Get a Cat Genie. That’ll cut down on some of your headaches.
This is part of the reason why I’m afraid to get married. Might get stuck with a crazy cat lady.
According to my handy dandy converter chart,
1 dog = 1 large dinner with leftovers
1 cat = 1 dinner
1 bunny = 1 large snack
Just sayin’.
What your wife is doing is terribly unfair. Would it be possible to get a responsible neighborhood pre-teen to take over some of the animal care chores for you at a reasonable price?
Clumping litter: the laziest to get away with - fill boxes 3-4 inches deep. Scoop EVERY DAY. Refill (add new) every few days to keep level at 3-4 inches. Once monthly, dump the boxes completely, clean with soap & water and refill. (I go through about 20 pounds of litter every 2 weeks with 3 cats and 2 very large litter boxes)
Non-Clumping litter: fill and keep filled to levels as above. Scoop daily, but this kind of litter needs to be changed out completely once a week.
The litter boxes should be in a couple of different spots if possible, but if your cats aren’t having any out-of-box issues then what you’re doing is probably fine. Litterbox issues are the number one reason for people to be disgruntled with their cats, and it’s usually because people are really uneducated about what makes cats happy with their bathrooms.
Scooping daily is really important. Many of the parasites and diseases cat feces can contain need 24 hours or more to become a problem. Scoop around the same time every day and no problems. With indoor-only cats there’s not much risk, but really, it’s just sanitary, and asking for trouble if a cat should decide it’s too icky to use. Cat’s are fairly clean creatures and they prefer a clean box. Yours sound amazingly tolerant, I’m surprised they haven’t started pooping/peeing just outside the boxes where it’s less dirty.
You’re right that your wife should be doing this, though! She has absolutely no excuse. I have three cats, work two jobs, and scoop the boxes every day plus meal feeding canned food twice a day.
It sounds like the rabbit is unsocialized and neglected. If she’s taking care of it as well as she was the litterboxes, well I’m sure there’s a local rescue that will take it.
The dog? I don’t know. All the walking a dog usually needs, I think it’s more work than scooping boxes and feeding cats. Since you’re home, it really is probably more on you for that one. I would think the dog’s more bonded to you anyway?
So, walk the dog and wash your own clothes. She gets to take care of the cats and the rabbit. If she doesn’t scoop the boxes like she’s supposed to every day, then perhaps a gift on her pillow at night will get the message across (or maybe in one of her shoes… I have a nasty streak toward people who shirk responsibility). After all, this is The Pit.
There is no such thing as three cats. Like some primitive tribes which are reputed to have a counting system which only encompasses one, two and many, women who own cats can be reckoned thusly: one cat, two cats, Strange Woman With Cats. You, my friend, have married a Strange Woman With Cats.
We have three cats at home we got this year. Two we adopted as kittens and one adopted us. It took us from one to zero to three in the space of six months.
We’re not even coming close to the cleanliness standards we should based upon the recommendations in this thread. I’ve just texted my wife and resolved to at least add a second litterbox to our household. We should have done it awhile ago.
Edited to add: and to talk about the OP: your wife doesn’t really sound like a hoarder. I’m not sure where others are getting that from. But she does sound grossly irresponsible with regards to pets. What was she like growing up? I may sound callous, but how many pets did she kill and/or have her parents take care of for her?
No, I agree with you. If I wanted another pet, Mr. Neville would have to at least be on the “agree” side, or else I wouldn’t get one. Wouldn’t matter if my desire for one was 10/10 and his reservations were 1/10. Getting a pet is a decision on which either of us can say “no”, even if we don’t give a reason, and the other has to accept that.
This was a mistake. Why didn’t you ask her why she wasn’t doing it, and remind her to do it? There’s a time to nag your spouse, much as we all hate being nagged, and that was it.
Unless she’s pregnant or immunocompromised, she should be doing the litter boxes.
This was my impression, too.
That was my first impression reading the OP - she sounds like a kid who begs to get a dog, then plays with it for a couple of days and can’t be bothered after that. The OP is playing the role of the parent who takes over looking after the pet once she loses interest.
I totally agree with this. It was her decision to have so many pets, she needs to own up to it and take care of them. And doing laundry in no way makes up for cleaning up so much poop. You two need to have a serious discussion about the distribution of work here - just because you’re at home all day does NOT mean that you’ve got all the time in the world. Sure, your schedule might be more flexible, but she’s taking advantage of that like no one’s business. Cleaning up all that crap, walking the dog and feeding your wife’s menagerie can take a decent chunk of time. And the amount of resentment you obviously feel about it is not worth the confrontation avoidance.
