I hate my job and I don't know what to do--TLDR

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I took this job thinking it was going to be a great opportunity, and instead, it is just horribly dismal. My boss is a disgusting boor, and my other co-worker is a meek little mouse who lets him get away with whatever he wants to do. I have no idea how the guy who had my job before me handled it, or why he quit, but I am so uncomfortable that I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.

Two weeks into the job I started having some lower back pain. It started pretty mild, but over the last three months it has gotten worse and worse. By the time I leave there at the end of the day my back feels like it is just twisting up. It’s horrid. I’ve gotten a new chair, they had an ergonomic guy come out, everything, and I am still in constant pain while I’m at work. I swear it has to be the stress. The messed up thing is that the work itself isn’t stressful at all, it’s just the environment.

Before this place I worked at a big company with lots of people, and I had some friends there who I talked to every day. I never realized how nice that was until now. This job is so lonely I just feel like I’m going to cry several times a day.

I knew from the first week that the boss and I were different, but it didn’t take him very long to show his colors. He’s a racist, misogynistic pig, and he’s a control freak in the office. Every day we have to listen to his music or talk radio that he decides on. There is no negotiation. Everything he does just grates on me, and I’ve gotten paranoid enough to think he does things just to get on my nerves.

Some of you might remember my thread about the day he referred to some of our editors as “lesbo feminists who kill their babies.” Well, after I made a complaint on that the office has been so tense that it’s unbearable. It’s silent except for the low volume of music or whatever coming from his desk. No one really talks all day. I hate walking over to the printer because I feel like he hates me so much and there is just this vibe that I pick up every time I’m anywhere near him.

And I also have been getting what I feel is the squeeze from his boss, the guy I made the complaint to the day of the incident. This guy will walk into our office and not even acknowledge me. It’s like I don’t even exist there. Today they were all laughing over an email and I hadn’t even gotten it. I have maybe enough work to stay busy for two hours of the nine hour day. I don’t know how to handle it. It’s not direct hostility, but I almost feel like they are trying to make me quit. I don’t know what else to think.

This morning I woke up and thought to myself, “I can’t believe it’s only Thursday.” And then, duh, I realized that it was TUESDAY. :smack: It’s inconceivable that I have to endure three more days this week.

And I know I should just be happy that I have a good job, but it’s hard to feel anything positive about the situation. I dread going back on the job search, but right now that’s my only option.

Sorry this is so long, I just had to vent.

2

My condolences that it didn’t work out. Good luck with finding something better.

3

I’ve had jobs like this. Not exactly like this, but with that same feeling of dread when you wake up. My advice is to not go for another day, unless not going is going to result in you starving or being homeless. Indianapolis is a fairly large city, right? Wouldn’t even working at McDonald’s until you find something better be better than this? Fuck 'em, I say. You don’t owe them anything, especially if they are treating you badly. Life is too short to keep going to a job you hate.

4

I hear ya. I left a job just like that last year only to walk back into a similarly bad situation with my current employer. My last day is Friday.

The sad thing is these kinds of bosses probably sit around harrumphing and thinking to themselves, “How can it be so hard to find good help these days?!”

The stories I could tell. Oh man. Let’s just say I learned the hard way that when they say “This company is like a family” they mean it in the dysfunctional sense.

Getting back into the job hunt is a pretty scary proposition, but I’m a firm believer in always keeping a resume out there, even when you’re satisfied with your job. You never know when that will change due to circumstance beyond your control, and if you’re keeping your resume up to date and even interviewing occasionally then you’ll have the confidence to go out there and jump back in with both feet.

Hope you find something better around the corner.

5

If that was even an option, I’d just quit. But I am closing on my house in two weeks and I absolutely can’t afford to be unemployed for one minute. It’s weird because I am so overjoyed about my new house, but I am skeered too because I know there’s an expiration date on this job.

I’m tempted to just go to my old company and try to get another job there. I left on pretty good terms, so I think they’d take me back. But it’s only been a few months so I feel weird about it. I just might have to bite the bullet on this one and give them a call.

6

Oh yeah, Indy, I’ve been there. I used to work at an insurance firm (Note to all high school students wondering what they want to do with their lives: Whatever your dream career turns out to be, it’s probably not going to have anything to do with working in an insurance firm.), and the attitude problems and general dysfunction there were amazing! People who would gossip and talk behind each other’s back like they were bitchy high school rejects, only these people were in their 50’s. Ugly and cretinous . . . They seem to have hit their peak a few decades ago. My boss wasn’t a racist turd like yours, but he was wishy-washy, and he didn’t want to deal with stuff.

I really tried to get along with them. I tried to hide my feelings, but I don’t think anyone is quite that good at surprise, and before long, I started to feel the freeze-out.

How bad did it get? After I finally left the company, the only job I could get for a couple of months was the graveyard shift at the home depot. My six-man team had something like 35 years of hard prison time between them. And I liked my team, and I liked that job way better than I liked fixing the computers of those frigging insurance creeps. If I had to choose between them today, I would take the Home Depot job hands down.

