I hate being an atheist

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Am I the only atheist who feels this way?
I’ve been an atheist for about 8 years, and I hate it. Maybe people who’ve been atheists their whole lives have nothing to compare it to, but I was happier then.

I’ve tried to force myself to believe in God, but I just can’t because there’s just no evidence. Sometimes if I try real hard I can sort of trick myself for a few days, but it just doesn’t work in the long-run. I wish God would come to me and give me irrefutable proof of Its existence.

Atheism is such a bleak worldview. I’m still horrified that:

[ul]
[li]There is no one looking out for me and no one who gives a shit. I’ve lost that warm feeling of comfort that I had as I child when I fell asleep each night thinking that God was looking out for me and always would.[/li][li]I’m going to die, and then there will be nothing. What’s the point of doing anything if it’s all going to be erased?[/li][li]Bad things don’t happen for a “reason”. It’s just random.[/li][li]My dead relatives are dead and I will never be able to speak to them again. Corollary: I’ll never get to meet Arthur C. Clarke.[/li][/ul]
You might say “Well, at least you’re not deluded anymore!”, but I say it’s better to be wrong and happy. It’s not like I was the “kill the infidels!” kind of religious that certain posters seem to think all religious people are.

Does nobody else feel this way, too?

I’m curious what both theists and atheists have to say about this.

–Jack

2

I’m sorry to say I don’t have anything to say to help mitigate your concerns…sorry. But I do wonder if these feelings are unique to us atheists. I’ve known many religious people, and though they seem certain of what happens after death, I really wonder how much of that is an act (I use that term very loosely).

What I mean is–and I could be off base–but if those who truly believed in an afterlife were absolute convinced of such, there should be no reason to cry at another’s death, yet I’ve known just as many people, whether atheist or religious, who had difficulty in coming to grips with the loss of a loved one.

In short, what I’m trying to convey is I don’t think that you being an atheist has makes you much different from most people.

3

I’ve been an atheist at least since I was 13 or thereabouts, so I can’t remember the theistic worldview much, except when I was a kid I rather resented the intrusiveness of “God knows everything you do” and the guilt trip of “Christ died for your sins”.

Yes, I’m happier this way. True, sometimes I would kind of like to feel that I’ll have eternal life and/or see my deceased loved ones again, but only in the way I would kind of like Middle-Earth Elves to be real or Shah Rukh Khan to fall in love with me. It’s too imaginary for me to really regret that it isn’t true.

And by the way, you don’t need to renounce ideas of transcendence, eternity, gratitude, meaningfulness, and universal love just because you don’t believe in a personal deity. These things do reflect profound truths about reality and the human spirit, even if you can no longer interpret them in a literal way as embodied in some kind of white-bearded Big Sky Father who is solicitously keeping track of you on the supernatural Baby Monitor.

4

I felt like that for a while when I lost my faith. It was like having a security blanket taken away. Got so bad I’d have panic attacks worrying about those sorts of questions.

Now, I’ve moved on to trying to make something of the time I DO have here. So I feel productive in the short or medium or long time that I’m around, ya know? Life is (too) Short, so Love the ones you got.- Sublime. I like that line. So the end’s uncertain or if you’re fully sure of it- completely a dead end, then when it’s time for you to meet that period of your life, then that’s the time to deal with it. You don’t want to dread the end SO much that you end up missing what was going on the whole time on the way towards the destination. That’s not what Life is supposed to be in my opinion. When it happens it happens, and until then you can only try to really make something of your life by living each day as it comes.

And with that view, it’s kinda weird- after awhile I started to freak out less. Started to look at philosophical ideas, and other religious view points such as Buddhism which have large atheistic aspects- as they do have ways to live life and what to expect in it, but without the whole figure of a “God” and so forth. I liked some of those ideas, and then slowly, I ended up just construction a new blanket of sorts of things I had learned, liked, enjoyed in this life that made me happy and not so worried and panicked. I focused on my family a bit more, since yeah- love the one’s you got- life IS short. And I tried to do a little better in the goals I had set forth for myself, and the questions started to fall away for me (we’re talking several years though, and plenty of curled up in the shower freaking out moments in between though).

