I hope that they have a happy mARRiage

Why is it that there’s never a “Weird things you saw today” thread going on the days when I see weird things?

Earlier today I was visiting one of my favorite seaside tourist communities. As I was walking up the main street, I saw a woman wearing a red dress that I can only describe as… oddly out of place. Like from a different era, but I can’t describe exactly why. She was holding hands with a pirate. He had the pants, the poofy shirt, the vest, the boots, the hat, and the swashbuckling sword.

Odd. There is a place there that will photograph people in period costumes, so maybe that’s where they were from.

A minute later I saw a woman dressed up in a bridal gown and carrying a bouquet. She was holding hands with… a pirate.

A little later I overheard a conversation in which someone mentioned “the pirate wedding.” There is a pirate ship near there that I’ve gone on a few times. They fly a skull and crossbones flag, and Captain Russ and the crew dress the part. I wonder where the ceremony took place.

Whatever the deal was, it has arrrrrsome written all over it. I hope that the happy couple is shivering each other’s timbers later tonight. And I can’t think of a better place for a honeymoon, matey.

Arrrrrr some indeed.

And Im giggling over them “shivering each other’s timbers all night.”

She looked good. I’m sure that she can raise the mains’l and give him a good foc’s’le.

I hope they head up without heaving to very much.

I’ll bet they had dance music featuring The Kinks and The Monkees. You know, from the Davies Jones locker?

I have a sinking feeling that this thread is going to flounder in an endless sea of nautical puns…

she says to the pirate husband/husband-to-be, ‘is that a peg leg or are you glad to see me’?

I bet they had a jolly roger with lots of booty on their wedding night. And I’m sure he thoroughly explored her treasure chest.

I’m sure it’ll not be long before he’s given a lick of the cat.

Not to mention David Bowie. His real name is David Jones, you know.

And then they had sex, right?

…I’m not very good at this.

Hopefully, they’ll leave the poop deck out of things.

I am upset that I was beaten to a poop deck joke. Instead, I will make a lame comment about how the groom “hooked” a nice catch.

I wish we could have gotten away with that.

Last year some of my pirate friends (entertainer pirates, not the real ones off Somalia) asked me if we were going to have a pirate wedding. We’re not that crazy.

I wonder where he buried the family jewels?