He’s an ass-kisser, a busybody and a shameless self-promoter. And those are his good points. His bad points? He’s a backstabber, a megalomaniac and a braggart. It’s so much fun to work with him I could just scream with glee.
Tell me about the scumsuckers you work with so I’ll feel better.
I hate Frank. Frank is a retired senior VP who for some reason decided to get a job with our library instead of consulting work like most of his fellow retirees. The problem is that Frank still thinks he’s a VP, even though he doesn’t actually even supervise anyone. He yells at the other librarians, he’s rude to the customers, and he starts pointless arguments in staff meetings just to prove how smart he is compared to us peons.
Frank’s also a bully. He tried yelling at me before I gave him my best angry squad leader voice and threatened to report him to H.R. if he so much as looked at me wrong ever again. Frank backed right down. What a coward! He’s so used to people scared of him that the moment someone calls him on it, he backs right down. He even looks like an asshole. He’s short and twitchy, and he’s always this scowl semi-permanently glued onto his face. How he survived in the Greater Boston Area without getting shot to death by some pissed-off drunk is beyond me.
On another note, I’m an army vet. I used to work on farms and in factories. I have worked the graveyard shift alongside diagnosed autistics, psychotics, schizophrenics, born again Christians, and other annoyingly dangerous types. Frank was the first guy I have ever felt the need to threaten like that, and believe me, I’ll follow through on it, too.
Ah, Bob - what an ass! Back before Y2K, Bob was laying in supplies of food and ammo - he was sure it was gonna hit the fan - the radio preachers told him so. :rolleyes:
OK, fine, that didn’t pan out. That doesn’t make him an ass. But the endless whining, bitching, complaining, and condemnation has gotten old. No one does anything right. Management is incompetent. Coworkers are morons or ass kissers.
Since he’s been moved from an office to a cubicle, I don’t think he sleeps at work any more - maybe that’s why he’s always so pissy.
I do not like Bob.
I’m not working right now, but boy do I have a memory from my last job. G, the bosses’ girlfriend. No, she didn’t work for the non-profit I worked for, that her boyfriend ran. Yes, she still felt like she had the authority to tell me what to do. Not just what to do, but how to do it. Her qualifications? She was a maid, and she slept with the boss.
She was one of the major reasons I quit a job I loved more than any other I’ve had.
I seriously dislike Dan. If he thinks anyone is questioning him, he becomes very rude and insulting. Today, He badmouthed my customer - to my face, while she was standing right behind him. He then basically told her she was a liar and stupid. He also treated me like I’m an idiot - because I was on the customer’s side (she was right - it does happen occasionally). The only reason I didn’t bitch him out in front of everyone is that I’ve been warned that he has a slight temper problem and I didn’t want him totally losing it.
I apoligized to the customer and complained to the manager as soon as I could. I was working in that department as a favor to management. I was tired and my shift had actually ended 2 hours earlier. I didn’t need the kind of treatment he gave me and neither did my customer. I had heard stories about him before but I dismissed them as regular retail bullshit. Now I know differently and I will avoid him as much as possible. This should be easy since we don’t actually work in the same department. But, since this is a holiday weekend and his department is running a huge sale, they need help and I’m the only one willing to do it.
But you can be damn sure his department head will know that I’m not putting up with his shit this weekend.
I’m getting really fed up with Lisa.
It isn’t my business to tell Lisa that she shouldn’t cheat on her husband, but it’s also not right of her to ask me to lie to the poor man about where she is.
It’s not my business to say she shouldn’t smoke pot or drink, but it’s not right of her to expect me to run the restaurant and take care of her drunk ass when she decides it’s party time in the middle of a shift. Furthermore, I shouldn’t have to corral her into the kitchen to keep her from running around slurring to all the poor uncomfortable customers about how she and all the employees except me are drinking…
it’s not my business to say she shouldn’t be a party girl and tell raunchy jokes around the guys, but when they’re behaving inappropriately with me and nobody will do anything about it, that’s not cool. Even less cool is when everyone’s partying and she’s actually encouraging it. “go give her a kiss. Aww, isn’t she cute?” “niña over there has no tits. See, amigo? come over here, Dorothy. show them.”
It’s really not my place to tell her that her racist comments are appalling and ignorant, but I hate being put in a position where I’m expected to treat someone badly or differently just becuase they’re black. I hate being told I should ignore the black customers and serve the white ones first becuase the black ones won’t tip me, or being told I’m not to do anything to reimburse a customer if they have a complaint because, “black people? probably lying.”
And the other girl? it’s her business if she wants to be lazy and not work. It turns into my business when she gets paid days off or gets to go home early and I don’t just because she’s not actually doing anything and I am. A good manager would not reward laziness- she’d tell the other girl to get off her ass, quit talking on the phone, and do what she’s being paid to do.
I’m very seriously considering quitting this stupid job.
Despising a duo of debbie’s.
Hey debra, just because our boss is rich does mean that you will get any. If he was a wife beating, drunken, classless, cheating, mysogonistic bitch with her, he will be one with you and frankly, you deserve it. Remember that when he punches you in the face and you can’t use that huge diamond to hide the bruise. Oh, you worked with his wife, you saw her bruises, you can’t even claim to not know. The fact he doesn’t visit his child or pay child support is a bonus for you too, I suppose.
Hey Debbie, stop sucking off management to keep your job because you are such a drug addled junkie that we can predict your moods according to payday. BTW, badgering a pregnant women who is killing herself to keep her job so she won’t lose her health insurance is really the lowest form of low. Oh, btw, I just found out YOU are the one that was busted sucking off the HR director in a stairwell. Class act, the both of you.
Oh, Baby Huey, you really are a piece of work. Pull a clue out of your ass, will you? That little asian girl that is 1/3 your age is looking for a green card.
