Parents: Why do you feel it’s unfair that you are sometimes forced to explain to your kids that sometimes people are different? Is it really best to avoid these discussions? Is turning off the tv/leaving a store/etc. really about being sensitive to a kids (natural?) fear of people who are different, or is this about parents unwillingness to accept these things?
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Whoa! you’re accusing me of saying I feel it’s unfair?
For most things like the woman in the story quoted, or someone in a wheelchair, or someone whose eyes point in different directions, I feel like it’s my job as a parent to take a couple of minutes to explain that people are different, etc. And it happens when it happens.
I did resent having to explain to an 8-year-old the billboard that advertised an adult toy store by proclaiming it was “Cheaper than dating!” and being questioned about what adults toys were, anyway. Please, you don’t need to put this on a billboard one block away from an elementary school.
And it’s not that I didn’t want to talk about these kinds of things. It’s that I didn’t want to talk about them right then. I.e., five minutes before the bell rang, and early in the morning to boot.
I’m not finding any numbers either, but then they don’t seem to have been “official” complaints – just a few people posting on message boards. (I know! Small-minded people expressing ill-considered opinions on on-line forums! Whatever next?)
I suspect that, rather than seeing it as a problem, someone at the BBC has taken the opportunity to make it a “teachable moment” for us all. Good for them, says I.
From comments I heard on the radio the other day, I think they might mean not keeping the end of her arm covered. I think she’s made the right choice – if she had it covered all the time, kids would only wonder what was under there?
That is so sad,the poor girl inspite of everything going against her gets on in life and then some scumbag with nothing else better to do sticks the knife in.
To be quite honest I myself dont like looking at stuff like that,my mate got his leg blown off during the Falklands war and he used to take his artificial leg off when eating and it was totally gross,but I’ve still got my leg and if I cant handle it then it wont kill me if I miss ameal.
It makes you wonder why ther are so many selfish arseholes on this earth.
According to this article, there were 9 official complaints. So I guess about 59,999,991 people didn’t complain. And the article I linked to also represents the overwhelming response to these small-minded people.
I never watched the show - I’m from the Captain Kangaroo era - but I know of at least one time Mr. Rogers did this, because they run this little promo on my local PBS affiliate.
The example in the OP is obviously of a dumbass parent, but we’re in Vegas for a few days and I really don’t know how I would explain the hooker cards all over the sidewalk to a kid.
I pretty much let my kids watch anything and answer their questions as honestly as I can. I don’t think information can ever hurt a kid, and they’re going to find out how seedy the world really is sooner or later anyway.
The one time I’ve been utterly at a loss as to how to explain somthing was the first time my oldest daughter saw a crucified Jesus figure in a church (she was maybe 3 or 4). It was a fairly gruesome representation with lots of blood and open wounds. I didn’t have the faintest idea how to explain that to her. I punted that one to my wife.
(under age 9-10 or so) “Those are ads for shows that only grownups go to. Also, don’t pick up stuff from the ground. It’s garbage and you don’t know where it’s been.” (Yes, I am turning into my grandmother; why do you ask?)
(over age 9-10 or so and assuming we’ve already discussed what sex is) “Some people pay to have sex with other people. It’s against the law in most places.” Discussion of the moral rectitude of this may or may not follow, depending on how interested the kid is in the topic.
Some years ago, when my 9YO mudgirl was in a family play-center (before she was old enough for Pre-K), one of the other mothers commented to me that she had to stop letting her kids watch Blue’s Clues because Mrs. Pepper was pregnant, and she didn’t want to have to explain to her kids what that was about.
The real irony in the situation? The mother in question was pregnant! :rolleyes:
How, may I ask, is she not supposed to flaunt it? Hold her arm behind her back? Wear a big blazer and let the sleeve flop loose? Wear a burqa?
Parents (for lack of a better word :rolleyes: ) who freak about little precious seeing the horror of piercings are idiotic and parochial enough; but this Emmy award winner would like to see a woman fired because she is disabled. Was she out on a crack break the day they covered Things Not To Do Because They Make You Into A Giant, Screaming Asshole in Don’t Be A Moron school?
Seriously, the first thought that popped into my mind was that governess in that Star Trek episode who wanted a crewman killed because there was a tiny chance he might be contagious and infect her protégé. What the fuck?
(It’s especially galling to me because one of the only things I think I might like about being a parent would be answering questions and talking about the different people and things in the world.)
Also, excuse me while I spit fire for a while about that idiotic “diversity gone mad” business. Those are three words to begin with that I immediately take as a giant blinking neon sign saying "Attention! Please do not listen to anything I say! I am an idiot! Thank you!"l in this case, again, where we’re talking about someone having the temerity to hire a disabled woman, it’s just an extra special heapin’ helpin’ of fucked up loser with fail-sauce.
Better the kiddies can ask the embarassing curious kid questions at home.
The first time I saw a black man * was on a city bus with my mom. Having recently gotten a lecture on not playing with matches, and knowing what burned toast looked like, I assumed this what a burned person looks like. Fortunatly the man was very understanding, and explained that, no, he wasn’t burned, and his skin wasn’t all black, and showed me his palms. Being that this was the mid sixties it could have gotten ugly.
If a kid is going to freak out over such a disability, seems to be better that it doesn’t happen in person.
*Our house had no TV, and we had one car that dad drove to work…so mom didn’t typically venture too far on the bus with a toddler in tow.
Disclaimer: I am also not a parent, so I realize I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground, but I don’t get this mania for explaining everything to kids. I would think that part of growth and development is learning how to figure things out for yourself. So give the kid a little bit of information, and let him process the rest of it as he goes along. I can’t help thinking that these detailed explanations are a good way to brainwash a child.
Rilchiam, I think you are right that not everything needs to be explained, but I do answer my daughters questions. I have discovered that not only is she very good at figuring things out, she has more discretion about what to ask about than I would expect from a young child. Detailed explanations are a very poor way to brainwash a child. They glaze over when things are over explained. Far better to actually indoctrinate is present small pieces of evidence the child can put together that will lead them to the conclusion you want. Not easy, but more effective.
I think it is important not to go into lecture mode and answer one question at a time. Some times the discussions get deeper than you expect and sometimes they end after one brief answer. So far the question that has led to the most follow up questions was when my daughter was three and asked why is it cold outside. After the end of that conversation she knew why there were seasons. I even had to dig up a flashlight and some round objects to explain axial tilt. I downloaded an astronomy program and she played with that for quite a while and then it was on to google earth.
Some of them totally do. I had this discussion with some of the four-year-olds that I worked with. I was only in my early 20s at the time, so I explained to them that people are grownups for a long time, but not all of us were very old yet- Miss Amanda and I had only been grown up for a few years and didn’t have husbands or kids yet, unlike Miss Vanessa who has two little boys. And some people, like my favorite aunt, never have kids. One little girl seemed surprised that you don’t automatically get kids as soon as you become an adult, but the little boys looked relieved
