IANAD but Sattua, Sounds like you had a small Kidney Stone?
Toothache, to the point where I couldn’t move my head to anything but upright. I “slept” sitting up straight for two nights until I could get to the dentist. He gave me tylenol three and told me if one didn’t work I could take two. I did take the second one that night and the next day I had a root canal. I almost enjoyed that, it was such a relief.
But that wasn’t as bad as the toenail. While I was trimming the nail on my big toe I accidentally tore the nail down the inside, waaay down the side. It took months to heal and grow out, so for weeks I couldn’t even put the toe on the floor to walk. The weight of the sheet in bed made it throb. And then one night I moved my foot under the table and bumped the toe on a chair leg. My whole leg, to the thigh, quivered for a good half hour. I sat there thinking about POWs having their nails ripped out by the roots.
I think I’ve been fairly lucky as far as pain goes, but I’ll share anyway:
When I was 17, I one day decided to stop biting my nails. My entire life up until that point, I had always bitten them all the way down, even so far as to make them bleed, and I guess that caused some weird kind of damage. Anyway, as soon as they started growing out, they started getting ingrown. ALL of them, both sides of every freakin nail. My fingertips swelled up and turned purple, and any slight bump to my hand would cause pain to go zinging up my fingers. I ended up at the emergency room, getting antibiotics, and having the doctor take a scalpel to several of my fingers, and then SQUEEZING them, to drain the infection. My nails still aren’t normal looking. 
I’ve shared my “getting hit by a car in 4th grade” story more than once on this board.
I won’t repeat the details here, but yeah, that one sucked real bad.
Another shitty one was a varicocele
Having my toenail removed. They had to dig parts of it out with a scalpel, because it didn’t all separate from the skin in one piece.
I also had gauze removed from my nose with tweezers after hair had grown into it, following a nose injury. All of the hairs in my nostril were pulled out simultaneously, and the doctor had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to take a break before the 2nd nostril. I told him he probably ought to get out the 2nd one while I was still incapacitated by the pain from the first, or he might have to fight me to get those tweezers close enough.
A few years ago i had a really bad ear infection (but not painful) and went to the doc who gave me drops and tablets. After a week of administering i was in a meeting at work and started to feel some pain in my ear and my vision was slightly ‘off’. I went back to the doctor who gave me more antibiotics and painkillers. A few days later the pain was worse but the infection seemed to be clearing, so the doc gave me stronger painkillers.
A few days later my partner (at the time) came downstairs and found me hitting my head against the wall with the pain, and she phoned for an ambulance. Accident and Emergency said it was a migraine and gave me some more painkillers. A few days later and the pain was worse (worse than breaking my nose or 4 ribs), so a different doctor gave me the strongest painkillers the pharmacist said he had (lots of codeine) and these, taken along with the aspirin-based painkillers seemed to be doing the trick, although i was later told by my colleagues i was ‘out of sorts’. I went to the Ear department at the hospital and they said the infection had cleared up and didn’t have any response to my visual disturbances except migraine (never had 'em before but who knows?).
After a week on a training course i came home late on a friday night, to an empty house, and after lying in bed with unbelievable pain and sweats i passed out. I awoke a few hours later and threw up on the way to the bathroom, and went back to bed after taking more painkillers. My (then) partner woke me the next morning asking why there was all this red/brown stuff all over, i said i was really tired and wanted to go back to sleep, and she cleaned up and went out shopping. That night i woke, after around 23 hours sleep, very shaky and confused, and asked her to phone for an ambulance.
At the hospital i was throwing up blood and was taken for an x-ray. The next morning the doctors woke me and said they’d found a shadow. I was transferred to another hospital where an MRI scanner showed it probably wasn’t cancer but a cranial abscess which had developed on account of the ear infection, and they had to operate immediately to drain it.
After two brain ops and a mastoidectomy to remove some bone under my ear (and several seizures) i was ‘better’ 6 months later. The worst pain was probably seeing so many doctors and being undiagnosed for so long.
Winner.
