Romantic Fool that I am, I wanted to give Pepper Mill gifts approximating the Days of Christmas. I stopped at Five because I ran out of time, and I didn’t want to repeat myself. I didn’t want her to get, say, cutouts of Six Geese A’Laying followed by cutouts of Seven Swans a Swimming, and so on.
So on the First Day of Christmas
[spoiler] Well, actually on Christmas Eve, which is when we exchange presents in my family. I bumped the days up by one.
There was a long piece of white yarm with a tag with her name on it, and the number “1”. It lead to the Christmas Tree, in which she found a real pear hanging, below which was a wrapped package.
This had a computer Ink Cartridge in it.
She ate the pear for breakfast the next morning. [/spoiler]
On the Second Day of Christmas
she found a package at the breakfast table with her name on the tag, along with a numeral “2”. Inside were two novels by Harry Turtledove.
On the Third Day of Christmas
there was a small thin square package for her at breakfast, with her name on it and a “3”. Inside was a calendar. On the cover was a photograph of four chickens. One had been crossed out, and on the others were drawn striped shirts, berets, little pencil-thin moustaches, and, dangling from their beaks, cigarettes. In the background, of course, was a crudely drawn Eiffel Tower.
On the Fourth Day of Christmas
there was a box like the ones that they use for take-out Chinese Food, only colored with peppermint stripes. With, of course, her name and a “4”. Inside were four plastic Macaws, each with a tint telephone set (from doll house furniture sets) glued to their heads.
On the Fifth Day of Christmas
[spoiler] she found a small box were her name and a “5”. Inside, of course, were Five Gold Rings.
Not real Gold, you understand. I ain’t that rich. [/spoiler]