Indygrrl, I hope it works out. If it makes you feel any better, things eventually work out. They did for me; I’m in an academic library and loving it. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

7

Aw, that sucks that flat out quitting isn’t an option. The only thing worse than a hated job is being stuck at a hated job. But take heart- when you do find a job that you’re completely comfortable at, the feeling of freedom and acceptance among your co-workers is wonderful. Made even more so because you’ll remember this crappy job and how it felt. Good luck with getting out and being happy.

8

And what does TLDR mean? I’m sure it’s something completely obvious and I’ll be like, oh of course, but right now I’m just not coming up with it.

9

I would at least talk to the people at your old company. You have absolutely nothing to loose; hell, they may be missing you as much as you miss them, and be thrilled to have you back. Give it a try, you don’t have to quit your present job until you find something new. If the old company doesn’t have anything now, send your resume out to anyone that sounds interesting. Most companies that advertise that applicants need X number of years experience will settle for no experience if you present yourself well–good help *is * hard to find.

10

Oh, and good luck! And congratulations on your house! I will get better.
(And what is TLRD?)

11

My job was fine until about three weeks ago, when my “boss” started behaving like a complete dick. He always had it in him but I’d pretty much managed to avoid working on any of his stuff for several months. He’s completely insane, incapable of speaking in complete sentences, and has a horrible tendency to change his mind, not say anything, and then get pissed off when things aren’t done to his liking. He’s one of those petty tyrants who’s so insecure and stupid that unless something is done in precisely the way he’d do it, it’s wrong. The last straw was a couple of days ago, when I sent him an e-mail answering a question and I closed it with “Am I missing something?” His response: “If that’s really your response, you’re either lazy, cavalier, or you don’t know what you’re doing.”

That’s nice. Last time I’ll ask him anything, the jerk.

12

I’ve been applying for jobs online, maybe something will pan out. Heh, really, I’ll bit at any offer. lol

TLDR=Too Long Don’t Read
It’s an old thing some friends and I post on our mbs when we know our story is long and mostly boring. :smiley:

13

No, your story isn’t boring and I’m sure many of us have been in the same sort of situation. I know I’ve been.

I was in a situation so bad that I ended up being clinically depressed and seeking counseling. The division chief was a tyrant and treated me like a child. He literaly told me to do and analysis of my analysis one time. No, that’s not a typo. It really happened. My team leader was a weak, lying, bumbling idiot, and I can’t tell you how many times my ass was chewed due to his screw-ups. I had the same feelings of dread, pain and illness that you’re experiencing.

My husband told me to quit my job, but I couldn’t see throwing away all the time I had invested in service and I saw quitting without prospects like they were “winning” somehow.

Happily, I’m no longer at that organization and I work for a terrific division and for a great boss. I’m treated like and adult, as part of the team, and am encouraged to seek out solutions on my own, rather than ask for permission for every step of my job.

I really hope that you can find a different job soon. It’s worth checking into your old company, at least. The worst they can do is say there’s nothing available at the moment.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.

14

Sometimes these things do get better. I had a feud about a year ago with one of my coworkers, and it was the same sort of freeze-out that you describe. He and I did not talk to each other, then my boss stopped saying “good morning” to me, and I got so stressed at a job that was otherwise really great. Finally the boss decided that the whole thing must have been my fault so told me that I’d better stop ignoring the coworker. (Actually, I think Coworker complained to Boss about me ignorning him… what?? He’s the one who stopped talking to me! Gah!)

Anyway, we never talked about the “issues.” I just started going to him with questions, tasks, etc. and we redeveloped a working relationship. We’re not friends; we don’t talk at all about non work stuff and tend not to say “good morning” or “good night” to each other. But at least the tension has gone away and I can come to work without that sense of dread.

If you can’t/don’t find another job, hopefully something similar will happen for you. You don’t have to like your coworkers, just be able to make it through a day with them. (I say as I’m about to leave this job and all the past coworker related crap. :stuck_out_tongue: )

15

Had the same problem. I had worked at a LARGE insurance company, where the people were good, the job was OK, if sometimes awash in red tape, and I wanted to pursue somethign different.

So, when a job for more $$ at a small family-owned brokerage firm opened up, I took a leap. Made more $$, enjoyed it for about a month, and then became subject to “the dread”.

The family patriarch was an ass, the son was an ineffectual ass, and the long-timers were…well, you guess (hint: begins with “a”, and ends with “s”)!

Hated going in, hated being there, and hated having to make up work to do for my 8 hours (same situation…2 hours work). Sucked HARD.

I turned around and applied at an even bigger corporate behemoth than my first one. More pressure, but I love it, and it pays better.

I don’t know what you do, Indygrrl, but I know there are tons of insurance companies in Indy. Not to say it’s the cat’s pyjamas ('cause it ain’t), but I know that there are slots for most professions in a huge insurance corporation.

Good Luck, and get out!

-Cem