Oh yeah… Hi everyone, it’s been awhile unless you spend time in #SD. I begin to wonder before I post this if some of you will even remember me.
Anyway, what I figured out was: “Why I don’t post on the SDMB anymore.”
And it’s gonna sound like a bit of a Pity Party Post, but trust me, that wasn’t my intent. Just stay with me a minute.
I don’t post to GD or GQ because I’ve come to realize that I’m pretty much an idiot. I mean, I’m not a complete moron, but I don’t know enough about anything to really get into a debate about it. And especially not enough to try to answer anyone’s questions. Plus, I’m just not very argumentative. But basically the big reason is, I’m a dolt.
I don’t post to IMHO because I’ve never really liked the forum. I just don’t like the format. Here’s how it goes: “Person A: What do you like/hate/enjoy most/least about yada yada yada? Perrsons B-ZZZ: This and that.” Here’s the thing tho’. Not anyone of the Persons B-ZZZ group read or thought about what anyone else in that group’s opinions were. If that’s always the case, then what’s the point of sharing your opinion? If no one’s there to challenge it or agree with it… <shrug>
I don’t post to The Pit because I don’t have enough vitriol to do so. The anger that I have about things in my life manifests itself in a physical way now and I just don’t have the drive or the passion to write it down. Plus, there’s the argumentative thing again. On top of that, if there ever is an idiot that I think just posted some totally outlandish stupid shit, usually there are 50 other people already there, already saying everything I wanted to say only better than I could. Once again… we’re back to the “I’m a retard.” thing again. <sigh>
I don’t post to The Cafe because tho I tend to talk about music or cinema that I enjoy to anyone who wants to listen or wants to broaden their musical tastes, I don’t talk about music or cinema I don’t like. Again, it’s the same as with IMHO… no one listens anyway, so what’s the point?
Here’s the one that really upsets me the most.
I don’t post to MPSIMS anymore because I don’t have any friends here anymore. In keeping so busy in my own life, I’ve grown distant from all the people that I truly love and care about here. And like I said earlier, I’d be suprised if anyone that I’ve talked to at length even remembers that I existed. This is completely my fault. I should’ve made more effort to keep in touch with people here. It saddens me to learn of some that have gone and won’t be back. And I wish I had payed more attention. But, I had to be stupid about it, and because I felt that I was being left out around here… I let it go. It sounds dumb, but when you never get mentioned in a “People You Like” style thread… You know, it’s just a really painful thing when you’re forgotten. Especially by those you thought you were close to. Okay… change lanes. Here’s that part that’s not my fault. A certain someone has badmouthed me to some of the people that I was friends with here and I’ve lost their trust. More than a few think really poorly of me because of a situation that on many levels was beyond my control. Could I be any more cryptic? Probably, but suffice it to say, I didn’t conduct myself perfectly in this situation, but it’s still not anything that anyone needed to know about besides myself and the person involved. If that makes no sense to anyone but me, I apologize. But because of it, I’ve felt that I can’t really post here anymore out of fear of making anyone even more upset with me.
I don’t really know what I’m trying to accomplish with this post. I was just in chat and these thoughts finally came to me. I guess I’m rationalizing to myself why I’m not really a part of something that was a big part of me anymore. And it was, the SDMB was a really large chunk of my life. I continue to read here when I find the time, and to check up on those that I care for. But this is why I just don’t post anymore. I don’t imagine many of you will care very much, but thanks for listening and letting me get this off my chest.