Actually, I hear my own voice, being naughty. I think most people do.
Before I start, I want to warn that some of what I’m going to say here is very offensive. Both racially and socially. I do not want to offend anyone, so if you can’t keep an open mind please read no farther.
Ok.
I’ve talked about this with a few close friends, and they say it happens to them too. All of them. And most of them share my attitudes about people in general. So I know that I’m not alone in this.
I’m not a racist, nor am I a chauvinist. I’m a gentle, loving, peaceful, and some say slightly effeminate man, who likes pretty much everyone.
To the question, finally.
Sometimes, not often, but once in a while, these thoughts pass through my brain;
I’ll see a woman, just a regular woman, and my brain say’s “dirty bitch” or something similar.
I’ll see a black man, and “fuckin’ nigger” goes zipping through.
I’ll see a man, doing nothing in particular, and think “idiot”.
That kind of thing. I never say it, nor do I feel the urge to. It’s just a fleeting thought, gone as quick as it comes. And I don’t feel angry or anything. Maybe just a little embarrassed, but that’s it. I’m more embarrassed putting it down here, but my curiosity wins out, as usual.
So, will anybody cop to similar thoughts? And, more important, does anybody know if this has a name?
Sorry if I hurt anyone.
Peace,
mangeorge
MODS, if this turns even slightly nasty, please delete it immediately. Thanks.
I have similar “unwanted thoughts” as you describe. When I’m in a public place, sometimes the most inappropriate, embarrassing or horrible thoughts pop into my head. It might be a bit slightly off center phenomenom, but I don’t think it’s severely atypical or bizzare.
I’m a layperson.
I’ve heard this described as one of the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Look for OCD on the net. I believe these may be related to “automatic thoughts”. Sorry, vague I know, Googling as fast as I can but can’t find a useful cite just yet. The example I read of obsessive thinking was of a person that can’t help feeling they’re about to shout something obscene or blasphemous in church - similar to what you describe.
BTW, I have these types of thoughts too, totally out of character and very shameful to me. It’s like someone else dumps an alien thought in your brain that has nothing to do with your values or belief system. I’ve heard (more vagueness, sorry) that taking certain anti-OCD medications (Prozac?) can ease this type of thinking.
Interesting post, mangeorge, and brave of you to post it. Hope this doesn’t turn into a hatefest.
Here’s a media story about it -
Way more extreme than what you describe, of course.
I don’t recall doing this. Do you guys (assuming you are males) ever have the opposite occur? That is, do you hear voices saying positive things about others? Just curious.
Violet - in my case, no. Always something taboo or “naughty”. Part of it seems to be the “pressure” of trying not to think the thing. Or perhaps the positive thoughts are fleeting and don’t cause internal conflict, so they just dissipate of their own accord.
Maybe theirs a “socialized” part of us that takes society’s values and makes them our own (sort of like what Freud would call the super ego I suppose). Its completly imaginable with our level of social exposure that you were exposed regularly/occasionally to subtle forms of racism. I didnt notice how my mom was subtlely racist (though she has black friends) until we were visiting my grandma in Baltimore and a bunch of black kids crossed the street. She said “Lock the door.” A part of me understood her fear, but then I thought to myself “You know, these kids could be just like me and out having fun meaning nobody harm.” Ive also noticed that people fulfill their stereotypes when in unexplored social territory. For instance, I am a Comp Sci major, often I find myself hanging onto that geeky programmer stereotype as sort of a life raft so people might relate to me. Maybe we become what we are stereotyped as to some degree.
Bottom line IMO we are all racist to the effect that we all make hasty generalizations about other people. The person that tells you race is not a problem needs to have his head checked.
Luckily though we live in an age where racism is almost taboo, so we only need to look out/change our unconcious generalizations/perceptions.
Well, certainly something similar happens with Tourette’s sufferers. There’s a lot going on below the surface in the human mind (I hate to use the term “subconscious” because that carries so much baggage from psychiatry.).