And then, for me at least- I started to find my way back to my faith. I don’t think I have Faith per say, and I don’t consider myself a very religious person… But sometimes I feel okay about not knowing all the answers, and sometimes I almost feel like maybe there could be something out there. Perhaps it’s Agnosticism, perhaps it’s spirituality, or maybe I am just another religious person who isn’t really sure if there IS or ISN’T a God- but my view is- if it works for you, then go with it. Just don’t force it on anyone else. So I’m a big proponent of individualized person beliefs and views, and I don’t really tend to share my religious views with others, because it’s not for them. It’s what works for me. Because some days I feel like I believe, and other days I feel like an atheist right down to it (though more and more, I have that feeling less and more likely to feel Agnostic. Because I can’t ever REALLY be sure. And once I find out, well, I probably won’t be conscious to perceive in any standard sense in this Life). James Campbell said “Follow your Bliss” and that’s a good idea. I like it- that’s what I feel like I’m trying to do. Follow my bliss, if I need Religion for it, that’s cool, if not, that’s fine too. :Shrug:
But I’m kinda weird about religion, I view it as a good idea, but terrible impractical for the masses. Much more in favor of personalizing it.

Good luck to you though on your journey, and I wish you nothing but the best.
Just hang in there.

And for Reference-
I classify myself as a Hindu.
~Roosh

5

I must admit that I agree it would be much easier if I could just shrug my shoulders and say “Eh, must be God wants it that way” than try to actually figure out how the world works. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

6

Someone posted a podcast interview between Adam Corrolla and Seth McFarland in another thread here and they discuss this almost exactly. Adam Corrolla stated that most atheists would pay 10 million dollars if they could get the comfort of believing.

Being pragmatic is not always fun, I guess. :frowning:

7

You no longer have blind faith-but this doesn’t mean you no longer have any faith.
Have faith in who is there for you. Your friends, your family, and the complete stranger who will stop by to help if you you look like you need it.
Have faith in yourself, that you might turn out to be the complete stranger that helps out someone else.
Have faith that you will live on in the memories of others and that, for good or ill, you will influence the future.
Have faith that others are trying to make this a better world.
Have faith in reality, marvel at what Mankind has accomplished in our short time on this planet, and try to imagine what we are yet capable of doing if we just have faith in each other.

8

[quote=“Victory_Candescence, post:1, topic:495727”]

[li]There is no one looking out for me and no one who gives a shit.[/li][/QUOTE]

Move to a civilized country and the government will do that. They might not give a shit about you as a person because there’s millions of people, but then again that’s how it would be with God, too. I seriously doubt you’re special enough that a god would like you in particular over any of the other people who currently exist.

[QUOTE]
[li]I’m going to die, and then there will be nothing. What’s the point of doing anything if it’s all going to be erased?[/li][/QUOTE]

It’s not getting erased. It’ll still be there, but you obviously won’t be able to partake in it. The other people that were affected by what you did, however, will. So, y’know, save an orphan or something.

[QUOTE]
[li]Bad things don’t happen for a “reason”. It’s just random.[/li][/QUOTE]

Yes, because it’s so much more comforting to think that there’s an invincible, all-powerful creature out there somewhere who’s making all those bad things happen. You’d have to live in fear your whole life, always having to dread when the cosmic psychopath gets bored and just decides to blow up the whole planet.

[QUOTE]
[li]My dead relatives are dead and I will never be able to speak to them again. Corollary: I’ll never get to meet Arthur C. Clarke.[/li][/QUOTE]

Get some friends and talk to them, instead. Also, read the works of an author who’s still alive and then go have a chat with him.

9

Start drinking. It takes over all the responsibilities of religion, costs less in the long run, gets you laid a *whole lot *more and makes you die sooner.

10

I am a religious person with no God. I am advised that this is an impossible contradiction. Oh, well.

11

I’m not an atheist, but I’m Pagan for a lot of the same reasons that people are atheists, so I have opinions about your concerns that don’t appeal to a deity or the supernatural, which you may find helpful.

Sometimes I get this feeling about the gods I worship, but the bulk of this feeling comes from the people close to me. They care about me and will look out for me if I become helpless.

It’s not going to be erased. My deeds already affect the people around me, hopefully for good rather than evil, and when I die, I’ll live on in their memories of me, and in the effects of my actions rippling out through the social and physical world.

Besides, even once we’ve all gone up in smoke – my actions still mattered and were important and (hopefully) benefited people at the time. The fact that I’ll one day cease to be doesn’t render meaningless what I do now, since I’m interacting with sentient beings who experience things now.

