnant with Ivyboy, asking me, “But what if it’s a girl?” I tried to explain that there was no way, just like there was no way the sun was going to set in the east. It was physically impossible.
And I was right. Now, you could argue my odds were 50/50, but I had a certainty of the gender of my children while I was pregnant, so I didn’t need the ultrasound. I just knew.
I was advised to have ultrasound due to being what the medical profession, with characteristic delicacy, refers to as an “Elderly Prima Gravida.” We skipped the amniocentesis, though.
While I don’t think I’ll be “shattered,” I have decided relatively recently that I will want to find out the sex before birth. I really want to have a girl, especially for my first child. I don’t really know why, but I do. (I will, of course, love and be happy to have a child at all… I just want a girl first.) So I’d like to find out late-ish in the pregnancy, if possible (7 months or so), so that I will have time to adjust if I’m having a boy. I would much rather be disappointed (and have time to get over it) before the child’s birth than at the child’s birth. I mean, it seems like parenthood is (or can be) so full of guilt and stuff anyway; I would have a hard time getting over being disappointed upon hearing my child’s cry and then, “It’s a boy!”
Plus, I’ll need to know at some point if I need to knit frilly things or not. Frills take extra time. 
Count me among those who are puzzled by expectant parents who get their hearts set on one sex or the other. It seems surprisingly common, and yet almost impossible to explain rationally. (I’m not talking about preference, but about the idea that “Of couse it’s going to be a girl - how could you be so obnoxious/deluded/venal as to suggest otherwise?”)
I had a cow-orker once who took this to a remarkable degree - she got seriously upset with anyone who failed to fall in with her notion that it had to be a girl. When it turned out a boy, she held grudges against those who’d entertained this possibility, as if they were somehow responsible for the derangement of her plans.
I didn’t want to find out, wanted one of life’s few surprises. I became convinced during my pregnancy that I was having a girl. Well, it was a boy and I was bitterly, bitterly disappointed for quite awile. I don’t know if finding out would have helped. Maybe I would have at least gotten used to it by the time he was born.
I dig him now though. He’s a pretty macho little dude, but will help me pick out shoes and go to the hairdresser with me so he can flirt with the receptionist.
I’m pregnant with my fourth and this is my fourth time round not knowing the sex of the baby.
-think baby deserves some time without gender expectations.
-feels more “natural”
-don’t want to deal with wrong information problem
-makes it harder for MIL to start flooding me with baby clothes early
Honestly, I don’t know if I would want to know (in the hypothetical, far-in-the-future situation where I’d be doing the baby thing). My curiosity would probably get the better of me, though, so even if I made the “don’t tell me” decision, it would never stick.
I’d like to be a parent one day…
and while waiting for the kid to show up, I’d want to know if it was healthy (I can easily see driving my doctor nuts over “so, the test results… shouldn’t we get more of them? Just to make sure. How long has that lab been in business anyway?”) but, not that.
No real reason why - I just don’t want to know.
I won’t want to know.
I like some surprises, but not *all * surprises. That is one of the pleasant ones.
I don’t care about “preparation” for one sex or the other, there will be plenty of time for society to pigeonhole my child - the nursery will be a pleasant light green. (also, last I heard, they make baby clothes in many shades other than “girl pink” or “boy blue”. 
)
A follow-up question for all of you who say you want to know - were you the kind of kids who hunted for your Christmas presents before December 25?
If I hadn’t had the surprise to look forward to, I don’t know how I’d have made it through the last few months of pregnancy.
When our youngest was born you didn’t find out unless there was a potential health problem requiring the test. I was just as happy to be surprised. The doctor told us he thought it was a boy - the doctor was wrong.
There is something to be said for sex-neutral baby clothes anyway.
I had three children, and my husband and I never knew the gender in advance. It was never important. I never had any pre-natal tests.
We thought it was much more fun to wonder ‘What matter of person will this baby be?’
You know, it’s funny. When I was pregnant the first time, I really wanted to know the gender and we found out at the second or third ultrasound (I had lots of pre-natal testing because of a medical condition I have…I think 5 or 6 ultrasounds all together!).
Now I’m pregnant again and, after reading this thread, I’m not sure I want to find out for this one. We’ll still have all the testing, but a surprise at the end may be kind of nice. We have all the baby gear already, and tons of gender-neutral clothes that my son wore. Hmmmm. I think I’m going to broach the subject of a surprise with my husband tonight.
I can understand it, but yeah, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Sigh. Deliberately withholding knowledge of your child’s gender is not the same as pediatric neglect or even willful ignorance.
The instant gratification finding out about the child’s gender pre-nativity isn’t likely to be as memorable as the wait and speculation leading up to the birth. I wouldn’t want to know.
My daughter was born a couple of weeks ago, and my wife and I didn’t want to know the baby’s sex before the birth. (Actually, I had no strong feelings either way, and my wife didn’t want to know. So we didn’t want to know.)
I wouldn’t have flipped out if we’d found out by accident, although I think it would’ve been more annoying at, say, 8.5 months than at 4 months. The longer you keep the secret, the more irritating it is to have it spoiled.
Anecdotally, from our parenting class and other conversations, most couples find out – it seemed like 4 out of 5. When we’d tell people (parents or not) who asked that we weren’t going to find out, a lot of them said stuff like “Good for you!”
Finding out the sex, to me, was no big deal either way. I have nothing against finding out early, but I saw no personal benefit to it. We’re getting clothes in a bunch of colors, we’re not decorating a themed nursery. Knowing the sex wouldn’t have saved us money or given us useful medical information that would have improved our baby’s life.
Congratulations, Interrobang - it’s a wonderful thing.
My wife and I decided we wouldn’t find out, but she succumbed to the temptation the first time she was asked by her doctor if she wanted to know (about 4 months). So she comes back to the house and says, “I know the sex of the baby. Do you want to know?”!
There are downsides to finding out before the birth.
It’s very, very easy to love a baby you’re holding in your arms, when it’s squeezing your finger and blinking at you. People can forget about the sex and just love the baby as he or she is.
Unfortunately, for some people, like cazzle’s friend, finding out before means that they can’t focus on the baby as a whole and what he or she will bring to their lives, but only on what they’re missing out on because baby isn’t their preferred sex. It’s easier to do that if you haven’t actually got the baby looking back at you, making demands on you and bonding with you.
Sometimes they get it wrong (a finger between the legs here, everything tucked up there) and people prepare themselves for one thing, only to find themselves having to make a real adjustment.
Unless there is a pressing medical reason for finding out the sex, they usually advise people not to find out, although if the baby is co-operating and the family is very anxious to know the tech will often tell them.
Big clue- if they ask you if you want to know the sex at any ultrasound before 18 weeks, or if they ask you if you want to know without having to search around a lot, it’s usually (but not always) because it’s VERY obvious you’re having a boy.
If you really want one sex more than the other, just wait until you’re holding the baby to find out. If it works out the way you want, you’ll be thrilled, if it doesn’t you won’t care any more because you’ll be looking into your baby’s eyes.
That way you won’t have 20 weeks worrying how you’ll learn to play football or deal with smelly soccer kit or how much pink Barbie-themed merchandise you’ll be able to cope with in your house.
Needless to say, when/if an irishbaby decides to appear, we’ll be surprised by its sex when it’s born.