I have a decision to make. As decisions go, it’s a biggie. And I have to make it soon. I don’t know what to do, but I’m hoping that writing about it might make it easier.
It concerns my job and my life.
At the moment I’m in a job that I find a touch uninspiring. I joined from university 2 1/2 years ago and I used to find it inspiring, but lately I’ve been demotivated. I think that the demotivation springs from [list=1][li]being moved to a location that rather isolates me[/li]
[li]not being involved much in teamwork, since I progressed rather too quickly for comfort so that technically I’m superior to those who started quite a bit before me. Noone quite knows what my role ought to be so noone really wants to include me in a team situation.[/li]
[li]the straight dope, which has attracted too much of my working time by thought if not deed[/li]
[li]the current management team really suck[/li]
[li]I was heavily involved in a project that looked as though it had been badly managed and was going to cause me problems.[/list=1]As such I applied for new jobs, and got them all. I eventually selected one that looks really hot, in a tightly focused partnership-based company that is very forward-looking. They really wanted me and broke pay-scales to get me (sorry if this comes off like boasting but if I’m going to decide my fate I have to be honest to myself). I was flattered and impressed and accepted the job.[/li]
Fast forward 2 months. I’m at the end of my notice period. I finish my current job at the end of the week and start the new one next Monday.
And I find myself not wanting to do it.
Why?
Well to answer the above points [list=1][li]the desk positions are being moved around. This should hopefully be addressed.[/li]
[li]new members of staff have come in and old ones have left. I ought to be more of a senior figure now.[/li]
[li]MY fault. This just needs determination on my part.[/li]
[li]So? People in other offices respect me and want to work with me. I have garnered a reputation. It is hard to give that up.[/li]
[li]The biggie. The project has really taken off. It has been selected as one of the few national projects for this year and I have been given a team to progress the thing. Further it has been selected as one of the UK’s two global initiatives. It is BIG.[/list=1]Hmm. So far it sounds as if I’m convincing myself to stay. Balance the excitement of the new job against my potential working on the project and it comes out quite even.[/li]
But there is more to it than that.
The new job is the other side of London. A fairly long way away.
My parents live in a town close to where I currently am. I get on very well with them.
My sister is about to start a job in the town next to my current town. I get on well with her.
I have friends here.
But most importantly:
Ms kabbes works in the same office as me. She has hated it since joining from uni 1 1/2 years ago. The plan was for her to switch to the office near to wear my new work would be.
However she has recently changed her mind. Furthermore she is shy and loathes the idea of having to start again with a new group of people. People respect her here and she is afraid that she won’t have that in the new place.
But she is willing to move for me. I don’t want to make her do that.
We have found a new house near to the new work. It is gorgeous. We both really want to live there. But she would only be moving for me and the house, not for her career. This seems unfair.
She doesn’t know what she wants to do. She thinks that I should take the new job.
Ah yes - another thing. In my current job I can get away with turning up at 9:30, having 90 mins for lunch and going home at 5pm (not too often, but I can). I live close by and so can get up at 8am+. These are not benefits to be sniffed at.
I love working with my SO. We have lunch together. We go to work events together. It’s nice.
I seem to be convincing myself to stay. But it is such a good work opportunity. And the new location is a lovely place to live and we love the house.
What the bloody hell do I do? I have to decide within the hour, since my unit head isn’t here tomorrow and I have to sort it out.
Sorry for the length of this and its rambling stream of conciousness style.
But what do I do?
pan