I hated small dogs...

I used to hate cats, having grown up in a home where we bought a male and female and they both reproduced a few thousand times over. I don’t know if my Mom and Dad were trying to inflict their Catholic idea of no contraceptives on the cats, or were just short of money and couldn’t afford the vet, but God damn that flock of cats put the icing on the cake of my already awkward teen years (ever go to school in shoes that the male cat sprayed, and only notice the spraying when stepping out the door? I can sadly raise my hand more than twice).

Until this year, I have hated cats.


Until my niece’s kitten came along and changed all that; he is the most adorable and affectionate cat I ever knew. Hell, I think I visit my sister more for the cat than for her and her kids.

Unfortunately, she has a small dog (a pug) that drives me nuts; as soon as the garage door opens, she is mewing and scratching at the window above the driveway like a crack whore waiting for her next hit.

Ok, that isn’t so bad (just annoying). I understand that she misses her owner. I understand that she feels a need to announce any new person coming to the house.

But why the hell do the little dogs across the street have to bark and yap at any vehicle that passes their yard? There could be a lady bug clawing along the street in front of that house and those damn dogs would go nuts. Does my sister’s pug? Nope, she knows that the lady bug ain’t coming to the house, and if it were, she wouldn’t be getting thingl.

Secondly, why the hell do those people leave their manicured, white, curly little dogs on the lawn so often?

Ok, now that I think further about it, this little pug kicks ass (yes you do!, you little puggy-wuggy!) it’s the damn little dogs across the street that piss me off so much: so white and curly and full of attitude. Do they really need to bark at everything!?

Yes. Yes, they do. Next to us is what we refer to as The Inn of the Barking Dog. They have one of those little, yappy, untrained mutts that sits in the upstairs window all day waiting for someone to come walking by with their own shit machine in tow (in Portland, there are an average of 700 dogs per household, so this is a frequent occurrence). It then launches itself off the windowsill and out the upstairs door (which the owners conveniently leave open 24/7), barking furiously until the other dog is out of sight. I wish to harm this animal and it’s owner.

[Raoul’s Wild Kingdom]
Today, on Raoul’s wild kingdom, we’re teaching poodles how to fly! Are you ready, Fifi?

I will always hate cats.

I do hope you’re referring to the pug and not your sister…although on second thought, the latter would be a far more amusing mental image. :smiley:

(ducks and runs)