Good luck. I hope you’re not elbow deep in poo this time next week.
This! I work at home, as well, and I make sure that friends and family know that my work hours are from 8:30 to 5:30 and that they should no more disturb me than they would someone at an actual office all day. On my “breaks,” I might throw some stuff in the dishwasher or do a bit of pre-prep for dinner, but I’m not available to run errands, last minute babysit or chat for 10 or 15 minutes. Yes, I can work in my jammies without showering, but I am still working, not just hanging out.
Sure, it’s nice if you can help out with the pets, but, ultimately, they’re her responsibility. Tell her to do what she would do if you were out of the house for the same amount of time she is every day and let that be your solution. A neighbor kid or whatever.
I didn’t give her the poop nag because I figured she would just turn it into a laundry nag right back at me.
What happens if I agree to do laundry in exchange for poop duty and then she neglects the poop duty?
By the way, she had 2 cats first, and I have bonded with them just fine. In fact one of them takes to me more than it takes to her even though she’s owned them long before I came around.
I bond with the dog just fine.
I do not bond with the rabbit, which sits in a big hutch all the time but occasionally gets to scamper free in the back yard for a half day or a day.
I have not bonded with the new kitty, probably because I don’t want another cat, and my only real experience with it has been feeding it, tripping over it, smelling it, and cleaning up its shit.
You could always just let the cats you don’t want “see the world” so to speak.
Keep in mind that I hate cats with a passion and am rather cruel.
At first, give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she has just forgotten to do it: “Honey, don’t forget to scoop the litter box before you go to bed”
If she still neglects it, it’s time for a serious talk. Don’t just quietly start doing it yourself first, either. “Honey, we need to talk about the cats’ litter boxes. We agreed that, if I did the laundry, you would clean the litter boxes.” It’ll be uncomfortable for both of you, confronting her about it. But it will be better than cleaning up poo all day and simmering in resentment over it. It will certainly be better than doing laundry, cleaning up poo, and resenting her for not doing any of it.
One thing you may want to do is to each make a list of the chores you do. Then get together and compare them. This might bring it out in the open if one of you is doing a lot more than the other. It also brings other possible chore swaps to the table.
Did you make the laundry/poop deal after she got the new cat, or before? If it was before, you should tell her that you signed onto this deal with two cats, not three or however many cats she happens to bring home. It’s only fair that adding a new cat requires a re-negotiation of the division of labor, since an additional cat does require more work.
There is no laundry/poop deal yet. The only deals have been (1) if you get a rabbit, I will not do any work in connection with it; and (2) no new animals without disposing of old animals.
She has kept the first deal.
Not only did she breach the second deal, but I’m also the zookeeper.
If I pushed the second deal, she would probably offer to get rid of the rabbit, but that would save me no zookeeping effort whatsoever in light of the first deal.
I think the solution is a laundry-poop swap and a trip to Petsmart for the Roll n Clean
It appears* amazingly immature and selfish to insist on getting additional animals and then making someone else take care of them. Also immature and selfish to go against spousal wish on any major issue (I consider pets a major issue.) Also immature and selfish to get pets and then ignore them most of the time (poor bunny.)
*appears, because, well, I don’t know you or her, so I can’t judge.
For example, I have a lovebird. The bird found ME, I didn’t go looking for it. The Husband Man did NOT want to keep the bird, because of noise, and mess. So, we tried it for a while, me keeping it as quiet as possible (which, let’s be honest, isn’t very possible. :D) and making sure to keep the cage clean. Now he loves the bird, too, but if he’d tried to “put his foot down” about getting rid of the bird, I’d have tried to find a home for her, because you know what? My husband’s happiness is more important to me than a pet.
(Now, grant you, if he HAD put his foot down, knowing how much I’d already fallen in love with the bird, I’d have resented the hell out of it because he knew how much it meant to me. It’s a conundrum. I don’t claim to be completely logical or sane. :p)
We ordered ours from Amazon.
Doesn’t the ceiling of the thing get coated in poop?
No, it doesn’t. There’s a grate on one side of it, and you roll it so the litter and poop goes toward the grate. The poop shouldn’t get up to the ceiling of the litter box.