I had a wisdom tooth out. I was supposed to have TWO wisdom teeth out, but during the first extraction the dentist cracked the bone, i.e., my jaw. He said there was nothing to help it heal but time. He also put a couple of stitches in where he’d extracted the tooth, and then wire my mouth mostly shut–just for a couple of days so I wouldn’t rip the stitches out.
Then he gave me some Demerol, which I’d never had before and which, it turns out, makes me throw up. Yeah, with my broken jaw wired shut, to the point where I could get a straw into my mouth but that was it.
I have never been a big fan of throwing up in the first place, but throwing up with my mouth closed? And my jaw trying to open, involuntarily? My roommates had to hide the Demerol because I was begging for death. (Okay, I was kind of overly dramatic, but that was awful.)
Mine is boring…Either breaking my arm or when my dad was trying to drive a 4-wheeler up a ramp and the 4-wheeler flipped over and both the 4-wheeler and my dad, the combined weight of my 200+ dad and the 4-wheeler fell on top of me on my bare back on concrete before I was even ten years old. It HURT!
I’ll quote a letter written by my consultant to my GP:
He wasn’t wrong.
Woke up from the surgery looking like a gunshot victim. My shoulder felt fine as did my elbow, then I touched my hand. Jesus wept, it felt like I’d stuck my fingers in an open wound.
The consultant chap popped 'round to see me and he was well chuffed: The ulnar nerve had been so tightly compressed that it expanded when he released it. That really seemed to have impressed him, the git.
So the nerve, now being unrestricted, decided to crank the volume up to eleven. From about halfway down the forearm up to the fingertips the nerves were just screaming and the painkillers wouldn’t touch it at all. It felt like a burn.
That lasted for just over a month, during which time I was wishing they’d just chopped the arm off and given me a hook.
“enhanced discomfort”
You’ve got to love that description.
Can’t remember which was worse - cavities drilled out with no anesthesia, or appendix rupturing. I do remember both being INTENSE, but fortunately, short-lived.
Although my previously mentioned kidney stone was the worst, I’d also like to mention second place:
In 8th grade I put the tips of my middle and ring fingers of my left hand into a sheet metal cutter. They weren’t far enough in to get cut, but when the machine came down, they were smashed flat.
Eeyowch.
Well, not at first. They didn’t hurt. They just sort of turned a greenish white. Then they started to swell, and hurt. They throbbed with each heartbeat. I swear, I heard a banging noise with each throb. Oooh, baby, that hurt.
So, I go to the doctor. He says he has to release the pressure. I ask how. He says with this here scalpel. I ask for novacaine. He says that would hurt just as badly. So, I say, OK, let’s get it over with.
I stand behind him, he takes my forearm in a grip like a headlock, and he shoves the scalpel under the fingernail.
Stars. I’ve never seen stars before. The blood squirts out and hits the wall. I nearly hit the floor. Then he says he’ll do the other one. Like hell you will.
I went home and, using ice and a sewing needle, numbed the finger and scratched a hole in the fingernail–sloooowlly releasing the blood. (I hadn’t yet learned about heating up a paperclip to burn a nice, neat hole in the fingernail.)
You live and learn.
A short while back I posted this in a similar thread about the scale used by medical personnel to determine pain. I had those rod fixators in the right arm and right leg (before the amputation of the leg), a removable cast from shoulder to knuckles on the left arm (to allow cleaning of the eight inch wound left from putting a plate in my upper left arm), a removeable cast (to allow knee surgery) on the left leg, cotton stuffed up my nose to contain the blood (it was torn almost completely off by my glasses hitting my helmet when my head hit the street) as well as more minor cuts and abrasions.
It was four months of surgery, debreeding of wounds and re-hab to come home from that one.
You mean you aren’t magically pain-free after they relocate it, like in the movies??
Yeah, “enhanced discomfort”. “New and improved discomfort!”
My worst thing in recent memory (mentioned in the other thread) was dropping a liter bottle of water onto the bed of my big toe. Hurt like a bitch, but still nothing like any of these others.