First, some background info: Two days ago, I was slicing open a bagel with a bread knife, when I accidentally slipped and sliced into my index finger instead. There was blood everywhere, etc., etc. That’s not the gross part, though. As the cut has healed, it’s left sort of a tough flap of dead skin where I cut into the finger, sort of like a hangnail, but yet on the side of my finger, not my fingernail. Still not the gross part.
Just now I went to rub my eye to get a piece of schmutz out of it, and I accidentally caught the edge of that flap of dead skin ON MY EYE, thus managing to 1) reopen the wound, and 2) lacerate my eyeball, all in one fell swoop. Yes, I am THAT talented.
And be careful not to sever the optic nerve with that sharpened digit of yours. Of course if you do sever the optic nerve, and the eyeball bonuces onto the floor, make sure you don’t trip on it. You could hurt yourself. If, however, you do trip on your eyeball, try to fall limply, and resist the temptation to put your arms out. We’d hate to see a shattered bone pierce your good eye.
But, if you were REALLY talented, you would then rub at your hurt eyeball with your other hand, and the corneal laceration would rip up another finger.
I would just like to thank you for incorporating the word “schmutz” into your post.
I’ve always been tickled by that word.
Sorry to hear about your mishap. I was starting to think that the gross thing you did was bite the flappy of skin off with your teeth (so it would quit bugging you) and ate it (accidentally or on purpose - it matters not). Trust me, this is worse. Much worse.