And you should. Immediately.
I feel so lucky, compared to what you’ve all posted. I have had bad cow-orkers in the past, but here they are more amusing than hated. I wish all of you the best of luck - No corribundum illigito! (or whatever the hell that fake Latin quote is.)
Prasad. Prasad is deaf, mute, and from India. I think he uses his religion (Hindu?) and disabilities to get away with shit that would get anyone else here a meeting with HR within a week.
I hate Lisa. Lisa is doing a rental deal, and pretty out some stuff that included e-mails from someone who was fired from out company because she commited a serious breach of ethics. I found the e-mails on the downstairs printer and gave them to my supervisor. Lisa says “it was nothing” and that I’m the only one “making a big deal about it.” The person they are trying to rent to has one of the worst credit reports I’ve seen. I think it is a very big deal. There are too many red flags here.
I don’t like R, and I’ve never liked R, and I never will like R. He is a two-faced liar who acts all sweet and nice. He once threatened “I’m going to fuck you up,” not knowing the UPS guy was standing in the doorway. He doesn’t bother me much anymore. Yesterday though the Boss told him to rewrite something, and he told me to rewrite it myself, so I told the Boss what he said.
I do not like Mike
Would you like Mike tied to a Goat?
Would you like Mike punched in the throat?
Would you like him hit by a car?
Would you like him given a scar?
Would you, could you wish him harm?
Would you, could you break his arm?
I would like him tied to Goat or punched in the Throat.
I would like him hit by a car and given a big scar.
I do wish him harm, I would break his arm.
Disclaimer: these silly lyrics are in no way to be taken seriously. I mean no harm to anyone named Mike. If fact the only Mike I know is one of my best friends. There are no Mikes that I work with. It is all in jest and your mileage may vary. Reading this fine print may cause rectal pain or eye strain. Take with food.
Jim
Yeah, sleeping with one boss is bad, but all of them!?!
I hate E. She is a know-it-all and I could swear she lies. I have heard that she is the best at acting really busy and not actually accomplishing anything.
I hate Tom.
Listen, Tom. Having testicles does not mean that you are better than me. Stop getting huffy because I don’t “obey” you. I’ve been here many years longer than you. I have a better title, a better office, and *of course * I make more money than you. And carrying tales to Boss about me is not going to hurt me; it just wastes your time and annoys the Boss. Stop treating me as if I should be glad you figured out how to stop that annoying ringing sound by picking up the phone. And listen to me… I do not gossip. Period. If Boss is out of the office, do not expect me to tell you everything I know about him. Boss is my friend; you are not. You are a weasel.
I hate you all.
Except for the cute one, I don’t hate you at all.
The rest of you can go to hell.
I like Mike
What’s not to like?
He’s the best darn thing to come down the pike
in a good long while
(sound warning: link is to a remix of Jay Spears’ “I Like Mike” song)
They all have their annoying points here, but I don’t hate any of them.
Except that I despise the fact that everyone else takes so many fricken smoke breaks en masse, leaving me here alone to answer the fricken phone. I hate answering phones with the white-hot burning of a thousand suns! A plague on the smokers for doing this to me!
The last co-worker I hated, despised and just generally did not like is long gone. That’s usually the way it is here. Eventually they get booted. This guy, however, is a real piece of work. He gave me as a personal reference for a job he applied for recently. :dubious: Of course all they got was the general, “Yeah he worked here” reply, but still… :dubious:
At least it gave us cause for much amusement at work that day. I wouldn’t trash him over the phone, but I sure as hell did in the break room during lunch.
Non illegitimi carborundum. Or Nil Carborundum Illegitimi. Or perhaps…
I’m not crazy about B. I don’t hate her, but I really don’t care for her. She comes into my office at least once a day, and talks for 10-15 minutes, regardless of how busyI am (or try to look when she walks in). She argues with me about the answers to my trivia questions. She tells me her woes about the guys that she felt inspired that she would marry or be involved with. You know, the ones who try to gently let her down by saying that they’re happy with their wives or they don’t feel the same way about her. She tells me about her Jedi Knighthood. And she makes this really gross face instead of just saying that she’s annoyed by something. And she weighs 450 pounds. Okay, I don’t know how much she weighs, but she looks like she weighs 450 pounds. And she stinks. And she has eczema on her rarely-washed face and it looks as though she doesn’t wash her hair. And she hasn’t been performing to company standards for months, and I’ll be surprised if she’s there much longer. And I feel sorry for her, but I still don’t like her.
I hate M. She lied her way into her job. For some reason, she thinks that she can fool the 3 of us, who each used to her job, about how busy and stressed she is. She’s stressed and overwhelmed because she lied about her skills. She thought she could “learn on the job.” There are some jobs that it is ok to learn as you go. This isn’t one of them. If she was who her resume said she was, she would be doing fine. She isn’t, and she’s not. She doesn’t understand anything and even worse, refuses to ask questions until it’s far too late. She hangs on to emails for weeks before finally asking about them. She’s incompetent, stupid, a bully and extremely obnoxious. Why am I giving a remedial course in Word to someone who said she was an expert in using Word? Fast learner? Hah! She’s been here seven months and she still doesn’t grasp anything. I don’t know why she’s still here. Maybe I should be blasting E. E, why are you such a coward? Get rid of M already. She’s destroying morale, not just in our group, but in the group we provide service to. It’s killing me to watch her destroy in a matter of months what took years for me to build. And to top it all off, this lazy, lying, thieving bitch makes more than my co-worker and me, especially with all that overtime she’s been putting in. Bah! I need a new job. Are there places where co-workers aren’t psychotic and supervisors don’t have pets and favorites?