you are a very odd man
You’re 0 for 2.
Rock, paper, scissors is a department requirement for most state troopers.
Why?
Because he is reporting a completely uninteresting anecdote of a completely uninteresting event, but the information he chooses to report makes no sense. The information he thinks is important to the story (that he was using a dremel, that his dog was wearing a cone) as well as his interpretation of events, including including details that make no sense and he has no way of knowing (drawing straws) as well as the obvious implausibility of his interpretation (a police officer is scared for his life and ready to shoot, yet approaches alone, because of the nonsequitor that OP is working on his car) is eccentric.
I had an uninteresting interaction when a 911 call came up as my address. A cop knocks on the door as I’m watching TV. I answer.
Cop: What’s going on?
Me: Umm…nothing.
Cop: We received a 911 call from this address.
Me: Umm…OK. I didn’t make one and I’m the only one here.
Cop: You sure?
Me: Yes.
Cop: You’re sure you’re sure?
Me: Yes.
Cop: OK, then.
I later saw in the paper it was some local glitch and calls were flagged as coming from the same block over a few days.
Now, to make up for that story, I did have an interesting interaction with the police one morning. The phone starts ringing at 6am. I have a basement apartment in a house (with a common landline) and the landlord, who usually is abroad, is in town. I’m thinking “nobody is calling me at this hour; answer the phone, landlord”.
Phone rings for about two minutes and then stops. Five seconds later there’s pounding on the door and the phone starts ringing again. I get out of bed and pick it up.
Voice on phone: This is the County Police. Is this so-and-so?
Me: No.
VOP: Who are you?
Me: dasmoocher.
VOP: Open the door or we’re breaking it down.
Me: I’ll be right up.
I go up and open the door. There’s over half a dozen cops on the porch—many with guns drawn.
Cop: Are you so-and-so?
Me: No.
Cop: Is he here? Where is he?!
Me: I don’t know. You just woke me up. He could be over at his girlfriend’s or upstairs or out getting coffee.
Cop: Get out on the porch.
The police enter with guns drawn and fan out, with several going upstairs.
Me: What the hell is going on?
Cop: Be quiet. We have a warrant for so-and-so.
Me: What?
Cop: Shut up and stand there.
Now, this is winter and I’m barefoot and wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. Several minutes go by and they bring out the landlord in handcuffs.
Me [to landlord]: What the fuck is going on?
Landlord [to cop]: Can I talk to him?
Cop: No.
Landlord is put in cruiser and driven off.
Me: What is going on?
Cop: We have a warrant for him and to search the house. Who are you?
Me: I rent out the basement.
Cop: Are you on a lease?
Me: I have one somewhere; not sure where it is.
Cop: Wait here.
Me: Can’t you tell me what this is about?
Cop: NO. Stop asking.
Me: How long is this going to take? I have to get ready for work.
Cop: You can get ready after we search your apartment. Do you have any weapons or drugs?
Me: No. (And would I really admit this, if I did?). It’s cold. Can I come inside?
Cop: You can sit on the couch.
After several minutes, the lead cop says an officer will wait in my apartment while I take a shower. I ask this officer if he knows what’s going on. He says “Sure, but I can’t tell you”.
I get ready for work. They still won’t say what it’s about. I say lock the door on your way out, please, and leave.
I go to work and tell my colleagues the story. My boss jokes that the police should come to my house more often if it gets me to work an hour early.
After work, I see they’ve left a copy of the warrant on the table. I see the charge:
Attempted Murder. :eek:
WTF!
I read the warrant and all the probable cause and stuff they wouldn’t tell me that morning. It turns out he was stalking an ex-girlfriend and had caulked her car’s tailpipe and she claimed the fumes had almost caused her to pass out with driving on the highway. Whether this is possible mechanically, I don’t know, I’ve heard not. I’ve met her and she’s batshit crazy, and apparently, so is he. “Love to hatred turn’d” on both their parts, I guess [He claimed she was also harassing him; the house did get middle of the night phone calls/hang ups (almost only) when he was in town, which would wake me up also].
