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The time I had a caring dentist prodding around in my molar, in which the filling had fallen out, and she put her prong thing right on the nerve. Man I tell you, that was the first time I actually saw little blotches of white around the edges of my vision it hurt so much.
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Last summer, whilst I was doing nothing more strenuous than walking down the street, the tendon on the underside of my right foot tore clean off the bone. It all happened in a fraction of a second, but I could clearly feel the ‘grinding’ as the tendon came off, much like you’d imagine a rope comes undone when its too tense, one strand at a time, but very quickly. This time I had little coloured lights as well as the white blotches, and fell down in agony.
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I’ve saved the best for last. Many moons ago, on a Sunday afternoon in the mountains in french Canada, I cut the heel of my foot on an underwater rock. It didn’t hurt, but the cut was deep and right on the underside of the heel, with all the thick skin. So anyways, ma and pa rush me off to find a doctor but of course everything is shut, it being a Sunday. Well, we did find the one guy in a white coat open. What didn’t strike me as odd at the time, but certainly does now, is that whereas some doctors have wallcharts of the human nervous system on the wall, he had the same thing of a cow. Hmm. So I laid down on my front and he got a good look at my foot, blood is still flowing copiously, and decides the area needs to be given a local and stiched up. So your man gets the biggest damn syringe out that I have ever seen, this was a huge glass vaccume tube-type thing, the sort that I imagine the British used to bring down mad elephants in India. He takes this behemoth, with a needle that looked more like a gun barrel than a surgical instrument, fills it with what must have been about a pint of novocain (meebe not quite a pint) and tries to punch it through the thick skin on the sole of my foot. Not once, but six times, right on the heel where all the nerves from your leg come out and go to the toes. This time I passed out, and I’ve never been to a vet since.
I had this back in high school and college. The GP would just trim it a litte and within a month or so, it would be back. Finally went to a podiatrist. He removed a portion of the nail on each side and killed the nailbed of those portions.
Was it worth it? You bet your ass it was.
THANKS, guys. I WAS gonna get my ingrown removed when I went to the ball-ologist. Fuck that. I can deal!
–Tim
I had a chevron bunionectomy done a few years back. The surgeon took a wedge of bone out of the joint below my big toe (in a chevron shape, if you hadn’t guessed) and pinned the bone together. That hurt for a while. The anesthesiologist tried doing an ankle block, but I could still feel the surgeon touching my foot, so they put me out. The ankle block involved four large shots directly into my ankle, and at the time I thought that hurt, but I appreciated it for the six hours that I didn’t feel the full effect of the surgery. After that, it was Percocet for three weeks. By the way, never trust an orthopedic surgeon.
Before the surgery:
Dr. Pain,“You’ll probably be in a great deal of pain and you won’t be completely healed for eight weeks, but I’ll prescribe enough pain meds to get you through.”
One week post-surgery:
Dr. Pain, “You really shouldn’t need prescription pain medication now.”
I got more Percocet, and the doctor survived. But only because I was crippled.
Other than that, I’d say the time the Novocaine didn’t quite take during a root canal was pretty bad. And let’s not forget the natural childbirth…
Not to me, Simetra!
When I was a freshman in college, I had a rather nasty bike accident involving me skidding several feet on gravel. I did a lot of damage to myself in this accident, mostly superficial (I skinned the entire left side of my face - fortunately I have no scarring), but the absolute worst, pain-wise, was that most of my left pinky nail was ripped off.
I had stitches in my chin, and my face was torn up. I couldn’t bend my right knee for several months following the accident. Both of my hands and knees were completely cut up, but the only reason I took the codeine they gave me was the pain in my pinky finger was absolutely unbearable.
I’ve had the “partial” nail removal, one side on the left toe, both sides on the right toe. The shots!!! OW!!! I started hollering at the g-d nurse, “What the HELL are you doing, woman?!!” She put this cold stuff that sorta numbs the foot, then come the shots. Like injecting fire into your feet! Not too much pain after the anaesthetic wore off. I’m sort of disappointed in the results. It was a year ago, and the one on the left is OK, but the one on the right is getting painful again. The roots are growing back, so I kind of pick at the sides and trim them the best I can. I’ll probably have it done again, but not too soon.
I had most of my ribs broken and re-attached to my sternum when I was 10, so I know that pain. Immediately after the surgery it hurt to breathe. Laughing was very painful. Shots in the thigh, I have no idea what, dulled the ache just enough to sleep, if only the bed next to me would have turned off the frickin’ Muppet Movie. But the worst moment was the chest tube removal; blood splattered on the ceiling and curtains 10 feet away…