Hi, my name is Oak, and I’m a lard ass.
<Hi, Oak>
So, I went to the doctor last week. Figure that’s the kind of thing I oughta do at least once a decade. Tell the Doc my symptoms, and he goes all R. Lee Ermey on my candy ass. I weighed in at 267. He drew blood, said he wanted to do blood work, run an EKG, and put me on a treadmill? WTF? I’m only 45. Gimme a pill or something to fix it.
No dice. They drew blood, then hooked me up to the EKG. Damn thing started smoking, sparks flying everywhere, massive explosion–ok, maybe I exaggerate a little. But the EKG was not good. Doc says no treadmill for me. Instead I get an appointment with a cardiologist to discuss the EKG.
Turns out my arteries are clogged up like the sink in a small apartment shared by 4 frat boys after a 4-keg party. My options at this point are to get treatment and lose weight, or die.
Had this happened this time last year, I probably would have told the Doc to kiss my ass, gone on about my business, and dropped dead. Can’t do that now. I actually have a reason to live–hopefully a long time. I’m about to be married, and my Druidess has indicated a strong preference for me to not die.
OK, so it’s off to the cardiologist on the 26th of this month. Also looking around at local gyms, started a slow–painfully slow–program of walking every night–and dieting in earnest.
Lunch for me this time last week was a double quarter pounder, large fries, large drink. Yummy. Today, it was a BLT Cobb (whatever that means) salad from Wendy’s, with a large unsweetened tea. Baby steps and all that. The salad didn’t totally suck…but did have some vile substance on it–possibly bleu cheese. I scraped that shit off, and picked off most of the tomatoes. Did like the bacon and the chicken. The greens weren’t horrible. Weren’t great, either. Bleh.