Around midnight, there’s a rap on my window.
Landlord [through window]: Hey, can you let me in?
I go to the door and open it.
Me: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Hopefully, that was more interesting than the 911 glitch.
The coda is that the prosecutor realized, I guess, these were two nuts and the landlord eventually pleaded guilty to some sort of vandalism charge.
That happens all the time. Boring. This one time I got pulled over for not having an inspection sticker (I was a new driver and didn’t even know what an inspection sticker was) and the guy had me sit there for AN HOUR while he ran my info. Then, get this, he gives me a ticket for not wearing a seat belt because he said it’s a lesser charge. Like, wtf, you can just give someone a different ticket like that? Bizarre.
Maybe someone should start a thread about their most uninteresting and routine encounter with the police.
Oh…
Well, whatever. I’ve never opened the door to cops with their guns out before. YMMV.
But I can empathize with your sticker story. I once got pulled over for having a tail light out. Those fuckers actually said I needed to get it fixed.
I’ll just add mine here.
When my kid was about three, she had a habit of playing with the phone. The old style phone with a cord and buttons. Any which, I guess she managed to type 911 on the phone and then when the operator answered, screeched and hung up. A little later, there comes a knock at the door. The nice lady police officer is there and asks if I or anyone else had called 911. I said I hadn’t but that my daughter might have by accident. The police officer then says that she needs to verify the welfare of said daughter. So I called for her and she comes running up the hallway. Now, the hallway is perpendicular to the entryway so when daughter gets to the end of the carpeted hallway she bursts onto the tiled entryways, slides across on her socks and out of sight through the kitchen doorway. I though the poor police lady was going to fall down laughing. She eventually just turned and walked away.
Once a cop pulled me over at night to let me know the license plate light was out.
I ain’t saying anything.
smart man
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This forum is called Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. My story was mundane, pointless, and I wanted to share it.
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I never said they were scared of me. They were suspicious of me, yes, since they got a 911 hangup call, and I was doing something you don’t see people doing every day. The one that approached me didn’t approach alone, the other one just stayed out of my line of sight. I believe it’s your reading comprehension that is odd, reading more into my anecdote than I actually put there.
They could have gone rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock too. What state?
Do you not read much fiction?
Your story was mundane and pointless, but I’m not sure how interesting it was. I feel like your intentions were in the right place though, so I’ll let you off with a warning this time.
And your post was just… OH!, much more interesting. :rolleyes:
At least Cheshire Human’s post was (mildly) amusing, yours makes you sound like a… Okay, I’ll stop now.
I’ll get a warning if I don’t.
“We received a report of some possible embellishment…”
This one time, a cop pulled me over and gave me a ticket for throwing rocks into the quarry.
When my niece got the phone and called 911 as a toddler, the police weren’t nearly so nice, at least not initially. MissThang got the phone and was mashing buttons, and when my brother saw her, he yelled across the room for sil to get her “before she calls China.” Sil just took the phone away to severe protests, saw that it was on, and hung it up without checking to see if anyone was on the other end. A little later, two police cars roared up to the house and pulled into either end of their circular driveway. As one might when such a thing happens, Bub went outside to see what was going on. There were orders not to come any closer and to keep his hands where they could see them, questions about who else was in the house, demands that he bring his wife and baby out on the porch where the police can see them, all sorts of stuff.
He wasn’t willing to bring them out without knowing what was going on in case it was a dangerous situation, so things deteriorated even from where they started, until one of them finally told him there had been a 911 call at x time. Light dawned, but they certainly weren’t going to take his word for it, so he invited them in. They made him wait outside, looked over sil and niece with a fine-tooth comb, questioned her thoroughly about whether she felt safe in the house, etc. It took MissThang getting hold of the phone again while sil was distracted by the police for them to finally believe what had actually happened.
On the one hand, I’m glad they take potential DV calls so seriously. On the other hand , :eek:.