I figured out a great way to make money

For over a month now I’ve been planning a short little vacation for this weekend. It’s going to be a beach vacation. It’s not terribly far from here.

For the past several weeks the weather here has been terrible. Cold, cloudy, rainy, gloomy. Last week I started looking at the ten-day forecast, and almost every day of my vacation was supposed to be not just rainy, but all day thunderstorms, if not outright snow. But as the date draws nearer, the weather is getting better and better. Today is perfect. Tomorrow will be even nicer. My boss even told me that the weekend is going to be awesome.

This is not the first time this has happened. Last summer it was cold and rainy when I headed to Martha’s Vineyard. It poured for the first ten minutes I was there, then cleared up for the rest of the week.

In fact, I’ve taken something like 25 or 30 beach vacations in the past decade, and only one was rained out. That’s pretty impressive. Hardly a coincidence.

What could account for this? The only logical conclusion that a reasonable person could draw is that I cause sunshine and warm weather. Oh, not everywhere I go, all the time. Just when I go on vacation.

Something else occurred to me. Good weather is good for business. Day trippers don’t usually say “It’s cold and rainy, let’s head to the beach and visit a bunch of ticky tacky tourist shops.” No, they only do that when the weather is awesome. When the Sun shines, merchants make money.

So what’s the upshot of all this? I should charge for this shit! Smart merchants in touristy areas should pay me a fee for bringing them business. I don’t think it’s asking much to chage mernchants, say, $500 a piece to show up on holiday weekends or for the high summer. It’s a smart business move on their part. It’s an investment.

Businesses aren’t the only ones who could benefit from my services. Potential vacationers would benefit as well. When they ask when I’m going on vacation this year, I could just grin and say that I take most major credit cards.

And my services would be guaranteed, of course. If I go on vacation and it rains, you’ll get credit for next time. With a 15% convenience fee, of course. I have overhead, after all.

It sounds like a flawless plan to me.

So, anyone want to know when I’m taking my mid-summer vacation? I take most major credit cards.

Catch: if you’re doing this for money, you’re not on vacation. There goes your charmed ability to influence the weather. I’ll bet if you travel on business you don’t have the same luck, er, um, good influence.

Shame, really.

I have the same talent. We go to Ireland every year for 2-3 weeks. My wife’s brother takes his family, too, but they usually go just before we do (so they leave before we get there). It invariably rains the whole time they are there. When we get there it is sunny, and it stays sunny the whole time we’re there (excepting the odd shower).

I know it’s just a coincidence, but it’s a hell of a coincidence in a country that gets as much rain as Ireland does. We’ve been going annually for 10 years, and sometimes twice a year, at all times of the year. I still haven’t seen the Ireland that my wife and her family tell me about - dull gray skies and rain for weeks on end. I’m starting to think that they just made that shit up.

You know, that’s true. I once went on a business trip to Chicago, and it was cloudy.

But I also didn’t have ice cream. I’d bet that my ability to charm the weather is directly proportional to my ice cream intake.

I wonder if they are related to my aunt. She’s the same way. Maybe people should pay her to vacation in drought areas! She’d probably really enjoy southern California during wildfire season.

He may be doing it for money, but he won’t be working. There will be no heavy lifting, no reports to write, no deadlines or any schedule to meet beyond what he sets himself (maybe with family or friends). When you can lay about as much as you like, that’s not work.

See, I bet that would clinch it. tdn, if any of the sponsoring merchants want to put you on display, as an attraction, insist that it will only be done with no schedule, in a hammock, while an attractive model rubs suntan lotion on you. At their expense of course.

You’re hired.

The combination of myself and the two other primary members of the annual Chick Trips cause disasterous weather wherever we go.

Year 1 we brought a hurricane to The Bahamas. This was during the season so not so remarkable, but in subsequent years we have brought a “100 year” flash flood to Las Vegas, violent wind storms to NY State and various levels of unexpected rainfall to more local destinations. The one time our curse failed was on the 10th anniversary trip to Hawaii. Even our power was not enough to overcome the amazing climate there :slight_smile:

I wonder what would happen if we went to the same place at the same time. I predict lots of rainbows.

Oh wow! Double rainbows! What does it mean???

So some good weather, some pretty rainbows. This is a winning business plan :slight_smile:

If we can find someone who attracts puppies, then I think we are in business.

So, tdn, you’re saying you’re the opposite of a Rain God? :slight_smile: Keep a log. The World Meteorological Organization will have kittens when they analyze it. :slight_smile:

We could have used your services for the past two months.

Yes, and I’m stealing your user name.

I took a long weekend in mid April. Didn’t you notice?

When I woke up this morning, there was fog so dense I couldn’t see across the street. That was just to build suspense.