I’ve been a full time mommy for 11 years now, which is what I wanted, but somewhere down the line I lost myself.
My kids aren’t babies anymore, but I guess they’ve come to expect certain things from me because I’ve always been here to do them, I know it’s my fault, but I just did all the things that I felt a full time mom should be doing.
I was class mother for 3 years in a row for both of them, I’ve baked more goodies then I ever thought possible, I’ve hand made very fancy Halloween costumes every year and I was the president for fundraising purposes for my son’s youth group for two and a half years. The fundraising became very stressful and this year I grew some balls and finally said they needed to find someone else to do it, however I’m still expected to do a lot of the work because the woman who took over doesn’t fully understand the job yet.
This fall, I registered to take some classes at the college. I was so happy, but as the time to start got closer, my mommy duties began to interfere. I dropped the classes.
I got really upset last night. I took my daughter to sign up for girl scouts and was asked to become an assistant leader. I didn’t want to do it, but my daughter became very excited about the whole thing and I couldn’t say no. I did it for my son’s group, how could I say no for my daughter’s ?
My husband works long, crazy hours, six days a week. He does what he can to help out around the house, but his job doesn’t allow him to be around at any regular times. We don’t have family nearby and things being what they are, we can’t afford a sitter.
I knew being a mommy was going to be hard work, but I didn’t realize that i would lose myself.