And I got one of those “summons”
Want to see what it looks like?
I would love to storm the “trial” with a bunch of my pagan and atheist friends; charging that the trial was rigged since the “prosection” is one of the pastors of the church and is obviously biased.
Ha ha, that’s awesome. I wish all churches had such a sense of humor. 
However, they should have made sure people didn’t actually think it was real. It sounds pretty obvious from the article, but I guess you should be extra careful.
If the summons you received is identical to an official summons other than the address, it appears the Church misrepresented an official legal document. It’s called fraud.
Should the Church be prosecuted? Well, the DA should have a talk with the Church.
Um, in that article, according to an assitant DA, “The mailer does not violate criminal laws.”
Time to break out those fine Ft. Worth steers to stomp all over that pack of idiots! Fraud or not, it is invasive marketing, at the least.
I’m with Blonde on this one. I’ll be in town Sunday, so if there’s any stomping to be done …
(I’ll pass on the ‘steer’ part though.)
It’s as invasive as those fake checks that look like real ones. I’d expect most people to realize it’s a church invitation (you didn’t show the reverse side, was there anything more?) but it might be confusing/upsetting to people who don’t read English well, what with the “JURY DUTY” in the largest typeface.
It only starts getting obvious when you read the details and find out that the trial is “the greatest trial on Earth” to “prove the existence of God”
My favourite bit of the article:
“It has surprised us,” Harber said. “Usually we mail stuff to people’s mailbox and it gets thrown away and nobody ever notices.”
Which begs a question, does it not…?
You could always go along to it and keep standing up to shout “objection!”
It would be great for some dopers to go be the prosecution.
Bu t I like this from the aritcle
Skipper Anger
Ginger Lust
Mr. Howe Greed
But how do you assign the rest?
Gilligan Sloth
I would make Mary Ann Lust
Ginger Pride.
Lovey- Sloth
Mary Anne- Envy
Prof - Pride
Gilligan - Gluttony (have you seen him eat those coconut pies?)
This is how I would lay them out … and I must say that while the Jury Duty thing was ill-advised, the idea of a morality play based on the castaways amuses me way more than it should.
Gilligan–Gluttony (BNB’s right about the pies!)
Skipper–Anger
Professor–Pride
Mr. Howell–Greed
Mrs. Howell–Sloth
Ginger–Lust
Mary Ann–Envy
The seven deadly sins, starring the seven dumbass castaways!
[ul][li]Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.[/ul]I’m going to assign the Professor to this one. He seemed to be albe to do virtually anything. Making complex chemical reactions(like batteries) out of coconut milk and with minimal metals/semiconductors sounds like a guy with some serious belief in his own abilities.[ul][]Envy is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation. [/ul]I’m going to say Mary Anne. She wanted to be all sexy like Ginger, or well-to-do like the Howells.[ul][]Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.[/ul]Mrs. Howell. Damn that woman was high-maintenance! Even if Mr. Howell was a snob, she was almost certainly the one who made them take trunks and trunks of clothes on a three-hour tour.[ul][]Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.[/ul]I think this one is pretty clearly Ginger.[ul][]Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.[/ul]I’m not sure who fits this one. Most of the times I saw the Skipper get mad, he had a damn good reason. He didn’t go around spurning the attentions and affections of his friends. He only got mad in response to bad stuff.[ul][]Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.[/ul]Pretty clearly Mr. Howell. See how he followed the stock market whenever the radio worked? Still trying to make more money even when it certainly appears he’ll be stuck for the rest of his life on an island where money won’t make a bit of difference in his life.[ul][]Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.[/ul]I guess we’re down to Gillagan for this one. It would have fit Ginger or the Howells better than him, but they have other traits which were more prominent than their slothfulness. Gilligan loved to sleep in and would whine like a little bitch when it was time to go off into the jungle to collect coconuts and such.[/li]
So there is the tale of our castaways. They’ll burn for a long, long time. They’ll have to make the best of things, it’s a downhill slide.
Enjoy,
Steven
One more opinion:
Gilligan - Sloth
MaryAnn - Envy
Ginger - Lust
Skipper - Gluttony
Thurston - Anger
Lovie - Avarice
Professor - Pride
That was the way I learned it in college, anyway. Sherwood Schwartz is supposed to have confirmed this, when asked at a lecture, but he was probably blowing off the question, having heard it many times.
Now, can we match up the Brady Bunch to the Seven Virtues? They are:
Prudence
Fortitude
Justice
Temperence
Faith
Hope
Charity
(Work with the six kids + Alice; the parents don’t count)
