I’m going to call it The No Shitty Acoustic Music Cafe.
It’ll have coffee and food and stuff.
And NO shitty acoustic music!
Yeah! Techno all the way!
Yeah no thats gay.
But on a more serious note, I agree. I cant stand the music in alot of cafes. I wish it was just… quiet.
You mean quiet enough to hear everyone chomping on their asparagus tips and slurping their espressos? No, thanks.
Anybody ever try classical music in a cafe? After all, having coffee while writing in your moleskine notebook and Apple products while appearing to enjoy classical music are very white things to do.
Light classical,urban jazz, ambient techno like ancient Brian Eno’s Ambient, hell Ravi Shankar’s recordings of sitar music. Whatever you pick, play it at almost inaudible level. You are there to chat and swill coffee, or relax. You want to club, go to a club.
If I have to listen to more damned emo kids plunking away on a guitar I may scream. Hell, calypso would be better.
Asparagus tips? What kind of weird cafes do you frequent? I usually just get the biscotti.
It’s right next to the lavender ice cream. 
Don’t forget the no bad artwork for sale hanging on the walls.
and the “no pretentious Great Works of Literature on the bookshelf” rule.
(and congrats on having the most relevant username in the thread )
I find it’s usually the most relevant name in any thread.
Will the servers be allowed to have tats and piercings?
I have a great location for your new cafe…right next to a place with lousy Chinese food, a Subway, and a Der Wienerschnitzel!
By the way, will you have liver on the menu? How about onion rings?
I have another idea for this cafe:
Anyone seen turning the spout on the top of the milk carafes to the off position will have their hand broken.
Who the hell does this?! Just leave the freak’n thing open! It’s not like it won’t be used within 5 minutes of you using it.