Here’s a possible mechanism that could account for these thoughts without having to assume that all flesh is Vile (and bear in mind that this probably has no relationship to what’s really going on – it’s just an example). There are some theories that the mind is made up of a large number of “agents”, all working more or less in parallel. When you see someone, for instance a woman, the agents involved in social interaction and recognition get activated with various degrees of stimulation. Now note that you have very little control over how these agents are formed – all you have to do is hear a woman referred to as a bitch once, and your brain says, “Oh, here’s a new category for reacting to women, a set of stimuli that will evoke this agent, and an emotional reaction (hostile) to that category.” Now the nature of the stimuli is such that this agent will occasionally trigger upon seeing a woman (possibly resembling some known unpleasant woman in some respect). The signal that this agent sends will be very weak because the level of pattern match leading to the stimulus is weak.
A hierarchy of higher level agents edit the reactions of lower level agents and choose the ones that are appropriate for the occasion. (C.f Selfridge’s Pandemonium Theory). Normally weak stimuli get edited out at a very low level, well before you are aware of them. As part of the brain’s learning process (or just its wacky chemical/analog nature), however, it may occasionally let that signal through to a higher level in order to see whether it is appropriate to strengthen or weaken the stimuli. This level is high enough in the hierarchy of agents for you to be aware of it. You are horrified, provide negative feedback, and the lower level agents say “Whoops, our mistake – sorry Guv, won’t do that again.”
You can see how this model or something similar would lead to what you are observing as well as Tourette's and other similar pathologies. If some of the higher level editing functions don't operate correctly or are slow to react or a low level agent reacts too strongly to a stimulus, you may get the inappropriate utterances of the Tourette's sufferer. If the feedback mechanisms don't work, you might end up with someone sociopathic who reacts inappropriately to a wide class of people.Well, yes and no…I have very few derogatory thoughts about females or people of other races…except that lately I have had rather negative opinions about Arabs in airports. Basically, I wonder why they are still alive. But a couple of things do trigger involuntary thought processes. One is morbidly obese people with a plate of greasy food in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I immediately start trying to guess their age and estimate how long they will live, or how much soap someone could make if they were rendered down. Another is someone driving a car with a poodle in his/her lap, a phone in one hand and something (coffee, cigarette?) in the other. The same words don’t come to mind every time but SOME words do, and they are unkind for the most part: “Who is driving the car…the Goddamn poodle???” Where is Rambo when you need him? Anyway, I am not embarassed about any of this. The thoughts are not horrible and I recognize them as transient and not requiring any action. If I started planning out ways to accomplish any of this I would be worried.
But, more frequently, I have wonderful thoughts about someone I see. What a cute kid, what a nice sunset (ok, sunsets are not strictly on-point, but I have the thought all the time).
I suppose I have negative thoughts about things I dislike or find personally offensive and good thoughts about things I like or find attractive. Hmmmm…I live in the most ethnically diverse county in the United States and we don’t have racial issues here. Does this mean we are all in denial and need more Prozac? 
Well, when I have PMS, (like now, for instance) I think really, really nasty thoughts - you know: “Oh she looks rotten in that dress!” “My God - why would he continue to date her when it’s obvious she’s sleeping with her boss.” etc.
I then mentally bitch-slap myself and it goes away. I think sometimes if I’m just a bit short tempered, I think rotten stuff and it prevents me from saying rotten stuff, or doing rotten stuff. I dunno. Just a thought.
“except that lately I have had rather negative opinions about Arabs in airports. Basically, I wonder why they are still alive.”
tcburnett, this comment, which I think you intended to be humorous, is actually the only one that concerns me in htis thread thus far.
Though I’m not an Arab, I am physically similar, and I must tell you that the way I’m being treated in airports, and the anti-Arab comments in my local newspaper, are both shocking to me, and frightening. Your post isn’t funny for me; it’s disheartening and scary.
I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’ve found that the more I try to control these devilish thoughts the more of a problem they become. The mere act of censoring seems to spawn more bad thoughts; and the more bad thoughts I have the more I try to censor them, and pretty soon my mind is stuck in a positive feedback loop and the inside of my head becomes a confusing tangle of expletives, racial slurs, and grotesque and nonsensical thoughts (seemingly designed to offend me) while my internal censor races around like mad trying unsuccessfully to stamp them all out. It can be very distressful.
I think it’s my brain punishing me for presuming to control it.
Luckily I haven’t experienced this problem in years. I’ve trained myself to ignore the thoughts when they come rather than trying to eradicate them (an exercise in futility if I’ve ever seen one!). Nobody can read my mind, right? So why worry if an unacceptable thought slips through the cracks every once in awhile? My actions are what counts; as long as I can live my life as a decent person what goes on inside my head is completely irrelevant.
