Is it “pressure” or is it “making conversation” and is it possible that you are perceiving the first when it is the second.
I’ve worn my hair pretty darn short for YEARS - usually in some sort of pixie cut (when it has no curl at all, right now its chin length). People ask “have you ever worn your hair long” - yes, but not for a long time. Sometimes they make conversation “I bet it would look really good long” or “you should grow it out” (usually with some sort of compliment in there, like "its such a pretty color, you should grow it out) and I laugh and say “its so much less work this short.” (Actually, I usually say “it gets wavy when it gets longer and I look like a cocker spaniel, not a good look for me”)
The only time I’ve felt pressure to grow it out is the occasional now long gone boyfriend who would say things like “you should grow it out, I like women with long hair.” It took a certain level of maturity for me to start answering these dickheads with “well, then go date a woman with long hair.”
Oh I know. But the “before” women in the ads don’t look totally unstyled, either. They’re usually artfully tousled but supposed to look messy, or something. But I (and most men I know) like “messy” hair on women.
When I see long curly hair, I wonder how much longer it would be straightened, that’s the kind of comment I’d make. (The only time I have mine straightened is when I want it to look longer.)
I got curls. It’s not as curly as it could be because I keep it so short and because I use a “sleek” conditioner. It straightens my waves, waves my curls, and curls my naps, ensuring that when I get to work after walking for an hour, the humidity hasn’t jacked my shit all up.
But I used to have a real big-ass fro back in graduate school. Sometimes I look at pics of me from that time and don’t recognize myself.
A few months before I was to enter the “real world”, I decided to lop it all off. I went to the black beauty salon around the corner, and I almost gave the lady a heart attack. She’d never seen so much “natural” hair in all her life, I don’t think.
What was the first thing she did?
She pulled out her flat iron and straightened it. Before cutting it.
I can only assume she’d never cut hair as curly as mine before. So many black women straighten their hair that she may not have had much experience working with unstraightened hair.
I also have multi-textured hair. I’ve got United Nations coming out of my scalp. Sometimes I wish I could grow it out again, but my fingers love my curls a little too much (I’m a recovering trichitilomaniac).
A not inconsiderable amount of us were actually born with straight hair, so longing for a change is based on actual experience rather than novelty. Mine was stick straight until 8th grade… It’s a lot easier to keep straight hair looking neat, imho, but I haven’t found an effective way to straighten it (at least not with a cost I can justify).
I had long, quite-curly hair from age 10 to 28, then cut it all off to try something new. When I got it cut, *all *the curl went away! I was like :eek:! Now it’s getting longer again, and I’m seeing the curl coming back in some areas–the ends, my temples–but most of it is still straight. I like it both ways, as long as it would pick one! That in-between stage sucks.
Anyway, tbh I’m just extremely lazy and hate heat-styling. And anyway, when my hair is long, it *always *looks nicest when I don’t do anything to it. The second my hands or a comb or brush gets near it, I swear it frizzes up in anticipation of being styled. >:[ I used to straighten it a lot in college, but I didn’t use any styling products. So it would start waving back up by the end of the day, especially if it was hot and/or humid out. Ugh! It’s so much easier to leave it natural, and save all that time and energy for important things (like posting on forums! ;)).
As my current style grows out, I will miss the straightness of my short hair, but I know I look better with it long. And you know, I kinda miss being curly, too. So that’s what I’m aiming for now.
I’m reminded of a coworker by this thread. After chemotherapy and no hair, her hair has grown back in (quite) curly when it was straight before. Poor girl has no idea what to do with curly hair! ( I don’t either, except I know don’t brush it once it is dry.) She has an appointment with a lah-di-dah high society stylist next week so maybe that will help.
I have to admit I don’t get it either. I have, and have always had, super straight hair. Why would someone ever want to straighten their curls? I know, the grass is always greener thing, but curls are just so pretty. The good news, though…my daughter has somewhat curly hair and my 2 year old granddaughter has the most beautiful blonde curls ever!
I have a friend who had chemo, she had lovely wavy long long hair which of course had to go. For fun she chose a short blonde wig in a straight bob. The strange thing was the reaction of women, it seems she’d gone from hippy to boardroom executive status. She reported that women generally treated her better and especially shop assistants.
OT but the place I get my hair cut does a lot of hair straightening, they have those old fashioned solid iron things that are put in that scary looking cradle/tunnel to get hot.
Everytime I see that I think what a good weapon those things would be, you could kill someone with those.
I am blessed/cursed with straight hair in front and curly hair in back. This presents quite a conundrum to just about any stylist I’ve been to. It generally takes me 3-4 appointments before my stylist learns how to cut my hair so it doesn’t come out all wonky. It also has the tendency to get all frizzy and fuzzy with the slightest amount of dry styling. I too am lazy and value sleep more than all straight or all curly hair, so I get out of the shower, comb it out with a leave-in no-frizz conditioner, and clip it up. And oh yes, I’m in the camp where 90% of hair clips cannot hold on to my mighty locks.
All that said, however, the main reason I refuse to straighten it all over is because I don’t want to look like all the 20-something co-eds that my fair city is infested with. I swear there’s a co-ed clone factory maybe ten miles out of town, because every single last one of those girls looks just like the others. Who wants to be a clone? Feh, not I.
The other thing is, I’m pretty sure straight hair would not do the job. As I mentioned earlier, my hair is very thin. If it was straight it would look even thinner, I’m sure…probably could see my scalp through the strands.
What I’ve never understood is why someone would only ever wear her hair the same way her whole life? I remember at my 20th high school reunion, ALL of the girls were wearing the SAME hairstyle they had in high school. This just seems boring to me. Hair is fun! You can color it, cut it, curl it, straighten it… and your head just keeps pushing out more! What could be better to play with?
The issue isn’t when you have a few frisky, playful curls, it’s when you have an enormous, uncontrollable frizzmop that arrives before you do. Back when I tried to love my curls at the behest of a wonderful hairstylist, the first thing he would do would be thin it by 1/3. Then he would pretty much hose it down with products. And most people couldn’t cut my natural hair - I’ve had so many hash jobs you wouldn’t believe it. So it would tend to look even worse after multiple bad haircuts.
My hair is almost exactly identical, in its natural state, to the hair of Chelsea Clinton circa 1994. Now it greatly resembles the hair of Chelsea Clinton, circa now (except mine has more volume and a little more lift at the top).
If after doesn’t look better to you, well, we just have different tastes.
That’s the thing, really. Thickness matters. Thick curly hair is hard to manage. Thin curly hair is probably the perfect combination to have. It LOOKS like it has volume and all that. But just a little bit of gel controls the frizz.