“You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.” - Marcus Cole, Babylon Five

No, no you won’t. But presumably you remember them, and continue to experience the impact they had on your life. You can even imagine, with a strong intensity, how they would react to what you’re going through now – lots of people feel themselves sharing in some way with a deceased relative, without necessarily thinking of it as some sort of supernatural or beyond-death experience.

Loss is painful and difficult, and a part of everyone’s life, but it needn’t lead to bitterness and can be tempered by the memories of what went before.
I think there’s plenty of stuff to make life meaningful and delightful without necessarily having to appeal to a really specific view of the divine. Plenty of atheists enjoy life, and so do tons and tons of people who, although “spiritual” or “religious” in some sense, don’t turn to their view of deity for the whole of their emotional fulfilment.

Try to cultivate what you enjoy about life, and let yourself experience it as meaningful and important to you and those close to you. I agree that a hard-edged atheist viewpoint that says that a meaningful life is impossible and absurd and the universe is sterile is really awfully depressing, but then I feel that way about hard-edged religious viewpoints that say that a meaningful life is impossible and absurd and the universe is sterile unless you are a member of that religion, which is the only route to anything meaningful.

12

There is no one looking out for me and no one who gives a shit. I’ve lost that warm feeling of comfort that I had as I child when I fell asleep each night thinking that God was looking out for me and always would.
-> Your family and loved ones.

I’m going to die, and then there will be nothing. What’s the point of doing anything if it’s all going to be erased?
-> Your life was happy and fulfilled because the people before and around you were kind and giving. Being kind to others is a form of paying forward to yourself.

Bad things don’t happen for a “reason”. It’s just random.
-> Bad things happen because everyone has a different dream, but there’s a limited supply of all the things people want, and sometimes what they want is hurtful to others.

My dead relatives are dead and I will never be able to speak to them again. Corollary: I’ll never get to meet Arthur C. Clarke.
-> This is true, but it doesn’t stop you from playing them out in your mind the same way you would have if you believed they still existed as spirits

13

I don’t know who Adam Corrolla is. Is he normally that brain-damaged? Where does he get those numbers (“most” and $10 million)? If I had 10 million to throw around, I could think of a lot better things to do with it that might actually help other people, instead of reinforcing delusions for myself.

As for the OP, I don’t feel that way at all. You might as well ask me if I hate not believing in Santa Claus anymore because it was oh so fun and comforting.

14

He probably doesn’t have any numbers at all. It sounded like a casual conversation between two dudes. I took “most” to be shorthand for “most atheists I know”. 10 million is a random number, in the same vein as “I would give 10 million dollars for a flying car that grills hamburgers and dispenses Dr. Pepper”. I personally have been in countless conversations with atheists (including my mother) I know that start with “I would love to believe, but blah blah blah”.

15

I will admit there are times I miss the consolation of religion. HOWEVER, atheism has its own consolations as well.
—Your loved one did not die in pain because of anything you did or necessarily that they did. They died because of booby trapped genes, or lifestyle, or accident, and all the prayer in the world wouldn’t have made a difference.

—You are NOT going to be punished for eternity for some arbitrary bullshit thing like eating shellfish, being gay, not going to church enough, etc…

—Because this probably is all there is, it’s all the more important and thus you should work to make it the best place for you and for others.

—If there is no God, neither is there a Satan (or similar entity). The Hitlers of the world really don’t have supernatural protection, you really aren’t being tempted by the co-worker (or maybe you are, but not for any supernatural reasons) and there really aren’t little demonoids running around knocking over old ladies on their walkers or causing tornadoes to hit daycares.

—There really isn’t a permanent record card, meaning that the time you masturbated 14 times in a day isn’t really going to send you to hell if you don’t spend the rest of your life giving sponge baths to lepers.

—I’ve lost people (i.e. they’ve died, wasn’t just carelessness on my part) when I was religious and trust me, it’s no better. People will say “we’ll be reunited in Heaven”, but that’s just really not that comforting here on Earth; for cite see Steel Magnolias M’lynn’s “I want Shelby here!” breakdown.

—Freedom From Religion also means Freedom from it’s Baggage. You don’t have the consolation of a magic sky buddy— neither do you have to wonder if there are people he hates. You don’t have the consolation of thinking hours on your knees in prayer might help— which means you can actually do something that might help instead. You don’t have the community of believers to participate with— neither do you have to grit and grind your teeth when the preacher/priest says something glaringly naive or stupid.