Diagnosed OCD sufferer chiming in here: I’d like to say that the OP DOES sound a lot like an “Obsession” to me. In fact, it’s an experience I’ve had now and again…not that I enjoy it. 
I’ve always thought of it as being like that scene near the end of “Ghostbusters,” when Gozer (?) decided to use whatever came to the Ghostbuster’s minds to use against them. As Peter put it, “Don’t think of anything!..If you think of, like, J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will come and destroy us!”
Ah, it’s fun having OCD…just as fun as ripping my toenails out.
Ranchoth
Creepy movie tie-in: Impulse.
Actually I saw a documentary about this a few months ago. It wasn’t just about the mental side of this, but also about the tendency in young boys to mutilate insects and being bullies. This is a normal side-effect of the conditioning of the brain we are subjected to from birth. As long as someone feels bad about the thought or idea, there is no harm whatsoever. As soon as someone tries to supress the thoughts or feels scared that it is their own personality coming out, there isn’t a problem.
I think most people have this to some degree, some worse than others. I know people who are befriended to coloured people, who scream the most vile, discriminating words while in traffic.
Just remember, you are not the complete master of what your brain does. The brain is a very complicated piece of equipment, which is often used for things it actually hasn’t been designed for. Sometimes your brain will creep you out, or embarass you. Just don’t sweat it.
I routinely have thoughts that are opinions about others just as I do of art, the weather, professional athletes, politicians, etc.; critiques, if you will, that are unspoken and known only to me. Not to worry but if it became a problem, talking with a mental health professional would be a good idea. Its refreshing to be reminded of just how crazy “normal people” are.
I’m having a hard time understanding this. Tomangeorge and others who have expressed similar thoughts, are these people doing anything which could possibly inspire these negative thoughts in you? I mean, I can’t imagine just seeing someone and thinking a rude thought unless there was some action on their part that annoyed me in some way. The easiest example I can think of is say you are at least slightly inconvenienced by some random driver, maybe she’s driving too slowly for you and you think “dumb bitch” or something like that. This happens to me but I can’t say I’ve ever thought rude thoughts for no reason at all and I do have some obsessive compulsive traits but not severe enough that I would be diagnosed with OCD.
vinryk, I don’t agree that boys have a tendency to mutilate insects and such. Do you have a cite that this is normal behavior? Growing up, I’ve only known one kid who displayed this kind of behavior and I never did nor did most of my friends.
“Don’t believe in forced entry
Don’t believe in rape
But every time she passes by
Wild thoughts escape”
Bono, U2
Everyone, I believe, judges people harshly when in poor moods. When I am stressed, late, harrassed, everyone I meet is a bastard out to get me / hold me back / annoy me etc… On a good day I see the best in everyone.
I think its more of a reflection of your own present, fleeting mood projected onto others and the situations you find yourself in.
I believe (entering IMHO territory here…) that part of this phenomenon is caused by trying not to think such thoughts. We know these thoughts are horrible, and must not be thought, but the more desperately we try to avoid thinking them, the more they pop into our heads. It’s a bit like the old psychology experiment - “Don’t think of pink elephants!” - what’s uppermost in your mind right now?
breaknrun asked,
Absolutely not. And I bear the subject of the thought no ill-will or malice - the thought is totally out of context and seemingly random.
I think most people have fleeting uncontrolled thoughts, at least most people I’ve talked to do. While intrusive thoughts are a part of OCD (which I have) there’s no reason to worry about a few of them now and then. With OCD the thoughts are much more frequent and can interfere with daily functioning. It’s important to note that the thoughts have absolutely nothing to do with intentions. For example, early on when I wasn’t aware of intrusive thoughts being linked to OCD, I had continual visions in my head of me suddenly grabbing a kitchen knife and stabbing myself in the stomach. I was worried for a long time about what this meant. Turns out it means nothing really. I certainly never had any intentions to carry out the action and I am as far removed from a violent person as you can get. I think of it as my brain having a glitch which throws up these random weird scenes, sort of like dreaming while awake. Although I don’t have a lot of control over when it happens I have found that worrying about it makes it worse. When I stop stressing over whether I’m a bad person or not the anxiety levels go down and the images occur much less often.