You just can’t make up shit like that. This isn’t a RO thread, so take that dog home, already. Unfortunately, they haven’t apprehended this dickhead, so we don’t know what his basic malfunction is. I’m going to guess that he’s either a drug user, or is a toy shy of a Happy Meal and was off his meds. In either event, injure yourself next time, fuckwit, and leave the critters alone.
I once killed a turtle that was a werewolf. You can’t be too careful.
And I once ate batshit because I thought it was clam chowder, but then, I was crazy.
I confess that my brother and I once grabbed baseball bats and a flashlight to find the person who was murdering a child in our village one night. We stormed down one of the unlit paths looking for the source of the unearthly screaming we could hear, rounded a corner, and there was a startled looking peacock, interrupted mid-scream.
So, I myself actually thought a peacock was a pedophile, and nearly beat the shit out of it.
I’m not sure which is weirder - the whole righteous killing of a vampire thing, or that a peacock appeared in an NYC Burger King parking lot.
It’s very likely it was Hercules taking out his aggression on Hera. She deserved it too, that bitch.
The guy is such a dick. Obviously the peacock was tame. Asshole.
Malik Taus?
I’ll bet a nickel 9 in 10 Dopers don’t recognise that name!
The Peacock Angel. But the nutball thought the bird was a vampire, not Satan.
(Sorry. I just re-read S. M. Stirling’s The Peshawar Lancers.)
And on that note, an explanitory link–
So, you’re telling us that the National Broadcasting Company was influenced by pre-Islamic religious adherents in 1956?
You know, if I was going to be beating the crap out of something in a Burger King parking lot, it’d be that damned plastic headed nightmare they had in their commercials. That would get you a medal!
The Burger King as a vampire. Well, it makes some kind of sense. More sense than having a mascot who scares people.
You misspelled either Heracles or Juno.
Greek, Roman, whatever!
And besides, Heracles: The Legendary Journeys just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Of course YOU’D say so!
Anyway, are we sure the OP’s incident isn’t really just a publicity stunt for a new Bunnicula sequel?
Um… yeah? That’s usually the way that works, isn’t it? Thank you, Associated Press, for that insightful detail.
The really tragic part here is that even if the bird HAD been a vampire, it wouldn’t make the guy look any better. Honestly, what kind of vampire can be killed just by knocking it down and kicking it? That guy needs to be found not only to answer for the crime of animal cruelty, but also of public endangerment by grossly incompetent vampire slaying.
Dude, seriously; just stay the hell at home and leave the job to the professionals.
I have noticed here in the SDMB that sometimes the experts are more drawn to a bad answer than to a good question. Maybe he just wanted to meet Buffy and hoped his lame attempt would draw her out.
“Charmed employees were feeding him bread when the man appeared.”
See? It did have vampiric powers. I think we all owe the fearless killer an apology.
Jesus, it took me about three readings of your post to realize you meant you thought there was a crime in process right then, not that you’d heard allegations that someone was suspected of child murder and just decided to go after him. ('cuz I read good)
So, uh, I almost flamed a guy who I thought was a vigilante, because he thought a peacock was a child murderer. Huh. What complicated webs we weave.