NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has support groups in many cites for people dealing with mental illness and for the family & friends of that person. If you live in a big city there are sure to be other groups as well. Also if there is a Gay & Lesbian Center, they can help also.
Good Luck & take care.
ETA: What Truman Burbank said.
Must type faster.
It’s ok to cry. I cry every time I talk to my therapist. Well I did before I had to get a new one. But I hate crying in front of people, but sometimes it just needs to be done. It’s therapeutic in itself in a way. I understand how you feel, cause it’s exactly how I feel. I’ve been dealing with depression for sixteen years and only sought out help within the last year. Just know that it’s not a magic wand that changes everything. It’ll seem like nothing’s getting better for the longest time, and you might feel like it’s not worth it. But after being in therapy and then losing it for four months, I can tell you it does have a positive effect.
So try to be optimistic about it (hard, I know!). And, while others might disagree with me, don’t be afraid of taking medication. It really can help. I know it did for me.
Medication can be wonderful. It can help with the biological stuff so you can then deal with the other stuff. (Unless you’re like my dad and refuse to do what the therapist says. Don’t be like my dad).
Lots of good advice already.
On the day I had my first appointment, I was getting dressed and asked my wife “Does this shirt make me look crazy?”
I guess my real advice would be that if after a few sessions you don’t feel like things are clicking with the therapist, there’s nothing wrong with trying a different one.
I’ll try not to obsess about my outfit tomorrow. But I do want to be sure I don’t give any “lock him away now!” answers to the ink blots! Do they even still do that one?
I just started going again in January to a doc that’s been working on my son for over 5 years and that was a hard appointment to set. Wishing you lots of luck. Here’s hoping you haven’t gotten so used to being “down” that you find “up” unbearably confusing. I struggle with that.
I fourth the suggestion to bare your soul. Then do whatever they tell you.
NAMI sounds good, but I suggest Al-Anon (very easy to find meetings almost anywhere) and Codependents Anonymous. Those programs will help your partner cope with the present, and the past. Even one or two meetings can be illuminating.
Antinor01,
Congratulations for taking the first step. My advice to you is similar to others who have posted:
Disclose all, they’ve truly heard it all, it would be hard to shock them.
Be patient but don’t stick with someone who doesn’t work for you - sometimes it takes a couple or few tries to hit on a good psychiatrist.
Along those lines - if you get the slightest hint of them being judgemental, 1) ask yourself if the facts support your interpretation 2) if they do, change doctors.
I’ll do some updating here, but mostly will probably move to the Ongoing Depression support thread.
The old saying about the journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step.
Congratulations on taking it. Things will work out for you. Keep us posted.
Oh and another piece of advice. If your therapist mentions that you being a pessimist and them being an optimist means you’re a good match, don’t reply with “Yeah, or I might just end up killing you”. It leads to REALLY awkward silences and a lot of backpedaling on your part to explain you were using the figurative meaning of the word.
Aside:
I’m an architect and artistic. At my first meeting my psychotherapist was asking me questions like ‘did I identify with the tortured artist?’ syndrome. By the third session he was dressing decidedly differently - sort of 'hip’ if you didn’t know what ‘hip’ was. I’m the furthest thing from narcisstic but I really got the impression he was dressing for me! He then went back to his suit and tie. BTW, a lot of people in the psych field get into it because they have issues themselves! It doesn’t mean they can’t help, in fact they may be more capable.
Must be Canadian. Poutine is good comfort food, though I believe it’s usually on fries.
Sorry for the hijack.
I’m here, sitting in the parking lot smoking. I don’t want to go in, but I know I need to.
Courage. We’re all pulling for you.
First visit down. It was an initial evaluation to see where I’m at. I have two more scheduled, a medication evaluation and a talk therapy session. It still feels impossible to see a solution but at least we have a direction to go.
Now you’re talking. Well done.
