So I am sitting at home tonight watching TV and browsing the boards when I hear a a small whack against my front door. I get up to go to the door and then I hear a big thunk. Looking out I don’t see anyone so I open the door.
Lying on my front step I find the Drunk Blind Guy(DBG). I see DBG all the time around my apartment building but I have never seen him drunk before. He lives way on the other side of the complex and gets around really well for a blind person. Anyway, this guy is laying on my front step. I ask him if he is ok and he manages to get out a very slurred “Yes”. I notice that he has a 64 oz. beer in one hand. (I have to hand it to the guy, he didn’t spill a drop) I help him up and realize that this guy is plastered. He then tells me that he was just trying to get into his apartment. I explain to him that he is on the wrong side of the building. He muttered something that I didn’t catch and starts wandering off in the wrong direction.
As he started to walk away in the wrong direction I noticed that a)he can barely walk and b)his stick control (I don’t know what you call the sticks blind people use to find their way around) is gone. I watch him take a couple of steps and realize that he is going to face plant into a set of stairs if I let him go.
Being a nice guy (Hey, stop laughing) I go up and stop the DBG and tell him he is going the wrong way. He tells me he is going to his apartment. I tell him that he is in the wrong place and that I will help him get to his apartment. He says that is ok.
Now, here is the problem. I know what building he lives in but I have no idea which one of the 200+ apartments in the building is his. So I start leading DBG to the right building and I ask him what his apartment number is. DBG gives me three different numbers. At that point I realize this guy is not just plastered but totally s***faced plastered.
I think about the problem for a minute and then come up with a brillant idea. I led the BDG to the guard post at the intrance to the parking lot and knock on the door. The security guard opens up the door. I explain that DBG got really drunk and lost and ended up on my doorstep. I told the guard which building DBG lived in and that he, the guard, should help him find his way home. The guard didn’t like this idea all that much and said I needed to get the guy home. I told the guard that if he didn’t help the guy get home I would take DBG back to my apartment and call 911 and get the cops to come out and take the guy. The guard liked this idea even less, I imagine that anytime the cops come out he has to do a lot of paper work, and he took DBG off my hands.
And that, my friends, is my saga of the DBG.