Well, Sunday I was teaching in the afternoon and then I had to run to the grocery store before the pharmacy closed… before I turned around it was about 6… a college friend called… it was 7. I called my dad, the line was busy. I called at 8, the line was busy (what the…?) I called at 9, the line was busy.
I emailed, thinking he was online. My email went something like “Dad, are you online? I’m trying to reach you but keep getting a busy signal. Happy Father’s Day!”
At 10:30 I called, the line was busy. I called my mom’s cell phone (turned off or out of range, went right to voice mail) and left a message like “mom, I keep getting a busy signal. I’m trying to reach dad. Call me back if you get this message.”
Then I went to sleep, having not “officially” spoken with my father on Father’s Day.
Monday around my lunchtime I called again. Dad picks up the phone “Dad! I finally reached you! I…”
“I’m busy*, I’ll call you back”
“…? okay…”
<click>
*My parents spent the weekend at their small vacation house out on Long Island. I cannot imagine what business he could be occupied by that he couldn’t exchange a few words if he wanted to.
Well he didn’t call me back. I emailed again, apologizing for not reaching him and explaining about the busy signal, my final line was “these explanations aren’t that important, what’s important is that I was thinking of you on Father’s Day, and I wanted to wish you well, With Love, HelloAgain” No reply.
Father-Daughter Realtionship background:
My dad can be somewhat, shall we say “moody?” (I think I would say “big whiney selfish baby.”) We haven’t had the greatest of relationships since about High School (I’m 27). He hassles me constantly because I choose to live in the Midwest, its quite unthinkable to him. Whenever we speak I get the distinct impression that he feels I’m wasting my life (my priorities are just different than his right now). He is a city guy through and through. I have a quiet life that I enjoy, and spend most of my free time and money on my horse. They want me to call weekly, but its hard when most of my weeks go like “work, horse, teaching, consume food, see movie” repeat. I don’t always have something to say, and I am not emotionally close with either parent (a little more so to my mom).
I’m supposing he’s upset with me for not calling on Father’s Day, but I’m not exactly sure what to do about it. Its complicated by the fact that my parents got me a very nice gift for my birthday (a camcorder) and I would like to call and thank them, since it arrived in the mail yesterday, but I am not looking forward to the usual round of bitching and guilt because I am an ungrateful daughter. I don’t feel I screwed up that badly, and also that a reasonable person would take into consideration my many attempts at communication. However, I feel that if he had accepted my apology and explanation, he would have replied by phone or email by now.
Oh, and the gift thing: I didn’t send a gift, but when I was home for Passover I gave him a book I thought he would like “just 'cause.” I’m really opposed to the whole “Hallmark Holiday=Automatic Gift Giving Obligation Thing.”
So, where do I go from here? Any ideas on what the right next move would be? Did I really screw up worse than I think I did? Help!