I have to get the fuck out of this job

DISCLAIMER: Forgive me if I’ve mentioned this before (I know I have), but it is an exceptionally slow day and I am exceptionally bored at work. Or feel free to offer your advice.

Are you kidding me?! It’s almost the end of Q1 and I have done jack-shit here! This company is actually content to let me sit here collecting my bloated salary doing absolutely nothing all day but watching Youtube and surfing the web?! I’d ask my boss if I can help out with anything but she is never around or is always locked in her office. Maybe I’ll see her at the weekly status meeting if it’s not cancelled again.

I’ve been here a year and I’ve had three different bosses and no one has even bothered to tell me what my job even is!

Well what the hell. At least I get to sit here in absolute isolation with no one around me for 6 cubicles and no sound other than the air conditioner vent 50 yards down the hall. Maybe I’ll stroll the quarter of a mile to the other side of the building to where my single report sits so she can give me snide looks.

Maybe the vice president of the department will grace our office with his presence to provide some goals or direction or something. Probably not.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going off to find an empty office, turn off the light and take a nap.

You goof off all day, have a bloated salary, nobody bothers you, don’t have to do anything, your boss knows it, she doesn’t care, and won’t give you anything else to do. Why is any of this bad?

Is the company about to collapse? Are you in danger of losing your job because you don’t do enough? Could you be making more elsewhere? Are you worried that this job will screw up your resume? Are there carcinogens or raw sewage in your office?

I sympathize with your boredom, but isn’t underworked and overpaid better than being overworked and underpaid?

The glass is more than half full, here.

What is it that you do, and if you decide to leave, can I have your job?

Maybe you could post an ad for an assistant. Then you can spend your time reviewing resumes, and you won’t feel bad about wasting company time.

I know exactly where you’re coming from. I, too, am in a boring job, and have been for years. Those of you that think this would be great, think again. Eight hours screwing around on the internet is not fun at all after a week or so. I crave work, I try to create work. I ask for work, offer to help. I want a mentor, I want to be involved! I want to earn my salary!

I’ve asked and asked for all these things. I just sent an email to my boss two weeks ago asking for more work, yet again. I haven’t heard back. My desk is spotless, my files are organized. I spend an hour and a half at the gym almost every day because there isn’t anything else to do. I sometimes come to work late and leave early, and no one cares.

I do about four hours of real work a week, and I hate it. Hate it with a passion.

I, too, am looking for another job. One that challenges me.

This is fascinating stuff. I’ve never heard of this phenomenon. How much (percentage) of a pay cut would you accept to do an interesting job?

Now wait just a minute there, bub…

First of all, I don’t think she really “knows it”. I don’t think she really knows anything at all.

Second, this may come as a surprise, but there actually are people who aspire to do more in their career than the bare minimum possible.

A job can’t really “screw up” your resume (since you can spin it however you like) and it’s a big and reputable enough company that shouldn’t be a problem. However there is the very real problem of not actually gaining any experience or achievements I can take with me to another company. Not to mention, it’s hard to get raises, bonuses, promotions or even keep your job long term if you aren’t doing anything.

Finally, it’s not the company’s time I care about wasting. It’s my time.

I offer to take the OP’s place for a year, and I’ll report back the results.

In my practical experience, it was 40%.

Well, if they pay me this much to do nothing, unless I’m taking crazy pills, someone might be willing to match that for me to do some actual work.

Rubbish. If that was the reason, you’d put in your two weeks’ notice tomorrow.

You’re not wasting your time at all; you have the job so you can collect a paycheck, and thus put a roof over your head and feed the kids and whatnot.

If it’s that great a hardship, go teach or something.

A fool and his money are soon parted. Keep taking money from these fools. If they want to throw it away, you may as well be the one taking it.

In the past you’ve been critical of myself and others in the IT field for not measuring up to your standards of professional behavior or expectations regarding management.

But you’re never happy with any job YOU do.

Hmmm…

Disclaimer: I’m not seriously suggesting anything illegal or unethical, but still, it sounds like you could get yourself another job/side business and do that, or maybe some online courses or something if you’re that bored.

Well boredom sucks, but look at it this way.

You’re getting paid full salary with no work. It’s like unemployment benefits without all the red tape.

Use your free time to look for a new job, maybe network, browse for jobs on the net, fill out apps, pretty up your resume and send it out.

Basically you have unemployment without all the pressure and worry.

Oh and when you leave I get your job.

I called dibs!

Thought about it again and it still sounds like an incredibly sweet deal. Can you read books too? cause that would make it my dream job.

Write a novel. Write business plan for starting your own company. Look around for some consulting work you can do on your current employer’s dime. In short, use their time to improve your life.

Is there something tangentially related to your role that you could learn in the meantime?

Learn a language, a software app, a correspondence certificate, anything? Do some self-paced lessons, get certified in something, build your resume.

(once got my computer A+ certification while idle, just because I was the guy who would unclog paper jams in the copier or replace the fax toner, so I was seen as “that technical guy” :))