OMG this is too funny. This is the kind of humor I like right now.
OMG, I saw that too!! That was creepy. The email was too funny, though.
You’ve just given me renewed hope in the potential success of my own spam campaign:
If I sent each respondant a postcard that said, “Don’t take spam e-mails seriously in the future. It’s a safe bet they’re bunk,” I’d be operating within the law, right? I’ll make millions.
Oddly enough, not much!
I’ve heard this story before, but in a different context. It went something like this:
Billy was born without a body. Naturally, his parents were distressed, but they swore to treat their son just like any other member of the family, despite his disability. They set him up on the mantlepiece and would include him in all family gatherings – one of their favorite pastimes would involve tossing Billy back and forth in a “hot potato” type game.
Of course, Billy’s parents immediately sought out the top doctors and scientists to build Billy a new body. A few weeks after his birth, they found a group of doctors who said they could build a new body for him. The bad news was, it would take twelve years, as the technology was so expensive and far advanced. Numerous delays with insurance claims and government grants stretched out the project to 14 years, then 15. Finally, after sixteen years of waiting, Billy’s parents finally had a body for their son! They decided to present it to him on his sixteenth birthday.
So, on the morning of Billy’s 16th birthday, his parents came into his room and told him, “Guess what, Billy! We have a very special extra surprise present for you today!”
To which Billy replied, “Oh great. Not another fucking hat.”
I just remembered reading about a scientist who transplanted a monkey’s head.
Geez… that’s just awesome. I absolutely despise those help-a-dying-kid emails.
A few years ago I recieved this one about a little boy who was playing in those ball pits at McDonald’s playland, and a few hours later his mommy went to change his diaper and found a huge red welt on his butt. They took him to the hospital where it was discovered that there was a heroine hypo needle in the ball pit, and he had been stuck with it. Six hours later he was dead.
It looks really stupid and funny in writing, but of course when I got the email it was filled with stuff like: “Please help us. We have lost our poor, dear, beautiful son… we have no insurance… the medical bills are just too much, especially with Christmas just around the corner… [enter tears]… we loved him so much… we just need the money to pay the bills so we don’t get thrown out into the street… [repeat pathetic whinings].”
Incidentally, the email said it happened in some small town, of a name I can’t remember, in Texas. Someone launched an investigation on the grounds of this email. Nothing of the sort EVER HAPPENED. In fact, there isn’t even (or ever has been) a McDonalds in that town.
I was just sitting there cracking up over this email. Shows how sympathetic I AM! 
P.S. What does the little smiley with the word “Putz” mean?
This is sooo funny, I almost peed my pants.
It’s a tribute to Wally, a much loved poster here who is no longer with us. Also, “putz” is Yiddish for “penis” and note that the smilie is winking so one use is to say in a playful manner that another poster is being a dick.
My best friend forwards me all of the cancer patient emails, with the apparent belief that Micro$oft would spare a dime for them based on the number of names on the email. My friend is a cancer survivor herself (leukemia), so I can understand her wanting to help save lives (she’s a nurse, too, so that just adds to it), and her response when I told her it was all bogus was along the lines of “well, I can hope!”. She’s forever the optimist!
Oh… I see. That’s cute, but I don’t think I’ll ever use it! 