On my last birthday I turned one year shy of a quarter century (eek!). One day not long after, I woke up, and suddenly any time I saw a reasonably attractive male under forty-five, my DNA said to me, “He looks healthy enough…capture him! Procreate with him! Make little babies - lots of 'em!” I swear to floyd, I expected my head to start spinning madly any second.
What made it even weirder was a) Im 90% certain I dont ever want kids, and b) for the last several years Ive been mainly attracted to women.
Well, at least now I have an answer for that fruitcake who wrote Cecil years ago asking if her biological clock would go off with an audible ring: Yes. And it’s loud.
You know how in cartoons, somebody looks at somebody else and they see dollar signs or a roast chicken? Id look at a guy and see lots of swimming little sperm.
I always figured the biological clock was an excuse, derived from a fear of being single, or at least that I was too sensible and independent to hear it. R-O-N-G-wrong!
Anybody else out there been broadsided by this delightful bit of our genetic heritage? Have any y-chromosome types heard their clock? Is there a woman in the house past her mid-twenties who HASNT heard it?
Never had any trouble with my biological clock. It’s digital, and I had a power failure some years ago—so ever since, it’s just been blinking “12:00 12:00 12:00.”
Then Holley held Miss Spider’s hand…
I’ll say no more, you understand.
For private moments between spiders
Should not be witnessed by outsiders.
-David Kirk- Miss Spider’s Wedding
I can say that it’s only been in the past year that the idea of actually having a kid has become appealing. I was sorta surprised when I hit the 26/27 range and didn’t hear anything. I’m 30 now, and I’m thinking that maybe in a few years I’ll want to have one.
When El Hubbo and I were dating, we said we’d have one child, someday. One. Then I had a dream that I had quintuplets. He said, “Holy Fluffernutter Sandwiches! You could do that, couldn’t you?”
Then I worked in child care for a while and said to myself, “Not just no, but Hell no.”
El Hubbo and I have gone back and forth on the issue. About once a year we have a slightly inebriated talk wherein we divulge a deep inner need to have children. We set a date to start trying. The next day, sober and alert, we deny ever having the conversation.
I’m 31 and I still don’t know if I want to have kids. I’ll hold a baby or talk to a five-year-old and get pangs. But I can’t stop taking the birth control. If God can get around it, coolio. I just can’t make the decision. Too scary. Especially teenagers. They frighten me.
I’m only 26 but have been trying to get someone, preferrably a surgeon, to diffuse mine since I was 19. Alas, I’m single and have no kids, so no “sane” doctor would agree. What I wouldn’t give for a mild case of something requiring an emergency hysterectomy. Suggestions, anyone?
And no, I don’t hate children; I just don’t want one in my house on a permanent basis.
I’m 26 and don’t have any desire for children or marriage.
My friends who are married or have children talk incessantly about their spouses/children. Do you have any idea how boring that is? I feel so sorry for them - that their whole life has been sucked into someone else’s. Lots of times, my friends lose their identities. (NOTE: I’m not talking about everyone, ok?)
The best thing in my life is that I’m responsible and accountable for only myself. I don’t know if I could give that up permanently. Perhaps that’s selfish, but I think Eve wrote something that I’ve been thinking about a lot in a different thread - “It’s better to be alone, than to wish you were alone”. AMEN.
Although I love kids, at 31 I have no desire to have any…there are times when I see a baby and he/she smiles that a little part of me goes “I want one too” but the feeling passes quickly. They aren’t that cute when they don’t listen, throw a tantrum and you have to change dirty diapers.
Me, I went ice skating with my 2 year old nephew and 4 year old niece. It was not as fun as I had hoped because they can’t skate. I have little patience when I want to skate fast and I can’t. My sis-in-law seemed to enjoy it, but then again for her it’s the joy of her kids.
I will let my brothers’ wives have the babies and have fun with the kids when I have the need to be with kids
My only suggestion is this: make a choice soon, and stick to it.
I waited until I was 37 to have kids. Now my son is 9, and I’m still pretty darn active, but I do wish I would’ve been younger while he was growing up. My body tells me things now that it never mentioned before…especially after an afternoon of sledding or hiking.
Along with love and attention, kids take energy. The more you have, the more time you can spend doing fun, active stuff with the young 'un.
I had my 2 boys young, real young. They will be 13 & 9 in March. I am glad I did, would not change a single thing. We have a blast. I don’t want anymore, I am looking forward to seeing them off to college, and still being young enough to do things on my own and really enjoying it.
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
-Spanish Proverb
I’m in my mid-thirties, happily esconced with a guy who would be a more conscientious waker-upper than I. And the clock is ringing. Since we’ve been together 14 years, now, energy wise we shoulda procreated 5 years ago.
What’s interesting with yer OP, Scarlet, is the ambiguity of the “Life Mate” scenario. If you have the financial wherewithal, and some guy rings the genetic bells, I say go for it, with his full awareness, of course. After 30, the energy level lags, so, I’d advise having kids before rather than later.
When I was about 25 years old, I decided that I didn’t want kids. I was divorced, working at a donut shop, barely able to support myself. A few years later, i met my second husband. he had a one-year-old son already. While we were in the early dating stages, we decided that we didn’t want kids. Then we decided to get married. All of a sudden, I hear this “tick…tick…tick…” and it’s coming from my uterus. I was 28 when we got married. A few months shy of my 30th birthday, we had our first child. Last October, we had our second.
Last November, our family doctor referred us to another doctor who took care of that annoying little tick. Husband recovered nicely.
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead
Hey! I’m 45 and I have all my hair! And very little of it is gray yet!
The wife’s clock never did that funny thing…she had our first kid at age 35 or so.But I think there might have been a slight ring for the second kid.
I’m 22, and I think it’s starting to creep up on me. Like you, Ms. Pimpernel, I am primarily attracted to women, and while I haven’t seen a man and promptly thought “Whoa, mobile sperm bank twelve o’clock!” I do occasionally look in the mirror and suddenly see myself with a great rounded belly and a serene expression… Then I go out see some little brat screaming his head off, and it goes away. Damnation. I don’t want kids. Plus, I have very slim hips. If I ever do give birth, it’s probably going to be the ol’ C-section for me. And on top of everything else, I’m probably still going to be in school if this happens when I hit my quarter-century mark. On top of the economic considerations, I’d have to squeeze my pregnant form into those dreadful chair-desk units. No kids for me, thanks. Do you hear me, ovaries? The answer is NO!
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