We’re all fucked. But it’s not that bad really. Enjoy the ride.

16

Fuck that noise. I’m the latest product of a lengthy and noble evolutionary struggle, not sneezed into existence as some god’s hobby project and beholden to worship that whim. How some religious people eagerly prostrate themselves before imaginary entities is sad and contemptible.

17

I’ve been an atheist for as long as I can remember, so maybe I’m not a good person to answer this question - but none of these things bother me all that much. Personally, I’ve always found the idea of a God more creepy than anything else - the God described in the Bible is an unpleasant, violent, genocidal sort. Moreover, my family is Jewish, so our prayers always refer to God as “King of the Universe”, among other titles (do Christians do the same thing?) I don’t like kings, unless they’re figureheads. So, even if I believed that God existed, I doubt that I would find that belief to be a source of comfort.

But there are people looking out for me, people who do give a shit - friends. Family. Professors, even former bosses. People care about and look out for each other - you don’t need an invisible tyrant in the sky for that.

As for death - well, yes, that’s a bummer. But I don’t think it makes life pointless - the trick is to do something that won’t be erased when you do. For me, that means public service. I hope to help shape public policy in positive ways, ways that endure after I am dead. I may not pull it off, but that’s the goal. Even though I’ll be gone, my preferences and values - in the form of laws, or regulations, or agency practices - will live on.

The randomness of misfortune is unpleasant - but there’s a good point I heard about that: Wouldn’t it be so much worse if it weren’t random? If someone “up there” thought you truly deserved all the bad things that happen to you? The death of your pets, the painful break-up, your month-long bout of flu? The death of your loved ones? For that matter, what about all the bad things that happen to other people? The deaths in wars, AIDS, violence, and on and on and on. Far better to view these things as the results of human agency, or simple chance, than to think there’s some fiend in Heaven responsible for dishing them out.

Most important - I find atheism to be a genuinely cheerful, uplifting worldview. Our only shot at immortality may be through our deeds in our life - but they’re our deeds, not the whims of some deity! Anyone with the skill, and dedication, and a bit of luck, can make their mark upon the world. No need to grovel for divine intervention. If you want someone to care for you, you seek out other people, who care for you because you’re good and interesting, not because you’ve groveled on your knees to an invisible man. Atheism is freedom, nothing more or less than that.

18

I find it far more cheerful than the thought that we are the eternal victims of an invincible, all power, all seeing egomaniac. God is only a comforting concept if you are a toady, or don’t think about the implications too hard. You seem like an example of the latter.

If there WAS a God, there’s no reason to think he cares about you. If God cared, he’d do a better job. He’d make the world better, he’d make us better. I prefer people, who DO on occasion care about one another, and do far more good than God even if he exists.

Better to die and be erased, than to either scream forever for God’s entertainment, or grovel forever for God’s ego gratification. Enjoy what you have now; make the world a better place now, and be glad you CAN without some God ordaining that the world is supposed to be the way he’s commanded it.

As already said, that’s far superior to the alternative.

Since he was an atheist he’d be too busy screaming in Hell to be much company. An afterlife run by a monster like God, is an afterlife I am VERY glad is imaginary. Annihilation after death is much better than that.

I’d rather be right. Especially when the reasons for your happiness are things that you are better off having been wrong about.

There is no God, and that’s a GOOD thing.

19

Atheism is better than religion because you can have all the benefits of religion and none of the drawbacks.

Religion gives you comfort in times of stress and helps lessen the fear of death. Those are admittedly good things. So why not keep those good things and toss everything else?

I’m an atheist, but I still pray and talk to God when I am in a stressful situation.

“Please God… I know I don’t believe in you, and I know I am probably lying when I say I want to be a good person, but please help me.”

It calms me down.

As for death, I just tell myself I will go to heaven, and my heaven is a lot better than the kind of heaven you would expect the God of the bible to have. Do I believe it? Of course not. But if you keep telling yourself something, it can make you feel better even if you really don’t believe it.

20

A lot of great responses above. Since Arthur C Clarke was mentioned, I thought I’d bring up his thoughts on the subject:

"Perhaps it is better to be un-sane and happy, than sane and un-happy. But it is the best of all to be sane and happy. Whether our descendants can achieve that goal will be the greatest challenge of the future. Indeed, it may well decide whether we have any future. " Sir Arthur C Clarke