Maybe burning down pet shops is such a special and particularly vile kind of evil Satan feels he can’t trust his minions to do it properly and leave behind a mad cow/satan calling card etched into the back of a turtle.
I had to look intently for a minute to see anything other than a turtle shell.
But once I did see “it,” I will say that the image looks a lot more like Cardinal Richelieu than Satan. Or rather, it looks like Charlton Heston as Cardinal Richelieu. You know, in the Richard Lester version of The Three Musketeers.
Maybe Satan was trying to burn the Pet Shop Boys and missed? Can’t blame him for having really stupid minions.
My favorite aspect of the story is now CNN’s URL for it:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/21/evil.turtle.ap/index.html
evil.turtle.ap. Hee hee!
Daniel
Time now for another episode of Rex Rader, Pet Exorcist:
*Scene One. Camera pans over Rex Rader’s office - bookshelves full of Bibles, shelves festooned with rosary beads, vials of holy water, pictures of Jimmy Swaggart and other prominent evangelists, a battered desk holding up an overflowing ashtray, a bottle of amber liquid (no glass) and the ill-shod feet of *Rex Rader ** himself. There is a knock at the door.
Rex: Come in! (Bryan Dora enters, carrying a turtle) What can I do for you?
Dora: It’s my turtle, Mr. Rader. He’s been possessed by the Devil.
Rex: How can you tell?
Dora: Satan’s face is on his shell. It happened when my pet store burned down. This little guy was the only survivor, so I named him “Lucky.”
Rex: Sounds like the Prince of Darkness, all right. What does he eat?
Dora: In the wild, turtles like this prey on grubs, grasshoppers and small minnows. In his tank, it’s mostly green leafy vegetables.
Rex: Aha, lettuce prey.
Dora: Our Father, who art –
Rex: What are you doing?
Dora: You said –
Rex: Never mind. Let’s have a look at him. Are you sure that’s Satan? It looks more like a steer sticking his tongue out.
Lucky:
Dora: Lucky said, “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell.”
Rex: No he didn’t.
Dora: Did too. I heard him. Now he’s saying your pitiful religion is no match for the Dark Lord, the world will grovel at his toes and you smell like old tacos.
Rex: Cut it out. He’s not saying anything. His mouth isn’t even moving.
Dora: You better do something quick, Mr. Rader. He’s about to make the furniture start flying around the room, I can tell.
Rex: Okay, okay. I’ll need some oil, salt and water.
Dora: For the exorcism?
Rex: No, for soup.
Let’s hope the snappy fella doesn’t go to Australia and fall ill. The only frog hospital in the country is about to close.
It’s nice to see Satan still has a goatee. I know they’re out of style now (though I’ve still got one), but Satan was into them before they were cool.
Why am I suddenly reminded of the Discworld turtle? :dubious:
You are, indeed, the King of Soup. Kudos!
Brilliant!
Wonder if Rex ever exorcized (or exercised) Halvsie, the Two-Legged Dog?
If you look at that picture upside down, it looks more like cthulu with a silly hat.
hmm…
Christ on a bike! It’s Satan on a turtle shell!
That was just too funny!
You shouldn’t mock turtle soup! 
